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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To find Kim Marsh's wedding pictures in incredible bad taste

381 replies

Whitershadeofpale · 11/09/2012 19:50

daily mail alert

Selling your wedding pictures may not be to my taste but each to their own but making money out of posing in your wedding dress with your dead son's ashes leaves an incredibly bad taste in my mouth.

I understand if she'd wanted to take the ashes as a private tribute but exploiting it for financial gain I find frankly disgusting.

OP posts:
Moominsarescary · 11/09/2012 21:56

I know exactly how she feels, I have the same condition. My cervix failed at the same gestation as her and in the end my son was born this time last year at nearly 20 weeks.

If she wants to carry his ashes around for the rest of her life and have pictures in the paper of them that is her business. She can grieve however she wants.

Hopefully it may raise awareness for IC, which accounts for nearly 25 % of 2nd trimester loses each year

JeuxDEnfants · 11/09/2012 22:05

Fwiw, my mum has the same condition and lost children.!inwish she was able to express it more but society deems it tasteless.

arthurfowlersallotment · 11/09/2012 22:14

I find that photo heartbreaking. Sad

ReindeersGoldenBollocks · 11/09/2012 22:16

I can't imagine her loss. I have no idea whether or not she is being exploited by Hello - she may have felt tremendously proud of that picture as it was showing the world that her son is still a part of her life.

Either way, she has experienced the loss of a child - which is probably one of the worst experiences in the world. Criticism is the last thing she needs.

I thought it was a rather touching picture.

midori1999 · 11/09/2012 22:19

I sometimes wonder what is wrong with some people. And I don't mean Kim Marsh... Hmm

As a Mother who lost my twins girls after they were born prematurely, I can absolutely guarantee that Kim Marsh didn't think 'ooh, I can make a bit of money out of this, my dead baby boy'. Angry

I can't speak for anyone else, but I know that I feel to mention my twin girls at every opportunity, because it helps to remember them. I always talk about them and I always tell people about them. I have photos of them in my house. It is all I have left of them. Memories. I can absolutely say that if I were someone who had sold my wedding photos, then yes, I would include some mention of my baby girls in them and I would want some part of them with me on that day.

RandomUsername · 11/09/2012 22:22

That photo actually brought a tear to my eye, i cant even begin to imagine what that poor woman went through losing her baby, and i thought having him there on her special day was a lovely tribute

FreudiansGoldSlipper · 11/09/2012 22:22

YABVVU

not sure on the selling of wedding photos but it is what celebs do now to earn extra money. she wanted him to be part of the day and this sadly is the only way he can be

Longtalljosie · 11/09/2012 22:29

I thought the photo was beautiful. But I guess some people like to live in a sanitised world where nasty emotions like grief are kept out of their way...

gimmecakeandcandy · 11/09/2012 22:39

Yabu and sound very nasty - this thread is awful. Who are YOU to judge how she grieves for her baby? She would have approved the photos and probably thought it a beautiful and fitting tribute for him to be on the front cover and for you to think anything otherwise shows how nastily you think!

You have been totally U and need to rethink the way you think about this as it does you no favours.

It's a heart rendering picture - poor Kym x

threeOrangesocksmorgan · 11/09/2012 22:41

what a lovely photo
op don't judge something you obviously have no clue about

HiHowAreYou · 11/09/2012 22:44

I haven't seen the picture, but I'm sure to her and her family it is beautiful and important.
YABU.

MildredIsMyAlterEgo · 11/09/2012 23:02

OP - the poor woman has lost her baby.

How about empathy instead of judginess?

YABVU.

QuickLookBusy · 11/09/2012 23:18

She is that baby's Mummy and she can do what the heck she likes with his ashes.

If you find it offensive then I expect you have never experienced anything like this. You should count your blessings rather than spending time judging those who have experienced such a terrible and life changing tragedy.

theinets · 11/09/2012 23:59

Tasteless and tacky woman. Cheap and nasty, sorry.

missymoomoomee · 12/09/2012 00:20

Tasteless and tacky woman. Cheap and nasty, sorry.

