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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fed my PFB cookie! AIBU?

142 replies

AvoidContactWithEyes · 05/09/2012 08:12

Last night, my husband's grandmother (82) who lives with us (long story) fed crumbs of cookie to DS (you know one of those Millie's cookie things) while I had my head turned. He's 6 months and has so far only had a few spoons of pureed veg.

I snatched DS away and said can you NEVER do that again before flouncing leaving the room to calm down. Feel bad because she is lovely, DS adores her and she is elderly, but she is completely with it and knew well what she was doing (she was being deliberately sneaky about it). I was still seething over breakfast this morning. Husband thinks I should let it go.

PFB thoughts I am having (just to amuse)
Did the cookie contain nuts? What if DS is allergic?
HE COULD HAVE CHOKED!!
What else have you been sneaking him when I haven't been around?
What if it upsets PFB's tummy?
What if PFB rejects my home cooking now for all eternity
Will it have any harmful effects?

Seriously though, am really fucked off. Gah...would you be similarly annoyed if this happened?

OP posts:
featherbag · 05/09/2012 08:35

Craziness! I had to wrestle a Yorkshire pud off DS1 at 16 weeks that my nana had sneaked him, and even if he hadn't been so young he was prem so couldn't do BLW. I didn't shout at her, just mock-scolded with a smile on my face, as I knew she didn't mean any harm. You have to remember the rules are different these days as we know more - at 5 months I was apparently gnawing on bacon bones left over from my nana making soup, I didn't die!

IneedAgoldenNickname · 05/09/2012 08:40

I'd have been annoyed too, but no harm was done! An older lady (as in the Grandma not the Mum) fed my psb pre chewed biscuit at toddlers when he was less than a year old!

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 05/09/2012 08:44

I don't think yelling was the way to go however I think yanbu with nit wanting your baby to eat things right now. Whole point of weaning is that it's s slow gradual process you start with single foods and introduce new flavour after two or three days. Reason fir this us so that their tummies get uses to it and if there's a reaction you know what caused it. Yes it was only a few crumbs but that's enough to give a nut allergy child a full on attack. Lucky your baby was ok but when people interfere and start sneaking babies food you have a massive list to wade thru of potential causes.

People should respect your choices simple as. She has the rest of your ds's childhood to go treating him she doesn't have to start now. :)

WhatYouLookingAt · 05/09/2012 08:49

I think you should apologise to nan and get the hell over yourself.

FuzzzyDuckosaurus · 05/09/2012 08:51

I hate threads like this. There are kids all over the world who have no food and are dying from hunger and your throwing a hissy fit as your mil gave your baby a few crumbs. Get a grip

Original poster
AvoidContactWithEyes · 05/09/2012 08:54

Oh bore off Fuzzzy, it's really got nothing to do with it. Don't think you're the only one who gives a shit about starving children.

OP posts:
TooMuchRuddyChocolate · 05/09/2012 08:54

Yes I would be. But I've been accused of being pfb already today!

Startailoforangeandgold · 05/09/2012 08:54

UANBU to be annoyed if it was done secretly after you had asked her not to feed him anything, but an apology for a massive over reaction is called for.

Spoiling DCs is what Grannies are for, DMIL promised to, she never got the chanceSad

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 05/09/2012 08:56

Ok so what if there was honey in the cookie?????

MainlyMaynie · 05/09/2012 08:56

I opened this thread debating with myself just how young the baby would be. I wouldn't have been thrilled, but wouldn't have been openly cross with an 82 year-old, it's only a biscuit. The banana was probably sweeter, even if you don't like BLW you must know it means that babies won't choke and nuts are fine from 6 months. And babies like what they like, it won't put him off home cooking. DS recently threw a piece of pancake on the floor to get quicker access to broccolli.

Original poster
AvoidContactWithEyes · 05/09/2012 08:57

oh Christ Wheresmycaffeine, I didn't even think of that! Waaaah

OP posts:
DesperatelySeekingPomBears · 05/09/2012 08:57

Hahahaha! Just wait until your PFB can crawl... I caught 8mo DS licking my shoes yesterday... He's also sampled the dog's paw, a dog biscuit and DP's welly boot. Welcome to parenting, you can't control every single thing that goes in their mouths and, trust me, in a few months time you're going to think a cookie seems like a pretty harmless option.

DuelingFanjo · 05/09/2012 08:58

Yanbu to be pissed off but most people here do think it's ok for young babies to be given sweet things when your back is turned.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 05/09/2012 08:59

Yes nans r there to spoil kids but they can take it too far. think most if us would be annoyed that babies came home refusing tea of having been fed alternative lunches from well meaning family members.

And besides they have had their turn. What's wrong with the mum wanting to enjoy the cooking and the feeding etc

LST · 05/09/2012 08:59

YABU.

And you need to grab a grip op

honeytea · 05/09/2012 09:03

He will be crawling soon and eating spiders and licking people's shoes. YABU.

PurplePidjin · 05/09/2012 09:03

Wow Shock at all the vitriol.

Yanbu at all to be pissed off that an adult would deliberately go against both your wishes and clearly expressed medical guidance behind your back.

(Yes you are over-reacting a bit Wink)

squeakytoy · 05/09/2012 09:03

No no no, you are not being just a bit unreasonable...

You are behaving like a loon.... get a bloody grip!

TantrumsAndOlympicGoldBalloons · 05/09/2012 09:05

Do you think you over reacted OP?
I mean, personally I wouldn't have been too bothered by a few crumbs but I understand if you have just started weaning you might prefer your dc not to have cookie crumbs.
But grannies generally have different ideas!

Do you think you need to apologise for your reaction and ask her not to do it again or do you feel that strongly about what she did?

I mean, it's not for anyone else to decide what your DH should or should not be eating, is it?
But it sounds as though you feel a tiny bit guilty about your reaction. Maybe if that's true, just explain why you reacted that way and ask her not to do it again?

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 05/09/2012 09:05

Ok if this had been three or four weeks ago there woulda been a bunch of people banging on about how she should be waiting to 6m and how could she let her baby eat bits of cookies that young. But just cos he's 6m all of a sudden it's ok to be giving them scraps like a dog when he's only been eating food a week. It's up to the mum what and how he eats and although I'm sure no harm was meant by it, it's not up to family members to decide what to give him and to go against the mum.

EasilyBored · 05/09/2012 09:06

So far this morning, my 8 month old PFB has sucked on the cat's tail, refused a bowl of weetabix, sucked on the footy bits of his PJs, chewed on the corner of the rug, and yanked the phone down off the side and sucked on it. If he actually ate a cookie, I might die of happiness. Kid still can't work out how to chew and eat food.

LurkingAndLearningLovesCats · 05/09/2012 09:06

Get a grip and give granny a serious apology.

Just..Wow.

squeakytoy · 05/09/2012 09:07

"But just cos he's 6m all of a sudden it's ok to be giving them scraps like a dog when he's only been eating food a week"

pmsl at "scraps like a dog"... yes, of course, she will be giving him the bones of her lamb chops to chew on by next week!

slatternlymother · 05/09/2012 09:10

easilybored Grin I too would love a child who ate. Anything. DS is 2 next month!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 05/09/2012 09:11

I would have a nice chat with granny about it and explain why it bothered you, and make up with her, maybe apologise a bit, but I am sure she will understand.

My granny actually gave me whisky when i was that age and teething

See..it is possible to give someone advice without barking at them to "get a grip", people.