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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this is a sign of the times we live in.....

396 replies

MidWeekSlump · 05/09/2012 23:56

My daughter today was telling us about her new high school... lots of stories. Then we got to lunch, her friend gets free dinners, when they went to get dinner (which cost my daughter £2), her friend complained as she had to pay 20p extra to add to her lunch as hers is free.

She said her friend started arguing with the dinner ladies about her free dinner and being a single parent family, then went on to say she shouldn't have to pay for the drink.

My daughter said she thought her friend was being silly as it was a lovely meal for only 20p a day if she wants extras....

Am I wrong for feeling sad that my daughters friend at 11 is already pulling the whole "I'm entitled to it" attitude out of the bag????

OP posts:
Hotcoffeeisamemory · 06/09/2012 13:04

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2198927/It-s-obscene-political-stunt-Save-The-Children-equate-British-families-starving-poor-Africa.html.

Dm link warning. Got it from twitter. (read sidebar of shame every day!)

Honestly. Fucks sake.

LurkingAndLearningLovesOrange · 06/09/2012 13:16

That article is so below the belt. Shock

Original poster
MidWeekSlump · 06/09/2012 13:23

My daughter had the same meal as the other child, except she chose the drink option instead of the extra snack, as was outlined to them. It was a one or the other choice - not both without paying extra.

OP posts:
limitedperiodonly · 06/09/2012 13:32

hotcoffee I'm stunned.

If there aren't Daily Mail articles on Britain 'wasting' aid on rich countries such as India instead of our own citizens there are definitely plenty of readers' letters expressing the same sentiment.

TheBigJessie · 06/09/2012 14:10

Let's hope, for the OP's daughter's sake, that her friend's mum isn't an MNer. Last night, that 11 year old came home to tell lots of her own stories about their first day. Those stories probably included a story of how humiliating it was at lunch. How she was sure everyone was staring at her. And her mother said, "Don't worry. It's just a misunderstanding. Don't be embarrassed tomorrow".

If I found out my daughter's friend's mother had started such a nasty thread about an eleven year old girl's embarrassment on her first day at school, I would be raging.

adeucalione · 06/09/2012 14:20

It's not a thread about an 11yo girl's embarrassment, it's a thread expressing shock that an 11yo would argue the toss with a dinner lady after having the £2 budget limit explained to her.

Fairy lea - she could have the same full meal as everyone else (meal, pudding, drink) but if she wanted the additional snack she had to swap her drink for that, and drink water instead.

spoonsspoonsspoons · 06/09/2012 14:21

Not sure why people think this is a new thing? I went to senior school 21years ago and anyone with free school meals got a token that allowed them to spend 80p. The school also recommended parents give children 80p. It was perfectly possible to get a decent meal for this amount (main plus pudding plus drink) but if you wanted that plus crisps, soft drink and a chocolate bar as well it would cost more. Seems perfectly reasonable to me.

TheBigJessie · 06/09/2012 14:25

I think it's quite clear that unrelated MNers don't see this thread that way. I don't think the girl's mother would be more impartial, do you?

TheBigJessie · 06/09/2012 14:25

I think it's quite clear that unrelated MNers don't see this thread that way. I don't think the girl's mother would be more impartial, do you?

TheBigJessie · 06/09/2012 14:27

Sorry, don't know why that double-posted then.

SoSoMamanBebe · 06/09/2012 14:28

bigjessie There is an absolute difference to standing up for yourself (which I have always done too) and trying to blag stuff for free because you feel you should be allowed to have it. That was OPs point, which she has also further commented on.

adeucalione · 06/09/2012 14:31

If the girl's mother is on MN, and if she recognises her DD, then her over-riding opinion should be that (1) she should have explained the £2 budget limit to her DD, and (2) that her DD shouldn't have been impolite and argumentative with an adult unfortunately tasked with explaining those rules to her.

daytoday · 06/09/2012 14:31

Haven't read thread, but I had free school meals when I was young. We had tokens with a monetary value on them. We could spend it all on doughnuts if we wanted. There was always enough for a meal. We could only drink water. That's all our school offered unless you had packed lunches.

Maybe its all different now.

daytoday · 06/09/2012 14:34

Sorry - didn't finish.

I think arguing with dinner ladies is rather surly and more about attitude rather than really not having enough to eat.

However, having attitude can also be a cover up for deeper issues. i know a few stroppy teens, but a couple of them have got very good reasons to be stroppy/unhappy with the world.

FurCoatSkimpyKnickers · 06/09/2012 14:36

Spoon 80p !!! You were spoilt, we got a 55p dinner tickets Grin

Got loads for it though and never felt any different from anyone else. Now that's a sign of the times.

imnotmymum · 06/09/2012 14:40

As posted before by another poster not communicated well by council.And as a point post said £1.80 the OP stated £2 is there a difference in councils? Seems unfair.

BegoniaBampot · 06/09/2012 14:40

my first school dinner was 12p, I'm officially ancient.

spoonsspoonsspoons · 06/09/2012 14:44

Yes, 80p was loads. Most people who paid for their own dinners didn't spend that much. The only difference having a token meant was you couldn't spend all your dinner money in the tuck shop!

Alameda · 06/09/2012 14:46

where do all these horrible people come from? It feels like everything is going backwards, what sort of person picks on a child who didn't know what was and wasn't included in her free school meal?

this place is crawling with bigots and fucking nasty bastards sometimes

I see the normal decent people too though

limitedperiodonly · 06/09/2012 14:52

As I read it the OP didn't witness the exchange between the girl and the dinner lady.

It wasn't just bigJessie and I who pointed out that one person's assertiveness could be another person's argument. Particularly if that person doesn't like making a fuss. I think the other person was tethersend. If I've misrepresented her then I apologise. But there were other people too.

We don't know and neither does the OP so it's unfair to say this girl was blagging something for nothing, flouting authority or the exchange is a sign that the world is going to the dogs.

Our dinner tickets were 43p as it happens. Do I get a prize for being the oldest person on this thread? BTW in my day it was okay for young people to question authority politely and even to get upset sometimes because you're young and embarrassed.

limitedperiodonly · 06/09/2012 14:54

Passes hairnet and curlers to begonia Grin

TheBigJessie · 06/09/2012 14:57

"Trying to blag stuff for free" and "impolite and argumentative" are a tad subjective, aren't they? It's a third-hand account! By hand of an embarrassed eleven year old who just wanted her friend to pay up because it was only twenty pence.

And then we have an OP who hears about an incident and immediately started thinking about entitledness. This is not an unbiased account, in any way whatsoever.

LineRunner · 06/09/2012 15:06

The OP's telling us something that she says her DD says her friend said to a diiner lady.

Hearsay with knobs on.

TheBigJessie · 06/09/2012 15:25

Quite a range in FSM throughout thread, from £1.30 to £2.00, actually.

Swipe left for the next trending thread