Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to offer friend and dc a lift??

83 replies

genii · 31/08/2012 14:42

I was coming out of toddler group with ds talking to another mum and her ds (18mths). She was complaining about how far it was to walk home etc (it was a different group we normally go to as holidays).

I got the impression she was hinting for a lift, but I'd previously looked it up (when I first had dc) and thought that under 3s had to have a car seat. So I said to her "sorry, I would offer you a lift, but can't as no extra car seat" (or words to that effect.

She said "oh yeah, we'd be out of your way anyway", but seemed a bit Hmm at me.

I'm not sure what the done thing is - do people usually just ignore the car seat rule for occasional journeys? tbh I have done this in a taxi a couple of times when I had no choice but thought perhaps taxis had different rules?

I don't think I will start giving lifts even if people usually do (too nervous of it being my thought if anything goes wrong) but interested to know if I'm usual in this.

OP posts:
SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots · 31/08/2012 16:02

GetOrf I thought that too.
Its mad here atm.

Theres another one about a big dog and a big garden and trespassers. Makes me Hmm

zzzzz · 31/08/2012 16:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

witchwithallthetrimmings · 31/08/2012 16:09

OP i have been in the same situation as the other mother quite a few times. I am happy to walk miles usually but sometimes its a pain. I may have looked Hmm when someone has said she can't give me a lift as no car seat. But honestly this is because i am grumpy about having to go home in the rain not because i am hurt by not being offered a lift

EldritchCleavage · 31/08/2012 16:11

Why are people being so ratty?

Noqontrol · 31/08/2012 16:18

I probably would have given her the lift. But then I'm one of those people who takes my children to hospital appointments with absolutely no thought for others Smile

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 31/08/2012 16:19

eldritch I have no idea but I love your name!

GnocchiNineDoors · 31/08/2012 16:25

YANBU. I wouldn't offer or accept a lift which meant children being driven without a car seat. Even the 'cabs are exempt' rule is, imo, wrong. No baby, toddler or small child should be in a car without the appropriate car seat.

Again, YANBU.

Trazzletoes · 31/08/2012 16:39

So, Gnocchi, out of interest what should I have done for my hospital appointment?

FutTheShuckUp · 31/08/2012 17:02

Out of interest what would you have done if you were having surgery- childcare wise.
Not a PA dig- im just genuinely curious?

Trazzletoes · 31/08/2012 17:05

I had had eye surgery the fortnight before. DH was able to get short notice holiday from work.

FutTheShuckUp · 31/08/2012 17:11

I saw someone upthread mention blow up/inflatable car seats. They sound a good comprimise for those who have no other option but to use taxis

Trazzletoes · 31/08/2012 17:12

Also, that was emergency surgery to stop me going blind in the first place so other people who lived further away were prepared to help out if necessary and massively inconvenience themselves in order to help me out. They weren't prepared to do that for a follow up and I dont blame them for that at all.

Trazzletoes · 31/08/2012 17:13

They do sound good! Had never heard of them before today!

Trazzletoes · 31/08/2012 17:15

Although... maybe not that great

FutTheShuckUp · 31/08/2012 17:15

Nor had I, probably werent invented in my day lol

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 31/08/2012 17:23

Tazzie the ones I have are 'bubblebums' and have been safety tested to uk standards, I don't know about which but it's my compromise to no car seats, or maybe look into a trunki's boostapak, they pack away to a child backpack.

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 31/08/2012 17:24

Sorry no links on phone

zzzzz · 31/08/2012 17:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GnocchiNineDoors · 31/08/2012 17:42

Trazzle - does your infant carrier fit into your pushchair?

Either way, I still maintain the opinion that children not travel without appropriate car seats in cars.

Reschedule if not urgent and if it was that urgent, I would expect my dh to mind dcs

SoleSource · 31/08/2012 17:48

I would have probablyhad tbe same response but wouldnever hint fora lift. Not everybody thinks the same as you do.

Trazzletoes · 31/08/2012 17:51

No it doesn't, but even if it had, I would still have had to push that while keeping hold of DS and carrying his high back booster. The appointment was urgent, to ensure I didn't need further emergency surgery. DH had no more holiday left for a month and was only 2 months in to a new job so couldn't get time off and it couldn't wait.

NoComet · 31/08/2012 17:54

Preschool, reception age DCs yes in my old focus. The middle of the seat was slightly higher and the seat beaky fitted short people pretty well.

Child too small for a boaster cushion no way.

kid · 31/08/2012 17:59

Some people think the rules on travelling in cars can be ignored if they want. A friend of mine recently suggested my 10 yr old sat on my lap for a 30 mile journey as there were going to be too many of us to fit in her car with a seat each. I declined as there is no way I could do that.
My DC no longer need child seats, but they most certainly need a seatbelt each.

Trazzletoes · 31/08/2012 18:01

Kid Shock

GnocchiNineDoors · 31/08/2012 18:02

Well, we will have to agree to disagree Trazzle. In those circumstances I would see it as needing childcare in order to attend my appointment and DH would need to be off, holiday or no. Unpaod leave if needs be.