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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be bloody annoyed with MIL?

85 replies

TheGOLDCunnyFunt · 12/09/2012 19:12

Dropped DD off at MILs at 1pm, I mentioned she had nappy rash because she did a poo in the night and I didn't discover it till about 7.30 this morning. DD had a fresh nappy on at 11am, and I've just got her changed for bed and found that she was still in the nappy I last put her in! Her poor bits are red raw :(

MIL has had 4 DC of her own so I find it really difficult to believe that she didn't think it needed changing in 7 hours when she knew about the rash.

Aibu to be bloody pissed off about this? DP didn't even say anything when I told him, she can do no wrong in his eyes. I swear he thinks he's still attatched to her apron strings Hmm

OP posts:
HeadfirstForHalos · 12/09/2012 19:13

Yeah, I'd be pissed off. Not changing a nappy, especially while they already have a rash is pretty neglectful.

Catmint · 12/09/2012 19:15

YANBU, I would be upset by this.

AdoraBell · 12/09/2012 19:18

Use a childminder/nursery instead, then if this kind of thing happens you can do something about it.

MamaGeekChic · 12/09/2012 19:19

YANBU I'd be livid- have you spoken to her?

ginmakesitallok · 12/09/2012 19:21

When did you pick her up?? (But YANBU)

CommanderShepard · 12/09/2012 19:22

Christ on a bike! Even with no rash that'd be rank. I'd be having words - I take it you'd provided nappies? (Of course you did)

Original poster
TheGOLDCunnyFunt · 12/09/2012 19:22

We can't afford one Bell, MIL only has DD on a wednesday afternoon to give me some time to myself. I'm a SAHM you see.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheGOLDCunnyFunt · 12/09/2012 19:23

We picked her up at half 6.

OP posts:
mamij · 12/09/2012 19:24

Your poor DD. Hope it clears up soon. My friend's DD has such bad nappy rash she screams even when her nappy is being changed. Maybe you need to tell her mil that nappy has to be changed x times in x hours just to make it clear??

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 12/09/2012 19:24

YANBU. I wouldnt leave my child there if she has shown she can't even be bothered to do the most basic baby task.

Have time o yourself when your dh can look after the baby.

NatashaBee · 12/09/2012 19:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TheGOLDCunnyFunt · 12/09/2012 19:29

Yes I provided nappies, and I know for definite that it hadn't been changed because the ones in her bag are the purple active fit pampers, and she was wearing a green baby-dry one, the one I put on her.

OP posts:
pumpkinsweetie · 12/09/2012 19:31

Yanbu-that is rank, leaving a baby in its nappy for 7 hours is truely shocking.
There is no excuse for it Shock

Bobyan · 12/09/2012 19:34

So are you going to stop sending her there then?

TheWonderfulFanny · 12/09/2012 19:36

Pal up with another sahm if you can and see if you can take it in turns - one does childcare, the other gets an afternoon off?

But if your mil can't even be trusted to change a nappy, I'd worry about whatever else she might not think important as your baby grows...

pumpkinsweetie · 12/09/2012 19:38

I agree TheWonderful: what else will she 'forget' to do!

MrDobalina · 12/09/2012 19:41

are you sure MiL didnt just have a green one in the house/ had bought her own bag of nappies??

put a sock of porridge in her bath with no bubble bath/soap and slather in metanium.....is like magic

its a tricky one..because she is doing you a favour. I suppose you have to decide if you want to stop her having dd Sad Is she normally lovely and attentive? Can you just have a conversation with her about it? find out why this happened...

JollyJellyBear · 12/09/2012 19:48

My mil and mum don't tend to change wet nappies. I think it is because their babies wore terry nappies and you'd want to 'make them last'. They rarely look after my children though!

I would be really annoyed.

My mil covered my dd1's excema with Johnson's baby lotion once even though I gave her some cream prescribed by the doctor. As I said, she rarely looks after them!

inkyfingers · 12/09/2012 19:50

Agree with bobyan - what can you do about it? She's your mil.

SuzySheepSmellsNice · 12/09/2012 19:55

Perhaps she is under the delusion that just because they can be worn for up to 12 hours, they should be. Maybe mention that she needs changing more often.

Salmotrutta · 12/09/2012 19:56

My mil and mum don't tend to change wet nappies. I think it is because their babies wore terry nappies and you'd want to 'make them last'

That may well be true for your Mum and MIL JollyJelly but it certainly wasn't true for me or anyone I knew who used terry nappies.

Wet terry nappies were easier to "detect" IMHO and I don't know anyone who left their babies in them for 7 hours Hmm

AdoraBell · 12/09/2012 19:59

Ah, sorry. I really don't know what you can do then. If DP thinks she's always right then you're very much on your own in terms of tackling the issue. Is MIL the kind to talk about things rationally, without taking it as a personal attack?

I would also be annoyed and I agree it is neglectful.

Could you get a couple of hours to yourself while DP looks after DD? You should be able to. I do know how important it is as I didn't get any time when mine were tiny. I could have, but I wouldn't leave them alone with the ILs and OH was working abroad.

SuzySheepSmellsNice · 12/09/2012 20:00

Obviously I'd be pretty pissed off too though... Poor little thing

apostropheuse · 12/09/2012 20:01

You are not being unreasonable! That's shocking, the poor wee baby.

I cannot for the life of me understand why anyone who is a mother herself can not know that you don't leave a baby in the same nappy for that amount of time - particularly when they've already got a rash.

It's something you either have to speak honestly to her about, or don't leave your baby with her again.

Socknickingpixie · 12/09/2012 20:01

ive allways used reusables and ive never left a nappy on that long that aside, i really really wouldnt be leaving the baby there again this is why i wont leave any of my kids with gp's for any lenght of time for some reason they all seam to think nappies can be left on untill poo is involved.