To think this is a sign of the times we live in.....

[MidWeekSlump]

My daughter today was telling us about her new high school... lots of stories. Then we got to lunch, her friend gets free dinners, when they went to get dinner (which cost my daughter £2), her friend complained as she had to pay 20p extra to add to her lunch as hers is free.

She said her friend started arguing with the dinner ladies about her free dinner and being a single parent family, then went on to say she shouldn't have to pay for the drink.

My daughter said she thought her friend was being silly as it was a lovely meal for only 20p a day if she wants extras....

Am I wrong for feeling sad that my daughters friend at 11 is already pulling the whole "I'm entitled to it" attitude out of the bag????

Is the daily mail site down tonight or something?

This thread made me realise that my mum sent me to school with sliced apple sandwiches and a small plastic bottle of tap water each day for most of primary one, because she could only afford to buy a cheap loaf and a bag of granny smiths...sorry mum for complaining when all my classmates had "normal" lunches like peanut butter and jam, or cooked ham.

I went on to receive FSM for the rest of primary school, and they were lovely. We got a main meal, dessert and a choice of juice or water. We also got milk at break time, but had to pay for that. After primary four, mum said I didn't need milk at break time...

I know the system is dreadfully flawed. Take an under 25 with no kids and no disability. Entitled to jack shit. No exceptions.
Then there are the working poor, who have food poverty and have to go to food banks just to live
This thread actually made me drag DS1 out of his room and ask him questions as to whether he is adequately fed at school, gets ridiculed, or singled out. He seems happy

IMO all school dinners should be free
But then i also believe that people returning to work from benefits and/or on a low wage should get full CTB and HB unless they're definately over-housed in which case they should pay a small contribution or be encouranged to downsize

If anyone had anything to say about the idea of everyone on a low wage getting full HB/CHB, i would say 'They could be on benefits and would be getting it anyway, they're showing willing, so should the DWP'

I agree there seems to be some covert benefit bashing going on on this thread but by no means do i think its the lowest of the low. The OP could have been worded a bit better

Just got up for a cup of tea & saw the way this thread had progressed.

Utter bollocks.

I don't believe you OP (not calling troll, just think ypu're manipulating a scenario to suit an agenda). 11 year olds are not the great purveyors of reality you imagine them to be. I told many a tale to fit the expectation of the adult listener at that age.

I suggest you're hearing what you want to hear.

& what you're hearing is that your daughter's 11 year old friend, whose family is in receipt of benefits is a gobby, entitled little shit, who's no better than she ought to be & will no doubt end up with a baby at sixteen to access all that lovely, free state help TO WHICH SHE IS FUCKING ENTITLED TO.

So she can live high on the hog at the taxpayers' expense.

As an adult, I would suggest you stop listening to 11 year-olds, step away from the Daily Mail & listen to what you're actually fucking well saying.

& at the risk of a flaming myself - I actually vote Tory, I do, sorry (different discussion, different thread) but find your attitude (& that of your 'supporters') absolutely abhorrent.

You sound vile & completely without empathy or compassion for your fellows.

But that's ok, keep ticking your boxes & vilifying 11 year olds if that makes you feel better about paying your taxes.

TBH I'd be a bit ashamed of my own child if they came home from their first day at school and this was the one story they chose to recount. At the very least I might wish to address their judgmental attitudes. But then you created those attitudes, from the sound of it, OP.

You are right in that this is a sign of the times op. The this referred to of course being your ignorant attitude and your daughter's repeating of such a non event.

Do you both feel better now you have had a good moan about the fsm kid wanting a drink.

You should hang you head in shame that your dd rushed home to report this to you.

Flojo. You talk shit. Not just the text speak.

The fan kid had a drink!! Ffs there was water available. She had a choice of a snack or (I assume) a bottled drink. She choice snack! Therefore there was water available as the op stated.

At both my children's schools if you want a drink other than water it is extra whoever you are and however your meals are paid (and much more than 20p). There is water freely available both from the school and you may bring your own in (and at secondary you can bring any other kind of soft drink in too although I think they may have banned 'energy drinks' this year).

My children are allowed to buy a flavoured drink occasionally as a treat, I really don't know what other parents do but I don't think many could afford it every day.

I meant fsm not fan..

I don't begrudge a child a free meal if that is what they are entitled to, I would sympathise with a child who misunderstood and found they didn't have 20p.

However none of that excuses rudeness to an adult and I think from what we have been told the child in question was rude.

I think it's that rudeness OP is referring to.

'Thank you' take the tray and sit down. Job done.

