I love nature but wtf

[JeuxDEnfants]

I am sitting outside undercover enjoying the rain and messing about on mn. Suddenly, it rains really hard... I'm still messing about on mn. Then I feel a wetness on my hairline and wipe it away. Two minutes later, when it's not raining anymore, it feels really cold and wet...
I wipe it away and it's a fecking slug. I love nature but that slug was pushing it! I feel violated!

Reminds me of the time I put a jumper on to find a big hairy spider looking at me, perched comfortably on my chest...

Yesterday I found a really large bug under my pillow. My house is covered in spiders and my cat keeps bringing mice in who like to hide under the fidge.

What are your worst stories about nature?

slugs on head...slugs in mouth...frogs on face, I love nature too but I seriously could vomit now.

Ooh daddy, that trumps it. I have a friend who used to like to out worms in her Wellies, squish them and eat them... She was only 3.

Last year, the cat jumped through the open lounge window behind me and dropped a frog on my head.

Ooh - I will set him free

Oh yeah, no cruelty to nature on this thread... They all get let off with a stern warning and their lives intact.

Aaarrrrrrgh ants! [horror emoticon]

A stray cat got into my aunts car one night. It panicked and shat EVERYWHERE. All over the seats, windows.

She opened her car in the morning and the hissing, shit covered feral cat bounded out at lightening speed and took off.

She wiped shit off the steering wheel, put a towel down and drove to a valet (poor bastard) with all the windows down.

My mum was sorting out the garden shed once and had a rat jump at her face.

My Dad had a spider crawl into his ear once and my Mum had to pull it out with tweezers. He was very calm about the whole thing. I'd have been hysterical

i was on the way to work on a crowded tube, felt a sudden sting on my bottom. ran in to the toilets when i got to work to find a wasp had crawled into my tights far far to close to nature for my liking

i used to get slugs in my kitchen i once picked one up without tissues and could not get the slime off my hands even bleach would not remove it

Sunflowers - !!! - poor wee spider being zapped by an iron. wondering if there was a spider shaped mark on the shirt.

loving the worm eating toddler and frog dropping cats.

last year I heard a "click" as something quite large dropped off dog's fur onto hall floor. It was a light blue colour. Realised it was a still alive, fully blood engorged tick. (itch even thinking about it) does anyone want my dog??

I put my ugg boot on and felt a lump, took it off shook it and a live mouse ran out- fucking bastard cat! To make it worse the kids told every human being on the school run about it and I think they all now think we have a rank infested house...

I am not using bleach on my face :). I just take minds to preschool tomorrow with a long white slithery mark :). Let them hypothesis about that :)

Not minds, my son, sorry on phone

Not me but I was in Burger King once and a couple of people found worms in their burgers while we were there.

I havent got a story but had to say it has taken me 4 hours to get my 10week old baby to sleep. i read this and cant stop cracking up!!!! Shes now awake. fml looool that was funny. "fecking slug" poor u xxxx

I woke up in the night when I was about 14 and had an itchy inner ear...and ended up scooping a woodlouse out with my nail. Still makes me shudder thinking about it

Glad your enjoyed it worldofmyown... I beginning to :)

Don't... I still have a fear of earwigs crawling in your ear after watching star trek...

Ticks and fox crap i'm used to...worms in burgers? Might have to leave this threadnow...

Semi-consciously brushed a tickle on my neck whilst sleeping.

Felt something go 'pop' in my hand.

Woke up in the morning and found it was in fact a big hairy spider.

Nearly vomitted.

I had a tickle in the back of my pants, thought it was a loose thread - fished out a squashed and now dead spider.
Ex boyfriend woke up screaming in the night - something had crawled into his ear, I had the half right idea to pour water into his ear (should have been oil) which eventually drowned it! Went to A&E - they didn't have anyone on duty who could syringe his ear, so sent him home - in the morning went to the GP who fished out a big mozzie like fly. Urgh.
I've taken a tick off my baby girl too - she was about 18 months old and we were on holiday and I noticed a speck of dirt on her neck - but when it didn't brush off I realised what it was! Same holiday I took her to a local GP as her finger was all swollen - she'd been bitten by a sand fly. Poor DD!

Lovely I am assuming they were in the salad, needless to say that BK has shut down now due to health and safety.

All my brushes with nature pale into insignificance after my mums story....
When my mum was off at girl guides camp she was quietly sitting in her tent reading when suddenly she felt something very heavy on her lap, peering over the edge of her book she looked down to see a 4m long South African Python slithering across her knees. She was and still is absolutely petrified of snakes. (btw she's south African this wasn't a rouge snake in the depths of the English countryside)
She just stayed stock still until it disappeared and then screamed her head off.

I remember a story from when I was little about a guy complaining about an itching in his ear. He went to the Doctor, who apparently found a spider that had built a nest deep down in his ear, and the itching was the baby spiders starting to come out.
Not sure if it was true, but from that day onwards I have ALWAYS pulled my hair over my ears when I'm bed just in case something tries crawling in!

Oh my daze seriously need to stop reading these cause im gonna wake dd up again.... too late lol x i feel itchy now. i remember when i was about 13, i was standing outside the shops (thinking i was cool) and a cunting pigeon smashed into my leg and started flapping around and i couldnt get rid of the bastard. so embarrasing lol.