Really is it tasteless and tacky to include ALL of your children in your special day and not be ashamed? Is it cheap and nasty to help other parents be able to talk freely about their angel babies by doing something about this ridiculous awkwardness people feel when we talk about them? Do you think a thread would have been started about her getting pictured with her other children? I doubt it very much.

Honestly the attitudes of the minority on this bloody thread is vile to say the least.

YouMakeMeWannaLaLa · 12/09/2012 00:47

God, yes, she should have hidden the fact that she had lost a child away in case it made anyone (including strangers) feel uncomfortable.

Hmm
lilolilmanchester · 12/09/2012 01:14

hard to say...

I don't think you can jump to the conclusion that she made money out of "posing in her wedding dress with her son's ashes" - she made money out having photos taken of her wedding (not sure I would but then her choice) - and as others have said, she wanted all her children to be part of it.

One thing I am sure about, I wouldn't want to have been through what she went through, regardless.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 12/09/2012 01:19

it will have been one of a thousand photos taken that day, i hope she herself is comfortable with it being on the front page, as it seems to me that if anything, Hello is exploiting her grief by putting that one photo on the cover to be judged by the readership.

ShadowsCollideWithPeople · 12/09/2012 01:35

YABU. She wanted to include her son in her wedding day. Her wedding was photographed for a magazine. Thus, her son was included in the photographs.

TBH, I find it distasteful that anyone feels the need to judge and comment on the way a grieving parent handles their grief. I have no freaking idea what this woman went through, the pain she feels. I have had four (early) MCs, and I almost lost my mind with the pain and grief and sense of loss. I can barely begin to imagine the horror of having your child inside you, watching your bump grow, feeling kicks, only to have that child die in your arms. So no, I don't think anyone gets to judge her for how she handles her grief, or lives her life without the child who should have been a part of it.

Death, particularly the death of a child, makes people uncomfortable. However, that does not mean that bereaved parents should hide away and shut up. It means that everyone else should learn to deal with it, and not make bereaved parents feel strange, or disturbed, or disgusting, or macabre for wanting to talk about, or indeed include, their beloved children. (Yes, I read the fecking comments on the shitty Daily Mail article, which is where I got all of those delightful adjectives from. I should have known better. Some of them truly destroyed my faith in humanity).

differentnameforthis · 12/09/2012 05:14

It's her grief, she can express it how she likes.

How dare any one of you tell a parent who has lost a child how to act in any circumstance. Thankfully, but for the grace of God I have never been in such a position, but what leaves a bad taste in MY mouth, is this thread!

differentnameforthis · 12/09/2012 07:28

The photo in itself isn't even offensive to me

Except in the title you said they were in bad taste...

bringbacksideburns · 12/09/2012 07:38

What a horrible, ill thought out thread.

Who gives a damn how she deals with her grief, which must have been devastating?
How do you know she isn't giving some of the money to a charity.

I have no idea what i would personally do, because, thankfully i have never been through this but my heart goes out to her.

Psammead · 12/09/2012 07:44

I think I would feel like I didn't want him to be forgotten. I think I would feel that quite desperately.

MyNeighbourIsStrange · 12/09/2012 07:49

I was more offended by non Dad of the year Brian McFaddens wedding day comments.

Feel sorry for Kim's baby loss.

Gigondas · 12/09/2012 07:49

Yabu to think taking her ashes to wedding is tasteless if that is the way she handles her grief. Each to their own as it is hard enough- I found there was truth in the phrase "mad with grief" when I lost my boy in late pregnancy so have every sympathy with what works for anyone else.

I am not a big fan of the celeb wedding mag as no amount of money to me could make up for your wedding being skewed for photo opportunities and editorial slant. It should be about celebrating with friends and family but I may be simplistic.

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