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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to offer friend and dc a lift??

83 replies

genii · 31/08/2012 14:42

I was coming out of toddler group with ds talking to another mum and her ds (18mths). She was complaining about how far it was to walk home etc (it was a different group we normally go to as holidays).

I got the impression she was hinting for a lift, but I'd previously looked it up (when I first had dc) and thought that under 3s had to have a car seat. So I said to her "sorry, I would offer you a lift, but can't as no extra car seat" (or words to that effect.

She said "oh yeah, we'd be out of your way anyway", but seemed a bit Hmm at me.

I'm not sure what the done thing is - do people usually just ignore the car seat rule for occasional journeys? tbh I have done this in a taxi a couple of times when I had no choice but thought perhaps taxis had different rules?

I don't think I will start giving lifts even if people usually do (too nervous of it being my thought if anything goes wrong) but interested to know if I'm usual in this.

OP posts:
Trazzletoes · 31/08/2012 15:03

Fut let me tell you about a taxi ride I had... Hospital appointment that I couldn't get to on public transport. Having stuff done to my eye so not allowed to drive home. Likely to be there for several hours so DD (4 months) will sleep while we are there so I need a pushchair with me. I also have DS (2.5) and plenty of toys to keep him interested. How on earth am I meant to cart 2 kids, a pushchair, a size 0 and a size 2 car seat around the hospital with me. Yes, travelling in a cab without car seats is far from ideal, but I did not have enough arms. What should I have done?

Or say I was in London for the day - carting round car seats on the off chance I need a cab? Yes it's safer to use a car seat but the exemption is there because the alternative is unworkable.

FutTheShuckUp · 31/08/2012 15:10

Do what most people do- arrange someone to watch your kids whilst you have an appointment. I won't even go into the inappropriateness of having kids at an appointment having work done on your eyes

MrsMangelfanciedPaulRobinson · 31/08/2012 15:11

FutTheShuckUp, you seem like you're very angry with the world in general, but there's no need to snap at everyone who posts on this thread who mildly disagrees with you

headinhands · 31/08/2012 15:13

Fut kids getting on your nerves or something? Why so arsey?

FutTheShuckUp · 31/08/2012 15:13

Ermm if you say so mrsmangel- this is a discussion board and I'm discussing the issue

Fimbo · 31/08/2012 15:13

Sometimes people do have the most appropriate nicknames.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 31/08/2012 15:14

Jeez Fut unclench Hmm

Trazzletoes · 31/08/2012 15:15

Excuse me? I was ebf my DD and haven't lived where I am for long. I didn't know anyone who could take DS for me. Why would it be inappropriate for me to have my children there? It was basically an eye test only with eye drops to make my pupil massive (so I couldn't focus properly to drive). The appointment is so long to allow the eye drops time to work. We were only in with the Dr for about 10 minutes.

headinhands · 31/08/2012 15:17

Inappropriateness?! I raise your kettle for a pot, a black pot.

FutTheShuckUp · 31/08/2012 15:21

I don't think it's fair on anyone for kids to be at hospital appointments for several hours to be honest, the staff other patients or kids. But that's another matter. The car seat thing is an issue of safety, maybe it's not convenient to have to carry a car seat around but then the effects of an unrestrained child in a car accident arent convenient either. If that makes me a bitch uptight or whatever else you want to brand me then that's your lookout

headinhands · 31/08/2012 15:22

So people who are unable to organise childcare go without healthcare?

FutTheShuckUp · 31/08/2012 15:24

Well in a way- they wouldn't allow someone's child in the operating theatre as they couldn't find child care would they? Should that rule be changed too as it discriminates?

FutTheShuckUp · 31/08/2012 15:27

Anyway back to the issue in hand- do people really think just because something is allowed it is safe and should go unchallenged? I'm sure most of us remember the days coaches didn't have seatbelts and the reasons why that changed?

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 31/08/2012 15:33

fut I doubt anybody is advocating it as safe but in some circumstances it can be necessary.

This is why I have bought inflatable car seats for our holiday abroad this year/taxi ride to airport/extra journeys in friends cars. (called bubblebums if anybody is interested) as it personally makes me happier that they are safer. If I hadn't found these I may have put them in a taxi with no car seats (although my dcs are 5 and 7) as the thought of taking their high back boosters on holiday makes me have palpitations!

anyone else think the full moon behaviour is starting very early today

Trazzletoes · 31/08/2012 15:34

Oh don't be ridiculous. Of course it is much safer for the children to be in car seats. No one is saying otherwise. I don't use cabs regularly - only when I can't see another way round the journey. It was a risk I needed to take to ensure that I didn't go blind. Which at the time was more likely than being in a car accident, and fairly serious in itself.

FutTheShuckUp · 31/08/2012 15:36

Full moon behaviour? Well I never did- expressing a view others may not like is 'full moon behaviour'

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 31/08/2012 15:44

No fut expressing a different opinion isn't full moon behaviour but jumping on a poster who has had to put her children into a less than ideal situation (as she herself acknowledges) to get to a medical appointment and insinuating she should not be attending said medical appointment without having arranged child are for her children (because everybody has that on tap Hmm) is IMO

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 31/08/2012 15:45

^ childcare

FutTheShuckUp · 31/08/2012 15:46

Where did I jump on another poster? I challenged her, which is really the point of this board. No need to make drama which isn't there.

MrsMangelfanciedPaulRobinson · 31/08/2012 15:48

Fut, you are being the drama llama here, no one else. You haven't discussed at all. Your posts have been snappy, rude and unnecessary

FutTheShuckUp · 31/08/2012 15:50

Ha.
I'm not rising to it, don't bother. If you can't put your views across without trying to incite a bit of a drama then poor you really

Pekka · 31/08/2012 15:50

OP are you sure she was hoping for a lift? I don't have a car and I avoid talking about journeys etc as I don't want people to think I am hoping for a lift. If I can't avoid talking about not having a car or how many buses I have to take, I have to choose my words carefully so that no one would feel like I am asking for a lift. I don't like to rely on other people for transport, although I am happy with public transport. One day I do hope to own a car though.

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 31/08/2012 15:53

Pekka I doubt people will think you're angling for a lift if you happen to mention it. Don't feel you have to tiptoe around. If people offer you one they may just be being nice and not think you were angling.

I remember having to do public transport with 2 dcs under3 it's not fun. Fingers crossed you get a car soon!

TheQueenOfDiamonds · 31/08/2012 15:56

Yanbu, it would be your license the points would go on if caught, and you'd be fined.

GetOrfAKAMrsUsainBolt · 31/08/2012 15:59

Fucking NORAH another thread which has odd, unhelpful posts, sniping and rows.

Swipe left for the next trending thread