Facial piercings and looking for work, AIBU to think that they do matter.

[RosesAreBetter]

A good friend of mine has quite a few unusual facial piercings, but she doesn't wear metal jewellery in them, most of the time she just wears clear retainers.
But still the piercings are quite obvious.

She has recently been told that she is going to be made redundant and had been looking for another job, but is struggling because most employers take one look at her and say she will have to take out the piercings or she won't even get an interview (her words).

I have just listened to her rant for an hour about how unfair it is.
She is a lovely person, really pretty and friendly. And she is definitely qualified for the jobs she is applying for, BUT she should accept that most employers are not going to be impressed by multiple unusual facia piercings, no matter how hidden they are by the clear jewellery.

She thinks that it since she wears retainers they should not be an issue.

She is 29, almost all of the piercings can not be taken out for more than a few minutes before the begin to heal (so taking them our for work would b impossible).
She has had most of them for over a decade and thinks they are acceptable with retainers in them.
Tbh most of them are virtually invisible. They just look like scars. And I they would look almost exactly the same without the platic retainers in as the scars will still be there.

But at the end of the day she chose to get them/chooses to keep them so she can't expect them not to be an issue.

I would employ someone with piercings if they didn't meet the public. Meeting the public ? No.

Main reason is that the public make quick judgements and the impression given out can influence how they perceive their whole experience. I value my reputation

"almost all of the piercings can not be taken out for more than a few minutes before the begin to heal"
Is that just what she says? I wonder if that is actually so. Given that she has had most of them for over a decade, it surprises me. It took years for my ear piercings to close, and even now I think if I was willing to push, they would give.

Most of her piercings are in the soft tissue, they are not the usual nose/lip/eyebrow which are in shallow tissue which does heal and can be taken out for extended periods.
Soft tissue piercings never fully heal internally and due to this if they are taken out they will begin to heal immediately.
None of her piercing are 'standard' hence why I said they were unusual.

Other than the piercings, which she does wear tiny clear retainers in (with no external ball or O ring) all of the time she is completely 'average' looking, she is what I would consider very pretty, she has lovely long blonde hair, and she dresses normally.
The piercing do not look crazy on her face either, even with metal in them they always suited her, and never looked 'too much'.

Her job, and the jobs she is looking for, are not customer based, and they are not anything that there would be a H&S concern, it is purely down to the view of the employer.

The thing is she is a lovely intelegant, confident person, and with two jobs she was virtually offered a job, until they met her and saw the piercings.

Another thing is even if she takes them out, certain ones especially will leave big permanent scars, so she is always going to look 'different'.

I do see her point, but I think she is BU if she thinks the job world is a fair place.

"In all honesty, piercings are more noticable without jewelery than with retainers in as depending on the piercing you will see the indentation of the skin along with the mark from the piercing."

Definitely. I assume she has surface piercings?

Unfortunately life's not fair.
She is automatically going to be rejected for many jobs that she might be fantastic at due to the piercings, thats life.
She doesn't get to choose company policy and people are judged by how they look right off the bat, right or wrong.
I'll have to remember the comment about going to work in Pajamas

it is not discriminatation for a company employer to have a policy as part of uniform/ appearance policy that no tattoos can be visble and no piercings worn

I was reading something this week on it, but can not lay my hand on it right now, but basically it was for instance you can not have rule that your employee can not get their nose pierced but you can have a rule that they can not wear any type of nose ornament ring/stud/retainer if that means it closes up so be it

it also mentioned that if for region reasons it was suggested you had short sleeved tops but you had naked lady tattoo on your forearm that could cause offense and therefore be against policy

Well of course having facial piercings limits your job options.

Should she take them out? Hell no!

Did the people in Mutoid Waste who made the wonderful Mad-Max-like spectacle in the closing ceremony tonight, get where they are by removing their facial piercings and conforming?! Did they fuck. They've been living outside of society's norms for a couple of decades. Tonight they've been invited to create a spectacle for the world to see. Counter culture meets the establishment!

Your friend and people like her be able to wear what they like, even (or especially?) if they challenge people's perceptions. It's only a bit of metal / plastic FFS. At the beginning of the last century women didn't generally work. 50 years ago, wearing jeans to an office job would have been unacceptable. Today people sniff at piercings but hey, give it time!

For your friend this may be a bit academic though! If she doesn't want to take them out, on a more practical level she may like to consider a piercing-friendly stop-gap job while she seeks an organisation who are a little more modern in their thinking.

I have several facial piercings and would never wear them to an interview, even for a job in one of the creative industries where attitudes to appearance are more relaxed. I think once you've made your best impression on the potential employer, you wait until your job is offered and secured before gradually introducing the odd piercing, and gauge how much you think you can get away with.

In my previous HR job, I wore a discreet nose stud (after observing what other employees were wearing) but thought my lip ring a bit too much. In my current job I once attended a meeting with company execs and had completely forgotten to take out my facial piercings, but it wasn't mentioned. I think they didn't notice anyway as they were too busy tearing strips out of each other!

