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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to offer friend and dc a lift??

83 replies

genii · 31/08/2012 14:42

I was coming out of toddler group with ds talking to another mum and her ds (18mths). She was complaining about how far it was to walk home etc (it was a different group we normally go to as holidays).

I got the impression she was hinting for a lift, but I'd previously looked it up (when I first had dc) and thought that under 3s had to have a car seat. So I said to her "sorry, I would offer you a lift, but can't as no extra car seat" (or words to that effect.

She said "oh yeah, we'd be out of your way anyway", but seemed a bit Hmm at me.

I'm not sure what the done thing is - do people usually just ignore the car seat rule for occasional journeys? tbh I have done this in a taxi a couple of times when I had no choice but thought perhaps taxis had different rules?

I don't think I will start giving lifts even if people usually do (too nervous of it being my thought if anything goes wrong) but interested to know if I'm usual in this.

OP posts:
Original poster
genii · 31/08/2012 14:43

fault not thought!

OP posts:
WelshMaenad · 31/08/2012 14:44

I would not transport an 18 month old without a suitable car seat unless it was an absolute life or death emergency (as in, I had to get it to a hospital, not as in, it was raining).

It's her choice to attend a toddler group so far away when she doesn't drive. She could have just not gone if it was so taxing to walk it.

expatinscotland · 31/08/2012 14:45

You cannot ignore car seat rules unless you're a registered taxi. You could be fined and get points on your license, and if there's an accident, you could even wind up in criminal court.

NoToastWithoutKnickers · 31/08/2012 14:45

Is this for real?

OneOfMyTurnsComingOn · 31/08/2012 14:45

I wouldn't have done it. Unles it was bucketing down or a medical emergency or something. Just not necessary.

BIWI · 31/08/2012 14:47

Why wouldn't it be for real, NoToast? What an odd and unhelpful thing to post

SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots · 31/08/2012 14:47

taxis have different laws.
you HAVE to have a car seat. its not optional.

So, let her do the Hmm face at you. You were quite right.

tbh, i wouldnt take a lift that had been offered if there were no car seat.

MrsMangelfanciedPaulRobinson · 31/08/2012 14:49

How far away from the toddler group does she live? I probably would have just given her a lift tbh as long as it wasn't miles and miles

Trazzletoes · 31/08/2012 14:49

You are technically allowed to not use a car seat in a normal vehicle if it is for a short, emergency trip and there's no other option. Taxis are exempt from car seat requirements.

Regardless I would not take a child in my car without the necessary car seat, unless over 4 and under the 3rd child rule thingamajig. At 18 months they would be in a car seat or not in my car. I would be very Shock if someone offered my DCs (under 4) a lift without a car seat.

zandy · 31/08/2012 14:49

Why do taxis have different laws? Are you any less at risk of injury when riding in a taxi?

scentednappyhag · 31/08/2012 14:50

YWNBU, and I'm surprised she would have let her DC be in a car and risked serious injury just so she didn't have to walk.
Unless she was just having a little moan, and the Hmm face was because she wasn't hinting and was offended you thought she was? devils advocate

NoToastWithoutKnickers · 31/08/2012 14:50

Sorry for being unhelpful, but I think it's amazing that anyone would think it's alright to give an 18mo a lift without a car seat.

Trazzletoes · 31/08/2012 14:50

Zandy, no, but you can't expect a cab to carry multiple car seats around on the off-chance, or to effectively ban all families with children under 11 from taking a taxi!!!

FutTheShuckUp · 31/08/2012 14:51

What a stupid comment mrs mangle- accidents can happen whether you are travelling 100 miles or yards as can fatalities

MrsMangelfanciedPaulRobinson · 31/08/2012 14:52

You sound a real charmer, FurTheShuckUp Hmm

FutTheShuckUp · 31/08/2012 14:52

Yes I'm such a charmer caring about the safety of children, good job really as my profession requires it...

headinhands · 31/08/2012 14:53

Last time I researched it you are allowed to make short unexpected lifts with kids who don't have carseats. But if it makes you feel uncomfortable then no, don't do it.

Original poster
genii · 31/08/2012 14:54

It was maybe 1.5 miles for her to walk home (not sure exactly as only know vague area she lives).

It seems that I was right then, tbh it never would have occurred to me before that someone might give a lift if she hadn't been hinting.

OP posts:
MrsMangelfanciedPaulRobinson · 31/08/2012 14:54

You're a charmer because your response was aggressive and rude, FutTheShuckUp

FutTheShuckUp · 31/08/2012 14:55

I also think anybody who knows because they don't drive they will be using taxis has a responsibility to purchase the appropriate child restraint. Just because the law says something is ok in no way means it is 'safe'

ilovetermtime · 31/08/2012 14:55

I don't think that you were BU, but I also don't think that it would have been a heinous crime to have given her lift either like some other posters seem to. But you have to do what you feel comfortable with.

Mrsjay · 31/08/2012 14:56

you had no car seat you were quite right not to give a lift It isnt worth the risk and you being fined, when mine were that youg it was ok to jump into the back of cars for a quick lift home, that was in the dark ages though Grin

FutTheShuckUp · 31/08/2012 14:57

I said what a stupid comment. That's not rude or aggressive but a statement of fact. It is a stupid comment. Do accidents that occur in a short distance produce less injuries/deaths?

Thumbwitch · 31/08/2012 14:59

YWNBU - I wouldn't have done it without the proper seat either.

ExitStencilist · 31/08/2012 15:01

there is no "statement of fact" calling a comment stupid. It is by definition an opinion and not a fact.