To wonder how bad it would be of me to stop bfing?

[finduspancakes]

My LO is about 3 months and still feeding hourly. Its so tiring and makes doing anything so complicated. I struggle to pump as I dont get much. Would it be selfish of me to ff? How much damage would it actually do?

Pancakes, I am sure you will get many different replies to your message.

Imo, you should do what you feel is best for you and your baby: if that is including a bottle or two of formula to make you feel less tired then that's not selfish. That's looking after you both.

Having such a young baby can be shattering. I promise you, the odd bottle to give yourself a break will not harm your child. And I say this as a mother of two who breast fed both children until they were two years old.

3 months is really good. I stopped then with my second and stopped at 3 weeks with my first as it was really hard latching him on and every feed was a battle. I felt massive relief when I stopped and I don't think it has done them any harm, but then I would say that. If you want to stop, do it gradually. But if you don't try and get some reassurance/ advice from a breast feeding counsillor. The one we had was lovely and not at all judgey. Could be a growth spurt maybe?

FF will not do any damage, lets get that stated first

As to you stopping BF, it is entirely up to you. Have you spoken to your HV regarding your problems pumping? Do you have good support from family/friends etc

You won't do damage at all, your baby just might not get as many benefits as s/he could.

But then you have to balance that against how much you are disliking bfing at the moment. If you are really hating it, then stop, it won't do any harm. Just bear in mind that ff isn't the golden answer to all your problems. Your baby may continue to take small amounts of milk and want to be fed frequently, and you will have all the preparation and warming of bottles to contend with instead.

Just drop one feed at a time and see how you get on. Combination feeding can be a good answer for many people.

Not bad at all. Do whatever makes things easier for you. I find bf-Ing at night and bottle feed during the day works for me.

Have you seen a breastfeeding counselor at all? FF wouldn't necessarily mean your baby would go any longer between feeds.

Recommend you ask for this to be moved to the feeding section, as there is bound to be an uncalled for bunfight.

how would FFing do any damage?

No damage. Perhaps fewer benefits but no damage.

As others have suggested, you could try mix feeding.

Bloody well done for getting to 3 months!

THIS IS VERY UNHELPFUL >> "You won't do damage at all, your baby just might not get as many benefits as s/he could."

Very PA.

Do what's best for both of you. HUGE congratulations on getting to three months. I managed 7 weeks and that included some bottles and plenty of crying at v painful feeds.

I'm lurking because I feel the same and lo is just 7 weeks but is feeding round the clock, i can't get him to take a bottle and I just spend all day feeding, I'm hoping it's a growth spurt but I'm contemplating giving him a bottle of formula to see if it satisfies his hunger better, really surprised at how guilty I feel about this, didn't think I would at all.

It would not be bad at all if you changed some or all feeds to formula. Don't judge yourself or let anyone else judge you if you do change. FWIW, I've never really got on with pumping, the most I managed was 3 oz once. I gave up pumping in the end as DD initially refused all bottles and I was just throwing my preciously pumped milk down the drain!

DD is now nearly 5 months and is accepting bottles of formula. I have introduced this fairly slowly and she is struggling to poo a bit now as her poos are more solid than they were when EBF. I have to admit I find feeding bottles of formula far more of a faff than breast-feeding but am due back at work next week so have no choice. Isn't there a big growth spurt at 3mo? Could it be that?

Anyway whatever you choose to do will be fine for your baby, please don't be hard on yourself if you decide to switch to bottles.

3 months was when my very frequent feeder started to slow down a bit, so it might be about to get easier! It's hard when they're feeding that often, isn't it? My DH used to leave lunch in the fridge for me, as I frequently didn't get enough time to make it! By 16 weeks I was making all the meals though, you are probably through the hardest bit. Good luck with whatever you decide.

"Damage"? None whatsoever, but you may find that switching to ff doesn't free up any of your time and you later regret stopping bf.

At 3 months I would expect a baby to go a little longer between feeds so I think it's worth seeing a bf counsellor or lactation consultant to rule out any issues about how much milk your baby is getting in one go. When ds3 was first born, he fed almost constantly and we found out around day 10 that it was down to tongue tie stopping him latching properly and getting enough milk. It couldn't hurt for you to rule out anything like that before ditching bf entirely.

If you want to switch to formula then do so, it's nobody else's business.

But if your baby is feeding hourly, it might be worth trying to get some information about the reasons why this could be happening (can't help with those sorry, perhaps tiktok can if you post in the Feeding topic) so that you can be sure that switching to formula will resolve the issues - otherwise you could end up making up 20 bottles a day which would be a faff and a half!

Well done for making it to 3 months, bf can be hard work (it was for me).

X-post with Ken .

Firstly, you must do what feels right for you and your baby and well done on getting to 3 months - that's great!

LO may be feeding so much in order to increase your supply in which case if you can hang on and take each day as it comes, that woukd be brilliant. Is the baby latching on correctly? Is her poo a good colour or is it green?

If you search for kellymom on google they are fantastic at supporting Mother's who breastfeed.

Hope you're ok.

Mothers, not mother's. I hate my iPhone lol

Could you go for mixed feeding if you really can't continue with bf 'ing. I did this with dds but ds I exclusively bf till 14 months.

Honestly I would get this moved to a feeding board. AIBU is fierce today...

In answer to your question, I couldn't pump so asked my HV about it. She said even one or two bfs a day would still benefit DS so why not think about mix feeding?

Also, I don't think a 3 mo should be feeding hourly (although it's all very long ago) so maybe you should speak to your HV first?

If she mix feeds though it will lessen her milk supply.

I tried to introduce bottlefeeding at 3 months, DS wouldn't take it! He is 5 months, I am still BFing, we are still trying to introduce bottles and sippy cups :) Good luck, hope your baby will accept the bottle.

Also, are you feeding from one or both breasts at each feed? You need to empty one boob completely if you can so the baby gets the more calorific milk.

It is factually incorrect to say that switching from BF to FF 'can do no damage' or 'can do no harm'. There are several very real risks in artificial feeding.

But equally there are very real risks in carrying on BFing when you are tired out of your mind and slowly going crazy.

It is (as ever) up to you as a parent to balance those risks and make the best decision for you and your baby.

Gnocchi, loads of things I've read, like it messing up her digestive system etc, which makes me feel so guilty for even considering it.

Plenty of wet nappies, normal poos etc.

It's been at least once an hour since birth. Growth spurts are almost constant feeding with only about 20 mins in between.