To think MNHQ were crass and unprofessional to send me a sensitive e-mail on a PC which my DH and DC have access to?

[wildswans]

Last night I posted a bulimia related thread, which received a large number of responses. Today it was transferred to Mental Health by MNHQ: no problem there in as much as they run the site and they considered that there were good reasons for doing so.

However, MNHQ have tonight sent me an e-mail providing an explanation for their actions (which I had not sought - i was a bit unhappy at the thread being moved TBH, but respected their decision). The e-mail refers to mental health issues. It was sent to my e-mail address which is that of the family PC, which my DH and DC use regularly. Very fortunately - and actually quite unusually - I happened to get to the PC before anyone read this message and deleted it - or I would have had a lot of explaining to do. I would have been mortified if my family had found out about very personal and private things - which i thought were being treated in the greatest of confidence and believing I had anonymity.

I now feel that i do not dare to risk posting anything else of a sensitive nature because it is not being treated with sensitivity and confidence. i would just say to others, you need to beware of this.

I do accept that i provided my e-mail address as a contact address, but i really think that, in a matter as sensitive as this, MNHQ could have just e-mailed me in the first instance to check whether the link was secure and/or asked me to telephone them, which I would have been happy to do.

I was over-sensitive and snapped at someone yesterday when they shouted my address across the chemists, so you're not on your own.

YABU. Anonymous Internet forum = Private email account.

YABU

But you probably know that already.

I think I've been sucked into a cocoon. Should I be worried?

YABU to expect a public website to know that the email address you provided is private.

YANBU to feel a little shocked and upset by the what ifs that resulted from this situation - that must have been scary.

I hope you get better soon.

Thing with pm's is that a notification goes to your designated email address too so not sure how that would help.

But I don't 'get' joint email accounts - in fact I find them utterly bizarre but thats a whole other thread which has been done before.

Has Olympia gone off-come I wonder

MNHQ own everything you post on this site. Do not mistake anonymity with privacy.

Enough information is also out there as to why shared email addresses are an incredibly bad idea.

I will honestly be bowled over if someone comes along and state like yourself they didn't realise this could be an issue.

What about banking or hospital appointments. Is it appropriate for your ds to have access to his parents emails?

I think that if MNHQ wanted to contact someone who was a new user and sent them a PM,and then the user complained about not receiving it, the general feeling would be "how were they supposed to notice the yellow envelope or know what it was for?"

@AgentZigzag

'They're mumsnet not the CIA....'

Don't be so sure...

You Might Think That.
The Secret Service Does Not Comment.

The OP is BU but I think she has probably just panicked at the thought that her family might have seen the email. I can understand that reaction tbh - she thought she was posting anonymously and was shocked to find that it could get back to her family.

OP, I think you need to think through why you're so horrified at the idea of your family seeing that e-mail. You obviously don't feel able to discuss the vomitting habit with your DH or daughters, so at some level, you do see it as a problem.

There is nothing to be ashamed of, even if you do have an eating disorder. Mental health issues are much more common than you might think, and are certainly not evidence of a character flaw.

Why don't you change your MN email address and come back? I know you've had a bad experience in the last couple of days, and you will certainly get a lot of straight talking on here. However, you'll also get lots of support and reassurance from wise, genuine people who sincerely want to help. Please think about it.

CIA
Cake Intakers Anonomous

'You Might Think That.
The Secret Service Does Not Comment.'

I'm snurking at the thought of MNHQ receiving and making phonecalls about deleted/moved threads. They'd need a hell of a lot more than Gin to keep them going through the weekend that's fo'sho.

Agreed Jinsei, really think that this is a symptom of the shock wildswans has had to the reactions to her 'every body does it' thread.

Wildswans, I hope that you can use the reactions people have had to your posts on this thread and the other... And also your defensive responses.

Like I said on the other thread, I recognise some of the way you are reacting as how I react to alcohol. Your over reaction to others, makes me realise that I am beginning to do the same and it's not a healthy response.

That must have been a shck, op.

However, I never understand people who do not have private mail accounts, I really don't. Do you knw you can set up your own private accunt for free at places like Hotmail and googlemail?

I even have 2 private mail accounts, one for friends and family, and one for the rest.

Mn have done nothing wrong imo, as your set up is unusual, and coud not have been foreseen.

I think this is about a lack of control. You were cross when people didn't agree with you last night, you were cross with MNHQ when they moved the thread and you're cross that they emailed you. You have not been in control of any of this and if there's one thing that EDs are about, they are about control.

I wish you the very best of luck - you had some good advice on your other thread.

I sympathise with the OP.

I have my own private email address of course but all our emails come into Windows Live, so there is the possibility of DH or the DCs seeing my emails, should they be nosy interested enough to wish to look. I have no problem with my DH seeing any emails I receive, however if I did post something very personal on MN, I wouldn't expect MNHQ to send me a bloody email about it!

Perhaps MNHQ could send a PM, if the subject is potentially delicate? Then you would still get a "you have a PM" email but you can open it at your leisure.

What Pinot said.

possibly MNHQ could have pm'd but no doubt that would have been unacceptable to you too.

Maybe reexamine why you would be quite so upset if that particular topic were raised with your family, however.

YABU for gods sake if you want privacy get your own account.

My emails constantly going with people PMing me...

Interesting, Dowager

Interesting, Dowager

Nobody ever PMs me.

jinsei oh it's not all nice messages! Lately I've had loony messages and someone who I suspect is a journo...

But if someone private mails you, it notifies you by email doesn't it? With a link to read it? Or is that something I have actively set up and then forgotten about...?

You're scaring me now Ivana! :o