To think MNHQ were crass and unprofessional to send me a sensitive e-mail on a PC which my DH and DC have access to?

[wildswans]

Last night I posted a bulimia related thread, which received a large number of responses. Today it was transferred to Mental Health by MNHQ: no problem there in as much as they run the site and they considered that there were good reasons for doing so.

However, MNHQ have tonight sent me an e-mail providing an explanation for their actions (which I had not sought - i was a bit unhappy at the thread being moved TBH, but respected their decision). The e-mail refers to mental health issues. It was sent to my e-mail address which is that of the family PC, which my DH and DC use regularly. Very fortunately - and actually quite unusually - I happened to get to the PC before anyone read this message and deleted it - or I would have had a lot of explaining to do. I would have been mortified if my family had found out about very personal and private things - which i thought were being treated in the greatest of confidence and believing I had anonymity.

I now feel that i do not dare to risk posting anything else of a sensitive nature because it is not being treated with sensitivity and confidence. i would just say to others, you need to beware of this.

I do accept that i provided my e-mail address as a contact address, but i really think that, in a matter as sensitive as this, MNHQ could have just e-mailed me in the first instance to check whether the link was secure and/or asked me to telephone them, which I would have been happy to do.

You have to be logged in to read pms, so a DH or DC would not be able to read it.

Ha ha, it must have been really interesting Dowager

OP, you were insensitive, flippant and dismissive for the best part of that thread, and many people were revealing very personal stories of their own to try to help you see - I think it was very necessary for MN to contact you.

What Pinot said.

I can hardly believe you actually posted this.

Wherever you fill in a form and you give your email address or phone number it's implied that they can contact you on that email address or phone number.
YABU. Think twice from now on before using that email address.

Ah yes, I had one of those journo messages a while back, they don't really count.

I wouldn't mind weird PMs, but I'm obviously not popular enough. :(

Check your messages Jin

absolutely ridiculous thread, you dont want mumsnet emailing you about something, DONT POST, DONT REGISTER THAT EMAIL ADDY.

I am nervous about privacy, so I have a secret email address, linked to a secret email address, thats wanting privacy, and even then I am aware, its all too easy to be outed.

Are you one of those wired PMs now??!!

OP YABU, if you hadn't realised already. It's pretty standard for MNHQ or private messages to be emailed, I get it all the time.

Oh, and nothing is ever truly secret, online or not.

Oh, give the OP a break. Yes, it was entirely reasonable for MNHQ to contact her on the email address she had given them, but she wasn't expecting it and she is clearly shaken at the thought that her family might have read the message.

And yes, the OP was quick to dismiss the idea that she had a problem on the thread last night, but I wonder how many people readily acknowledge that they have an eating disorder when first coming to terms with that fact. Isn't denial usually a big part of the problem? The OP needs compassion, not criticism. I'm sure that the good folk at MNHQ have broad shoulders and will not be unduly disturbed by the OP's slight overreaction to their email.

OP, I hope you are ok.

Evening. Just popping by to say that we do ask everyone who joins MN to provide us with a valid email address that we can contact them on (and we do say that's why we want your email address when we ask you for it on the Join form).

Generally speaking, we don't tend to contact people by PM because we work a shift system at MNHQ which makes PMs tricky. If, for example, OliviaMumsnet PM'd you tonight and you didn't pick it up and reply till tomorrow, OliviaMumsnet would by then be off-shift and unable to collect your reply. And the rest of us would have no idea that you'd replied or what you'd said.

We're very sorry that you were upset by our mail, wildswans. We were careful to title our mail 'Mumsnet calling' and include no reference to your thread in the subject line: the last thing we'd ever want to be is crass or unprofessional.

@emsyj

But if someone private mails you, it notifies you by email doesn't it? With a link to read it? Or is that something I have actively set up and then forgotten about...?

Yes, it does - but you can opt out of the notifications, if you like.

We have a shared family email, its obvious its shared as its 'littleducksfamily [email protected]' We use it for things like ID for family dropboxes of photos to send out to multiple relatives, the RSVP address for kids party invites and for the kids to email from as although they love to email their grandparents and greatgrandparents I think they are too young (6 and 4) to have their own accounts.

I also have spam/work/real life addresses that I hand out as applicable.

I realise this must have been a shock for you but I think the email thing needs addressing.

Jinsei - having put together yesterday's thread with this one I have to say I would be more on the 'attention seeking' side of the fence than the 'poster having a hard time one'

You may be right, northern, but I'd rather err on the side of caution and give the OP the benefit of the doubt. I think the OP posted that thread last night because somewhere deep down, she knew she needed some support. I hope she gets that support.

Oh, okay. Fortunately I have a very boring life and no secrets, so doesn't matter either way to me!

Not sure such fences even exist... Isn't it all just part of one big field, so to speak? Thinking of you, wildswans, anyway.

I don't think they were crass or unprofessional and despite what you think they have shown concern for you and possibly moved the thread after being alerted by other concerned members.

I think I recall something in the terms and conditions on signing up here that all the material you post is the property of Mumsnet and that by signing up you agree to that.

In theory if they wanted to publish the OP's thread on bulimia I mean lifestyle eating in the Daily Mail then they would have the right to do so.
Not that they would of course.
But by posting here you are announcing your business to the world. That's why we have nicknames.

YABVU extremely unreasonable in fact. I have never understood why some grown up women use 'family' email accounts or even worse those with their husbands name in the title. Get your own.

YABU.

Private email accounts like hotmail or yahoo are free and totally private. Get one please.

Isn't the whole point of handing over an email/address/phone number is so that they can contact you if need be?

Therefore, it was very foolish of you to hand over a family email address. Your fault, not MNHQ.

As plenty of people have given their tuppence worth on the initial subject of your thread, I will keep silent. I doubt you need to hear it again!

In the meantime, if you haven't already set up a new email address, you should. Don't use yahoo, it has an overactive spam filter. MN could email about thread after thread, but you wouldn't realise. It's useless!

op, although i do agree with everyone else on the thread, I do understand that it must have been a shock if you hadn't expected it.

can you get a new email address and put it down to experience?

I've not read your other thread but am wondering if it would be so awful if your family had seen the message?