I have one friend who adamantly refuses to take out her piercings, even when doing a CV drop in funky/laid-back shops and bars etc. She's very much a "take me as I am, if they don't like it, stuff them" sort of person, but a bit naive in my opinion to think that her appearance won't matter. (I believe it shouldn't, but it does.) Another friend commented recently that someone came into her workplace with a CV, and as soon as he left she heard the manager saying "never in a million years with that bolt through his face."

Moral of the story, professionally, err on the side of caution. Go to the extreme in your social life if you wish. It actually puts me much more at ease if I work with people who have tattoos and piercings, I find that at least we'd have that in common if nothing else.

i think it depends on the job.

i once went for an interview at a bank and was interviewed by someone rattling a tongue piercing around her teeth the whole time she talked to me - i found it off putting as an interviewee and i was quite surprised, but im an old gimmer. i do have a tattoo but its in a place that i can choose to either show it or not show it.

What about men with tattoos on their face? I certainly wouldn't employ them.

ErrorError I like your attitude.

Facial piercings and neck tattoos are awful

I've noticed a lot of those hand tattoos creeping in, the 'Cheryl Cole' type ones. I do judge, and harshly. I don't care that you are a teacher. I don't care if you are the best teacher in the world. I don't want you near my child, normalising defacing yourself.

Where ate these piercings? I can't imagine what you are really talking about. She probably is giving the impression that she is some kind of extremist.

"I have one friend who adamantly refuses to take out her piercings, even when doing a CV drop in funky/laid-back shops and bars etc. She's very much a "take me as I am, if they don't like it, stuff them" sort of person, but a bit naive in my opinion to think that her appearance won't matter."

That is what I meant earlier by " a sign that someone is unreliable, immature".

Someone who displays that attitude is not someone I want in my business. The tatoos and piercings speak volumes about their personal attitude to life which is 'I dont care'. If I am paying an employee, I want them to care!

It doesn't really matter whether it should be an issue or not , the fact is she is being told that she won't even get an interview if she keeps them in so she should take them out .

"Someone who displays that attitude is not someone I want in my business. The tatoos and piercings speak volumes about their personal attitude to life which is 'I dont care'. If I am paying an employee, I want them to care!"

How ridiculous and narrow-minded!

You're missing out on employing some great, talented, committed employees who happen to have tattoos / piercings.

Never mind, ultimately it's your business which will lose out if you let your prejudices get in the way of spotting talent.

you spend 37.5 hours a week at work (or that's the average) & 130.5 hours each week remain so more time off than in. I think its very out dated for work places to refuse interviews on the grounds of peiercing's. Your friend could be the most capable candidate and because she has the odd bit of metal i. her face she is refused a chance to prove it.

I have tattoos, my work don't mind but if they asked me to cover them up then I would.

I covered them up for my interview at my current job but made a point of telling my new manager that I had tattoos and asking if she perferred it if I covered them up.

DP is a manager. He's enployed loads of staff over the years with piercings, tattoos, blue hair, etc.

I do agree that neck, face and hand tattoos give a certain 'impression' though. I wouldn't judge anyone for having them but I imagine a lot of employers would.

The thing is the majority of people dress differently for an interview, you dress smarter. I went for an inhouse interview in work to get a position with longer hours. Even though Im seen there everyday looking like a scruffy brute I still dressed up for the interview, it was expected.

Whats the point if piercings if you don't have noticeable jewellry in them, btw?

I've said before on tattoo threads that it's a shame that some people base so much on appearances and don't bother to try and get to know the person underneath. That goes for employers - that's why you interview staff, if you're basing them entirely on their appearance you may as well just get them to send a photo in with their CV.

It's a doodle or a hole on/through someone's skin! You can't write them off as having a 'don't care' attitude to life based on that!

Honestly!

Some of these responses are shockingly archaic. It is not a criminal offense to have piercings or tattoos. With the exception of racist tattoos, it shouldn't matter what you look like, but how trustworthy you are, and how well you work.

I can understand that employers want to maintain a public image, and there is a desire to have an air of 'respectability'. The problem is that some institutions still consider that tattoos and piercings are not 'respectable', and it is this mindset that needs to change.

I don't even have any piercings or tattoos but I enjoy other peoples, and it is a shame that they should have to be covered up because of the small minded views of a few sheltered people who care more about upsetting a few naive, potential customers than keeping their staff happy.

"the fact is she is being told that she won't even get an interview if she keeps them in so she should take them out ."

Re. Tain. Ers.

They are just as visible as removing the piercings entirely.

She isn't stubbornly refusing to remove huge visible pieces of metal. She's minimising their appearance.

She is making an effort.

I do agree that it shouldn't matter but she is being repeatedly told that she won't get a job if she keeps them in . I don't really know what she can do if the holes are big enough to be noticed even without the jewellry in.

Also employers value flexibility - someone who is willing to be flexible for the needs of the business.

If I interviewed someone who was unwilling to take out obvious piercings, I would doubt that they would demonstrate flexibility when needed (staying late, taking on new tasks, dressing appropriately for customer facing roles etc).

A job is a contract - the employer agrees that they will pay you for doing the job in the manner that they specify. They have the right to specify your appearance (within reason) and if you decide not to comply with rules re job attire, tough - you've just deselected yourself.