To find Kim Marsh's wedding pictures in incredible bad taste

[Whitershadeofpale]

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Selling your wedding pictures may not be to my taste but each to their own but making money out of posing in your wedding dress with your dead son's ashes leaves an incredibly bad taste in my mouth.

I understand if she'd wanted to take the ashes as a private tribute but exploiting it for financial gain I find frankly disgusting.

For what its worth, the child's right to rest in peace is seriously undermined here. The dignity of death is being ignored. The child is not in a position to state their wishes as they have become an image. Anyone deserves to be left in peace once they have passed. To bring his remains to family events and so on is disresptectful to the child. Let him rest, please. Grieve as you must but let him his remains rest with a modicum of dignity. Please

Lola don't be so bloody ridiculous

YABVU

Unless you have been in the position of having to go through labour and delivery for your much wanted but deceased baby, you should just shut up.

Your thread and some of the replies on it makes me sick.

Lola What a load of crap. I have never lost a child but I lost my mum as a young teen and if it had been possible I would have had no problem bringing her ashes to my wedding day. As it was, instead I made a speech and included my mum and we all raised a glass to her. And why the fuck shouldn't I? Just so people didn't feel awkward? Sod that.
Oh, and FYI, I can't imagine my mum isn't resting in peace just because I talk about her at important times in my life.

Seriously lola that post is totally offensive. My children haven't become images, whatever that means. My children are very much part of my family. As Kims little boy is clearly very much part of hers. I think it would have been more disrespectful not to include him in her day.

Lola That's bloody horrible, to suggest she's not being respectful to her child's dignity by grieving publicly. People who have lost children often find it hard to bring up that child's name in conversation, or to even have photos around, because it makes people feel uncomfortable, they don't know what to say. But if it brings any comfort to the mother, then it is worth it utterly.
By saying that, every grieving mother that reads your post may wonder about their own grieving process, if their continued grief means that their child can't rest in peace. Another thing to feel crap about.
Your post is far, far more disrespectful than anything Kym Marsh has done.

Exactly missy. Can you imagine how some people would react if she hadn't mentioned him? (though that would be ok if that is what she felt was best) It would seem as though he had been airbrushed from her life.

Wow! I don't think I've ever sat on my hands quite so hard.

Now look - different people will grieve for their lost children in different ways. What their grief will have in common is that it is a huge life changing burden on their backs. That's stating the obvious I know but it seems it needs to said.
Those of us who, thank God, have never known such loss take for granted that we have reams and reams of photos and memory on memory. Those of you who disagree with Kym Marsh's actions just think about this - what if today you were told that there would never be any more photos of your child. That your child would not play a part in a family occasion. That you will never feel their hand in yours again. Put yourself in that place and then think about how you would feel for such a photo as this.

Lola - your post is idiotic and grossly offensive. Why not report it and have it removed?

I don,t see any problem with someone wanting to include all their children in a family celebration. We all are different in those things but I do think the picture has been singled out and put on the cover fr the wrong reasons as there are no front cover pictures of her with her other children. And this magazine is not known for its sensitivity in fact quite the reverse.

Lola your post proving once again ignorance and compassion don't always go together .

Seriously think about what you are saying.

I do agree with Lola about it becoming an image which could lead to people who follow celebs and these mags seeing it as such and the real meaning ad sadness being lost which is why I think maybe they should have kept it off te front cover and preserved some privacy.

Lola, what an unnecessary comment.

We buried our son, even now I wonder if it was the right choice. I hate to think of him there on his own and wonder if I should have cremated him instead so I could of kept his ashes in the house with us.

I know some people have lockets to keep them in. How upsetting that some people think this is disrespectful. Unless you have been in this awful position it's hard to realise just how much it affects you, it changes everything.

I should probably hide this thread as it is making me cry

mommins - I said lower down that parents like you shouldn't take this thread to heart. It's giving an ignorant and hurtful view. Don't let that upset you.

The rest of you - I hope you can see how upsetting this thread can be for people. Think before you post please.

But noddy the reason it's on the cover is because it's such an unusual image - A mother showing grief, on her wedding day of all days! We are so used to keeping the pain of loss private that we've forgotten what grief looks like. That is so bloody sad. I know when a close family member died, people didn't know what to say to us because they were not used to speaking about death and loss. Some friends even stayed away out of awkwardness. This taboo we have around death means it's an even lonelier time than it ought to be. Almost ten years later, people still baulk when I bring up the member of my family that died, even if it's a funny story about something she did. They would rather not talk about her.

Moomins :( I am so sorry. Huge hugs to you. I want to cry when I even think of what it must be like for you.

I think the image is difficult for people because so many find the whole issue of death difficult.
I remember my mum being shocked but how many people pretended not o see her after my dad died. And how my dh sat with a friend at work for ages talking about his child who died very swiftly after birth and was shocked when he said that no one else had even asked his sons name.

We recoil from death and grief. It freaks us out, wrong foots us.

But I always assume that is an instinct to challenge, to overcome.

I think that whatever gets her through the day is fine tbh. The image is actually quite lovely.

It's just something you don't do. There is a difference and you're being very thoughtless.

I haven't read the thread so someone else might have said this: what do you think of the elderly woman from Oldham who died in a mugging last year because she clung to her bag containing her husband's precious ashes?

Was she sick too for missing him and wanting him every day?

northern I wouldn't usually but I'm 18 weeks pg today, so coming upto the time my cervix failed last time, it's also less than two weeks away from the anniversary of his birth so I'm more than a little over emotional right now I suppose!

My Dsis lost her dd at birth 18 years ago. She still thinks about her constantly, we still talk about what she would be up to, what sort of person she would be. People who haven't experienced this have no idea what they are talking about.
They come here to post ignorant little comments which I think they know will hurt bereaved parents. They are acting like nasty little trolls.

If you can't say anything supportive then don't say anything. Leave the thread unless you WANT to upset bereaved parents.

Oh moomin I hope everything goes
Smoothly for you this time xxx (())

My mother lost her first child. She was 17. It was 60 years ago. She held him for ages but the midwife eventually took him off her and told my mother to forget it and move on, she was young.
My mum says her arms still hurt sometimes.

I think the sooner we accept that people should grieve as they wish, the better.

It's true what you say, we don't have the memories, or much physically to hold on to. We don't have birth or death certificates. We have some pictures that we keep hidden so as not to upset people. We were lucky enough to be able to have foot prints, but some people don't have those. Even the term for a loss at that stage is shitty, late mc.

Thankyou Iawn x

The old lady in Oldham didn't sell the image to Hello so while it is an interesting comparison, not quite the same.

Think it is the celeb mag, where do celebs draw the line at selling their lives type of issue that perhaps is causing concern.