Facial piercings and looking for work, AIBU to think that they do matter.

[RosesAreBetter]

A good friend of mine has quite a few unusual facial piercings, but she doesn't wear metal jewellery in them, most of the time she just wears clear retainers.
But still the piercings are quite obvious.

She has recently been told that she is going to be made redundant and had been looking for another job, but is struggling because most employers take one look at her and say she will have to take out the piercings or she won't even get an interview (her words).

I have just listened to her rant for an hour about how unfair it is.
She is a lovely person, really pretty and friendly. And she is definitely qualified for the jobs she is applying for, BUT she should accept that most employers are not going to be impressed by multiple unusual facia piercings, no matter how hidden they are by the clear jewellery.

She thinks that it since she wears retainers they should not be an issue.

She is 29, almost all of the piercings can not be taken out for more than a few minutes before the begin to heal (so taking them our for work would b impossible).
She has had most of them for over a decade and thinks they are acceptable with retainers in them.
Tbh most of them are virtually invisible. They just look like scars. And I they would look almost exactly the same without the platic retainers in as the scars will still be there.

But at the end of the day she chose to get them/chooses to keep them so she can't expect them not to be an issue.

Sorry for the rubbish typing, im on my phone.

It's a shame that people don't see past them... But they don't always...

I didn't know piercings close up that quickly. I have a nose stud, and although I prefer not to take the stud out, I have done, for ops under GA, and the stud has been out for a full day or even overnight and it's not been a problem to put it back in.

That may just be me though.

People do occasionally have strong reactions to facial piercings. If she's had them for 10+ years she should be used to that.
And it is up to the individual employer to decide what they find acceptable or not.
It's tough, especially if she really loves her piercings. But she may have to accept that she'll be somewhat limited in finding employers who are ok with piercings.

She has been told they are an issue. If she chooses to feel that's unfair and refuse then that's her decision, but she has to live with the consequences.

I would like to go to work in my pyjamas, but I don't. It's work, not a self expression festival.

They do matter, despite us all sitting here fluffy wuffy and spouting equality. As do tattoos spacers etc. Business employ people to promote their image, if their image is someone who coloured them self in and staples themselves together, then fine. If their chosen career is mainstream, then that is their problem that they have rendered themselves unemployable

*I would like to go to work in my pyjamas, but I don't. It's work, not a self expression festival.

Love that :o

her choice. and theirs. make yourself acceptable or don't get the job. there's no reason why employers should 'overlook' piercings, tattoos or any other tasteless, downmarket 'adornment'.

Crap. Bold didn't work.

she wouldn't be allowed to work at my workplace due to the potential of catching her piercings or retainers on anything and ripping them out (manual job)

I would immagine any position where she is meeting clients they would be frowned upon

the fact of this is that employers can at the minute be very very choosy and she needs to conform or miss out (sad but true)

"almost all of the piercings can not be taken out for more than a few minutes before the begin to heal"
Is that just what she says? I wonder if that is actually so. Given that she has had most of them for over a decade, it surprises me. It took years for my ear piercings to close, and even now I think if I was willing to push, they would give.

I have many tattoos and piercings and stretched ears and have a very mainstream job, I work for the civil service!

Some jobs care, some don't. I do find it a tiny bit odd that bits of metal are more important to her than her job (and I speak as someone who had a nose ring before everyone else jumped on the bandwagon).

I think they do matter - along with tatts and very brightly dyed hair or punk styles etc - I would not expect to go to the GP, solicitor or parents evening to see facial piercings or a pink mohican, many people would be put off seeing the checkout girl or bus driver looking like that too

in these days when a christian cannot even express themselves by wearing a cross on a chain at work, of course "extreme" fashions need to be tamed down if you want to be taken seriously in the workplace

I'm sorry, but I agree with the replies on here. Your friend has been given a reality check and she needs to understand that most companies, especially those with customer facing staff want employees who are a little more conventional looking.

I am not anti self expression at all, but there is a time and a place for it, and the place is not the workplace.

I would like to go to work in my pyjamas, but I don't. It's work, not a self expression festival.

I love that as well

JumpingThroughMoreHoops You have put that much better than I could.

piercings, tattoos or any other tasteless, downmarket 'adornment'

Just spotted this and am feeling a bit about it... not all piercings and tattoos are tasteless and downmarket. Some, sure - a tattoo of a woman with humungo breasts on someone's biceps isn't fabulous unless that person is a breast surgeon advertising his or her work :o

For those of you saying that the piercings matter more than her job, you are missing a few important points.

a) she's wearing retainers so that the piercings are less visible
b) even if she didn't wear retainers the marks will still be visible
c) she has been made redundant - therefore piercings do not equal unemployable. She was employed with them.

"not all piercings and tattoos are tasteless and downmarket"

I know, but most employers are a bit wary of people who are big on visual "self expression".

Agreed. I think it depends on the form of self-expression. There's big and "in your face" and then there's small and discreet.

I was just objecting to lumping all tattoos and piercings together as tasteless.

She could get flesh coloured retainers, depending on the piercing they can blend really well.

Some piercings do close that fast, even after a decade, some stay usable for years, you don't know unless you try.

She has the choice really, some employers would be fine, some wouldn't. It depends on whether she can afford to hold out for one that will take her as she comes.

The workplace is not a democracy. The employer gets to choose. Your friend is right that it's "not fair" but that's how it is.

Unless she's going to start her own company she either has to accept it'll take longer to find a job or take them out.

Your friend would not be employed in my company I'm afraid.

My directors would veto straight away and the board is half male and half female. If she were employed she would be asked to cover any tattoes and remove piercings before meeting clients.

Strange world I live in but there you go.

Sad, weird and pretty pathetic that it's an issue in this day and age.

I don't get it. I wonder if it's regional? Noone bats an eyelid at tatts or piercings round here.

I think it quite possibly is regional, peoplesprincess.

If it is the piercings or the job,then I guess she will have to choose,but I think it is silly.Having piercings/tattoos don't relate to your ability to do a job(except where there are Health and Safety concerns) so why should employers care?
(Shades of arguing with my Dad many,many years ago when I was a teenager about the importance of Dressing Smartly,and Uniform.I know many people do care in RL,I just think it is a bit of a waste of energy,and irrelevant. What people can do - that is important.No,I am not pierced or tattoed.)