To object the use of the word 'rape' in a friend's FB status?

[crazycanuck]

He used it referring to his bank account getting raped by charges from his bank. When I called him on it he said he was referring to the 2nd definition in the Oxford dictionary that defines it as to wantonly destroy. (Cue his knuckle-dragger friends coming on and cheering and back-slapping him for his cleverness). Technically he is correct I guess but I really hate the way he and his generation (he's 18 years younger than me) use that term, because I think they reckon they are being all hip and edgy by using it (he had to look it up in the dictionary to get that definition before he posted his response!) because it gets a response from what they commonly refer to as man-hating feminists. I think it's part of the problem contributing to the normalisation of rape.

Am I being oversensitive? I also hate the term 'frape', which he also uses on a regular basis.

Apologies if I seem to post and run, it being a school morning.

So it's when someone goes on your account to write x is a poo.

This is comparable to rape.

He probably used it for effect for attention and now he is getting it .Rise above it. Theoretically he is right but knew it would cause a reaction.

There was a case a while back when an MP left their twitter account open on a computer and their intern put something like "I should log out of my account so my intern doesn't twape [twitter-rape] me."

Ye gods, the storm. To do the intern justice, I gather she ended up mortified by the whole thing.

Underlines the point that it's usually just childish inappropriateness, and should be dealt with the same way that is.

ok so now i know what frape means. it is just wrong. i agree too that saying "oh i could have murdered him...." doesn't get the same response and it doesn't seem as bad but thinking about it, maybe we are slowly being desensitised to all sorts of things. people say things like i hate that or him/her etc but "hate" is also an extremely powerful word that gets bandied about.

....A frend jokingly Facebook hacking is called FRAPE?!?! REALLY?!?!
What a fucking joke. I was obviously more than right in my assertion that using the word 'rape' colloquially was to make the crime seem significantly less important.

'OMG, A boy from my bus raped me!'
'OMG, A boy from my bus fraped me!'

I actually feel kinda ill.

I hope others stand up for the Autism insults (I do) like they did 'spaz' and 'retard,' while I stand up against rape. (I refuse to put an F in front of that word ever again. )

I don't get upset when rape is shown/used in telly shows or books. But to represent an adolescent posting stupid shit on their attention seeking page?

They should be ashamed and their parents should REALLY be fucking ashamed.

I think you are entitled to object to the use of the word. You never know, at least it has made him think. Which probably gave him a headache, being unused to it :)

I also hate the word 'frape'. I have a friend who uses it a lot. Whenever she leaves her phone lying around her husband takes the opportunity to update everyone on the size of the poo she's just done. Then she qualifies it by telling us she's' been 'fraped'.

Not sure why I'm friends with her, actually

what angry said. Nowhere, other than on mn, do i encounter anyone getting het up about the use of the word rape/frape. Its just a fucking word.

I wouldn't say it gets me het up exactly. It makes me think the speaker is a dickhead.

It's one of the reasons I am very pro free speech, so you can tell who the dickheads are.

Whether I felt the need to tell the speaker my opinion would depend who they were and how much of a shit I gave about them.

frazer don't recall saying that feminism didn't exist beyond the realms of mn??????

I find people like the op, describing the boy thinking himself as hip and edgy for using it, quite frankly ridiculous and maybe a little stupid. I highly doubt the boy in question thought anything like that.

And I think he's a dickhead.

We're all entitled to our opinions about people.

Well there aren't many primarily female spaces in the media (note grazia magazine does not count) so that's probably why titty.

I use the word rape in other contexts.

I use it describe the destruction of something. For example on the phone to my mother "he (my son) raped the bloody chicken I had just cooked for the family" meaning he had selfishly torn it apart.

I think it can safely be used in other contexts without trivialising the sexual rape of women.

The word 'rape' does have multiple meanings though. And even the term 'frape' is kind of accurate, in that your facebook has been violated without consent. I understand that it can be perceived as insensitive, but to go that step further and say that it's a symptom of the evil patriarchy trying to undermine women's rights and trivialise the horrific crime of rape is taking it too far.

Language is fluid, and I really don't think some teenagers inventing a new word is going to affect how anyone sees rape tbh.

x-post daintynuts!

There aren't many words that are "just" a word - lots have cultural implications etc as well.

Nigger is a word. It sure as hell isn't "just" a word.

YANBU. I hate people using the word rape in this way. The worst I've heard was a guy on a train having some "banter" with his mates, saying "X is totally rapeable" apparently to mean she is fit

I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who used the word rape for something as unimportant as a bank charge.

You told your mum that her grandson raped a chicken?

You told your mum that her grandson raped a chicken?

Yes. That is a word in my family that has an occasional second meaning. Therefore, my mum did not think her grandson had had sex with a chicken.

I'd think someone who used the word rape to reference tearing apart a chicken was a callous nincompoop lacking some serious social skills.

And I think someone who thinks that needs to find something more serious to worry about.

What do you think someone overhearing you would have thought you meant?