To find Kim Marsh's wedding pictures in incredible bad taste

[Whitershadeofpale]

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Selling your wedding pictures may not be to my taste but each to their own but making money out of posing in your wedding dress with your dead son's ashes leaves an incredibly bad taste in my mouth.

I understand if she'd wanted to take the ashes as a private tribute but exploiting it for financial gain I find frankly disgusting.

YABVU!

Her/their loss and obviously her/their way of dealing with it.

I don't think I have ever seen a more judgemental opener!!! Walk a mile in her shoes and have some empathy!

'Sometimes when you have a dead child you do the weirdest things. Honestly.'

But how is it weird? She wanted him there, same as all her other children. That's how he could be there.

I agree expat - don't find it that odd if that is what she feels most appropriate.

'But posing on the front of OK like she did was tasteless in my view.'

Yes, only mention it. But don't show it! It might make judgemental arses uncomfortable when they can't look away from someone's loss.

Well, OP, I think it is in incredibly bad taste to complain about how a bereaved parent chooses to remember their child and I think doing so on a site which has many bereaved parents on it is frankly disgusting and sick.

HTH.

This is like that thread where someone said you shouldn't mention your dead child to his/her siblings. WTAF? Just erase them from your life and 'move on'. You move on no matter what, because no one can freeze time. But hide away a human being who is your child's brother or sister? Pretend they never existed? Don't mention it to others, it make them uncomfortable. Well, fuck 'em then. Their discomfort is their problem and stupid considering we will all die. What kind of message does that teach them? That death, a natural part of life and an inevitability for all of us, is something to be hidden away, uncomfortable and shameful.

The lack of empathy on here is staggering.

Her child is in a box ffs. How she choses to manage that loss, get through the day, just get out of bed for goodness sake, is entirely up to her.

No expat you misunderstood me.

I'm talking from the viewpoint of a mother who has lost a son.

We do things that bring us comfort even though it might look odd to others.

I don't think it's odd.

The point is, Everlong, that is only 'looks odd' to others - and honestly, fuck 'em if it does - because of the taboo surrounding childhood and infant illness and death.

Nothing at all weird about it except if you're a judgemental arse.

She wanted him there, the only way he could attend is in a box. She took photos of her with him same as with her other children.

For work I've interviewed a lot of bereaved parents. Lots of them told me about the toys they placed in their children's coffins to keep them company in the dark and the favourite outfits they were buried in. They invariably wanted that in the story.

At first I found it a bit strange because it wasn't my experience, but I quickly began to think: 'So what, if it makes them happy?'

My mum spent ages choosing the right burial spot for my dad. She insisted on a place halfway up the hill with a good view but not too cold for him.

Then she wanted him placed amongst other old people but later decided to plant him next to an 18-year-old boy on the grounds that when she'd gone the boy's family would still be visiting and my dad liked young people best and would like the company.

How you cope with grief is nothing to do with anyone else.

I know why she had him there.

I would have done the same.

I agree with her.

I'm not having a go at her.

I know how she feels.

'Lots of them told me about the toys they placed in their children's coffins to keep them company in the dark and the favourite outfits they were buried in.'

People do that no matter what the age of the deceased is. We put a flask of whisky in with my gran, and her pipe full of baccy and her Zippo, and buried her in her favourite apron.

We buried my other gran with her wedding ring because she never ever took it off, even in the 21 years after her husband died.

When we go the cemetary where our child is buried, there are loads of headstones of adults and elderly adults with things like football flags, can of beer, statues of the type of dog they liked or had in life.

I think the picture beautiful, and a lovely way to have her little boy with her on her wedding day. For all you who are saying "its a inappropriate way to grieve"

1. What the F**K has it got to do with you. And
2. Is there a right way to grieve?, Im sure as hell there isnt.

She lost her little boy, her son. Please give her and her family some respect, I hope Kim doesnt hear about this, as she would be heartbroken im sure!

There really are some cretinous arseholes on here!

Quote from rochandahardplace2012: 1. What the FK has it got to do with you

In fairness Rockandahardplace, if it's displayed on the front of a national magazine people are entitled to comment.

I was talking about people saying how she should grieve, not about the pictures

I know expat

I know, Rockandahardplace and I'm saying if Kym Marsh chose to have that photograph placed on the cover of a national magazine who are paying her for her wedding photographs, readers who have paid for the magazine can comment on the content and whether they think it is appropriate. It goes with the territory.

thats true but there are nicer ways of putting it

Im sorry but I am still over people on here who are getting a hard time because they happen to have a different view point to the majority-since when did it become acceptable to start name calling because someone doesnt agree with you?...

Kym marsh has left herself open to be judged by selling her wedding pics to a national magazine.Thats all.

moomin-I am sorry to hear about your loss but just wanted to ask where you got your statistics for the occurence of ic?-as from what I have learned true ic is actually a lot rarer than 25%-I have also suffered losses due to ic btw.

Posted by Pinkforever I'm sorry but I am still over people on here who are getting a hard time because they happen to have a different view point to the majority-since when did it become acceptable to start name calling because someone doesnt agree with you?...

I agree. I'm horrified by some of the nastiness that has been going on with this thread. Mumsnet at its worst.....

Tbh I am struggling with that....

It is ok to object to the picture because you feel people should grieve differently

It's not ok to object to the judging of a bereaved parent

Is that right?

If there is horrifying nastiness and name calling, report it.

People judge every minute of every day. I dont judge her bereavement in the least-as I said in a post further up I have lost babies myself-lots of them in fact-but I do judge her letting the magazine put that photo on the front cover as it has clearly been done to sell more mags...

I think some people find the very public and posed nature of the photograph, included as part of a financial package between the bride and the magazine, distasteful. But are not, in any way, judging the fact that she wished to have her son's ashes with her on her wedding day.

So either you believe that selling photos of your wedding is distasteful or you don't, because she posed with her surviving children as well.