not to offer friend and dc a lift??

[genii]

I was coming out of toddler group with ds talking to another mum and her ds (18mths). She was complaining about how far it was to walk home etc (it was a different group we normally go to as holidays).

I got the impression she was hinting for a lift, but I'd previously looked it up (when I first had dc) and thought that under 3s had to have a car seat. So I said to her "sorry, I would offer you a lift, but can't as no extra car seat" (or words to that effect.

She said "oh yeah, we'd be out of your way anyway", but seemed a bit at me.

I'm not sure what the done thing is - do people usually just ignore the car seat rule for occasional journeys? tbh I have done this in a taxi a couple of times when I had no choice but thought perhaps taxis had different rules?

I don't think I will start giving lifts even if people usually do (too nervous of it being my thought if anything goes wrong) but interested to know if I'm usual in this.

I agree that children should always be in a car seat if possible, but I think the taxi exemption is right. My eldest is 4 and I think I have twice been in a taxi with one of my DDs. Both times were completely unforeseen, involving breakdowns in the public transport I planned to use. They were both in the evening, and I was several miles from home with no one I could possibly ask to collect us.

I'd be interested to know what posters think I should have done in that situation if getting a taxi was not an option?

As for the op, I completely agree and have sometimes declined lifts in similar circumstances- from well-meaning friends who don't have kids.

Its a hard one re the hospital appointments. My husbands been ill and had to go in for hospital appointments 5 days a week (a few hours each day) for a good 6 months. I utilised friends and family for child care as much as I could, but 5 days a week is stretching goodwill a bit too far. Especially when people have to work. Hence, as dh cant go to hospital appointments by himself, the children had to come to quite a few of them. Fortunately the medical staff were a lot more understanding than some people on this thread.

Life is seldom as 'black and white' as some would have us believe, sometimes you have to cope as best you can in the 'grey' .

Absolutely ajobforlife

Banning people attending hospital appointments who had their children with them would be unworkable. We don't all have families close and as many people work their just are not enough people home in the day to help out. Before my dc where at school their was one 6mth period where I had a blood test every 4 weeks 2 hospital appointments and weekly hydro. I would not have been able to get childcare for all of them. I managed all but one of the hydro to get someone to have my dd. One of them I took them with me. Baby sat in the pushchair and the big one sat and watched. They had to come with me to all the others. If my dh had had time off to look after the girls he would have lost his job

I'm disabled, and my conditions have been getting worse recently, meaning I end up using taxi's / getting a lift when I haven't been planning on it. I don't have a choice. My pain can get so bad to the point that I can't actually move. My mental health has also crashed several times when out with DS, where I've called a wonderful friend and he's come to pick us up. Not ideal, I know. I don't have a choice though. I can't go out and guarantee that I'll be fine for the journey home.

OP don't think you were unreasonable to not offer a lift, its your car, you have every right not to. Think she was a bit cheeky for hinting, tbh, even with my problems I never do.

Going to ignore the bunfight here but just wanted to say that I was told (when booking a taxi for myself and DD) the reason for taxis being exempt is because they are classed as public transport.

YANBU anyway, it wasn't an emergency so no excuse to go without a car seat for such a young child. You may well be overthinking it though and misreading her signals, she may not have been annoyed at all. Either way don't worry :)

Taxis are an exception to the rule. The rest of the time it is the law.
I wouldn't risk the potential fine or the possible injury of the child in the event of an accident, it's just not worth it, especially for a stranger.