The high school I work in, the fsm discs are worth £2.20 so kids can buy whatever they like (hot meal or rolls pasta etc) if they buy a main hot meal they can have a pudding or a drink and only a 50 p drink then. There isn't enough for both. The kitchen is only receiving 2.20 for each disc so letting the kids have whatever they please and going over the token value makes the kitchen out of pocket. (Kitchen and school are run seperatly) most kids come up from primary having had free dinner and not having to worry about top ups as there dinners are very set and there isn't the choice the high school has. Takes the year 7s quite a while to get used to it. They can't haVe dinners, pudding, snacks and drinks etc dinner discs feed them but they don't pay for them to eat whatever they fancy and plenty of it. Why should they. (Unless they are in My school and the dinner ladies are soft touches and will feed anyone and always get around payment if the kids don't have enough. They have been times I have paid from My own purse for kids to have little snacks or whatever cause some kids parents give them nothing and it makes them smile to have a treat)

I think you're being a bit harsh on the child. Maybe she didn't realise how the system works - if she's 11 presumably she's only just started at the new school a few days ago!

OP - I think you are getting a hard time.

Sayers- I have reported your post, while I don't agree with the OP, that was not necessary. I am surprised no one else has commented on it.

This thread is really awful, I am shocked at some of these comments. I think the11 year old probably didn't understand the system, but I would not be happy with my child arguing with an adult.

That poor little girl. :( What a humiliating experience for her on her first day at secondary school.

I think the kids on FSM should be entitled to whatever the other kids get. Anything else unnecessarily sets them apart. If that means no extras for anyone, then so be it.

I do think there is an issue with some of the working poor whose children are not entitled to school meals, and I would like to see more help for them. However, denying and humiliating the kids who are currently in receipt of school meals is not going to help anyone.

If my dd were ever to witness a situation of this nature, I would like to think that she might be a bit more sympathetic and supportive.

I am wondering if free school meals are next on the agenda to be cut by the conservatives and that they are looking for some public support.

What Jamie said. If this was the story either of my children came home with, I wouldn't waste time worrying about the attitude of the other child: I would re-examine my own parenting.

Your child saw her long time companion at lunch, in some sort of situation of confusion, none of us knows what her attitude was exactly, and she came home to recount it to you, because she knew you'd enjoy it and want to bitch about it, and she wants to please you.

I feel sorry for your DD, and I think you are raising her to be a gossip and a bad friend, sadly.

Some of the attitudes on this thread are awful.

This girl is 11 and she has been humiliated and embarrassed on her first day at a new school.

I used to get free school meals. There was a dinner lady at secondary that would roar at you for using the ketchup bottle as she said it wasn't included in the free meal. You weren't allowed gravy either. And she made sure the entire line heard, which wasn't at all humiliating for a shy 12 year old.

OP you're nasty.

I agree with WhatYouLookingAt

I used to get free meals. They used to call my name out so I could go up to the front and get my tickets. It was mortifying. I sed to be flippant and dismissive about it because it was humiliating and another voice saying loudly 'you are not as good as everyone else' along with the shitty second hand clothes and no holidays and no cinema or treats. Ever.

If it is a choice between 'entitled' and 'crushed' I would prefer that n 11 year old was entitled. Oh yes I would.

especially when they are in fact entitled..to free school dinners. Perhaps OP means they should be grateful for what they get and never ever dare ask for fair treatment too?

Ullena Goodness! Your post has made me realise why my mother gave me glucose sandwiches for school lunch! I did like them though.

Had my dc been in that situation with a friend, I can guarantee that she would feel nothing but sympathy and come home to tell me how unfair the situation was.

I am the working poor, single parent and have to budget very carefully for the £2 dinner money a day but I still class myself as very lucky compared to those on benefits. Having been on jsa and child tax credits for a short period, I can assure you it's a miserable existance and I take my hat off to anybody that easily manages this.

That 11yr old girl will already be missing out and not have the same advantages that a lot of her peers have. How anybody could begrudge her 20p is beyond me.

I should think it was a case of embarrassment that lead her to supposedly argue the case and I can fully understand that.

Maybe the school meals system should go back to the way it was back in the day when I was at school, a set main course and dessert with a jug of water on the table then situations like this would not happen. All the meals were well balanced meat and 2 veg etc....... No other person was ever aware of those who were on FSM therefore no 2 tier system snobbishness.

As for those of you who feel it is your God given right to pass judgement on people that are in receipt of benefits... SHAME ON YOU! You should be thinking therefore but for the grace of God go I... not one of you know what is round the corner.

"She got a free school meal but wanted more. Well the reality is that people who have to pay for school meals can't always afford the extras either."

I agree with the above.

We all have to work within our budgets in life, be that on FSC/benefits or not. There would have been plenty of children not on FSM who wouldn't be able to have both- My DC included.

It doesn't even have to be a decision based on affordability (although a lot would be). Yes i could afford more than £2 but I don't think a child needs a snack after a full dinner therefore I wouldn't want to give my child money for that. If they then choose the snack over a drink it's up to them but it is a choice they make within their budget.

In fact, even though I can afford £2 a day in theory, I still make DC take packed lunches some days as it is a lot of money per month. Is that being unfair to my DC? They think so. But it is called life. People can't always have everything in life they want.