To wonder how bad it would be of me to stop bfing?

[finduspancakes]

My LO is about 3 months and still feeding hourly. Its so tiring and makes doing anything so complicated. I struggle to pump as I dont get much. Would it be selfish of me to ff? How much damage would it actually do?

Pink - don't be a sap.

Thousands of babies are admitted to hospital every year with gastric and respitory illness. These two things are much more common in ff babies because it lacks antibodies and is more vulnerable to contamination than breastmilk.

Seriously - where is your common sense?

That's not to argue that ff is not a generally safe and adequate way to feed a baby.

findus are you my doppelganger?

BFing hourly is a pain, my DD did it for ages. I got thoroughly fed up for a while but then I started making sure she stayed awake and took both boobs, and at about 12 weeks she suddenly started to go longer between feeds. Now at 6 months old she feeds about every 3 hours for 10 minutes and it's fab. Perhaps your DC will get more efficient at feeding as she gets older too. BFing meant it got easier to get out and about as I didn't need to carry formula and bottles etc.

Pumping is soooooo tedious that I wish I hadn't started but now DH loves to give DD a daily bottle so I persevere. Don't bother with it if you hate it and don't need to do it!

I'm a little surprised that a previous poster has been accused of being passive aggressive for saying that no, it won't cause damage, it just means reduced benefits.

It was a perfectly pleasant, reasonable post, addressing the emotive "damage" point and giving a factual, considerably less emotive response to a direct question by the OP.

I agree. It is highly unlikely that a baby in the western world will be damaged by FF, but it will gain fewer of the proved and possible benefits of breast milk. You need to weigh up how strongly you feel about those benefits compared with your own mental wellbeing and ability to function.

DS1 was mix-fed from an early stage and fully FF from about 4 1/2 months due to feeding problems that we never managed to resolve. DS2 was EBF to 11 weeks when an undiagnosed tongue-tie kicked in and he stopped feeding altogether. We had to introduce formula and never got completely off it (save for a couple of weeks after weaning for some reason) even though he went back to mainly BFing after he was snipped. I was gutted to have to give him formula and we tried absolutely everything to avoid having to do it. But we did what we had to do and he had mainly breastmilk for nearly 8 months.

Would I have preferred him to be EBF? Of course. Can I live with him being mix-fed? Absolutely.

I would seek out any help available before switching, if EBF is important to you, but if things really are getting bad then just make sure you are confident with what you want for you and for your baby, make the decision and don't keep looking back and wondering if you did the right thing.

Also WTF with all the mixed messages??

Like "Well done for getting this far...but it doesn't matter at all if you FF or BF."

If it doesn't matter, then why the well done?

And yes, if you can get the hang of feeding in a sling, it is completely lifechanging.

I once managed to keep DS2 latched on while climbing over a stile in the pouring rain, clutching a brolly and hauling a screaming DS1 behind me.

It was one of my finer parenting moments....

On the topic of benefits versus risks/damage:

Next time I see my doctor I intend to tell him that being a lard arse (as I am) doesn't actually carry health risks, I am just missing out on the health benefits of being slim....

Oh and it's no-one else's business but my own...as there is of course NO chance that the NHS will have to choose between my diabetes treatment and your grandmothers hip replacement...because money is infinite.

OP, do you actually want to carry on with bf? Ie do you need support to get through this early phase (which is by far the toughest, I think), or tips to help space out the feeds?

Or do you want to move to ff and need some reassurance that you aren't a Bad Mother to use formula?

pink you really don't think shops sell things that are hazardous to health?

I was in S'bury's the other day and they had not only alcohol but tobacco products....I must report them immediately.

My boobs are too big to feed in a sling as she gets suffocated.

I am going insane as I don't see anyone apart from DH.

I read Just one Bottle which said it does cause harm? If I'm wrong, please tell me though.

Families, I don't know. My head is so jumbled right now about the whole thing.

It's up to you what you do of course!

If you want to carry on bf- get a sling that you can feed the baby in- you can go anywhere then and feed on the way! Master feeding lying down so you can rest/watch TV. Reducing the amount of feeds will not make your supply go up- the frequency of feeds makes it go up. Try not feeding so often and see how it goes but it might be a growth spurt or you might have a boob monster.

3 months is about as hard as it gets. I thought about giving up some times but carried on till ds self-weaned at 3!

Ooh sorry x post! Have you tried different slings? There's loads of different types.

Funds, sorry, didn't realise our names were so similar! Would you like me to namechange?

What kind of harm are we talking about? A slightly increased risk of gastric upset? That's about the only consistently proven benefit of bf. The vast majority of bf and ff babies will have no ill effects related to feeding. The scare tactics against ff are outrageous.

Gastric issues are certainly not the only consistently found risk of FF.

Like anything, switching to FF carries risks. Sticking with BF when it is overwhelming you also carries risks.

None of this is scare-mongering.

The fact of the matter is that breast is not always best for a given mother and baby combination and FF is not risk free and cannot be guaranteed to 'do no harm'.

Read the guidelines (which represent a reasonable approximation to the sum of current medical knowledge), think about your own personal situation and priorities and make a guilt free informed decision.

ICI, do you have any links I can look at?

BFing MIGHT boost your baby's immune system.

It MIGHT lower their chances of developing asthma.

It MIGHT be less likely that they become obese in later life.

However, you could breastfeed until your DC was 15 and they still might not demonstrate the potential benefits.

But FF will not, in any way, harm your baby, make him/her less likely to become prime minister or harm the 'bond' between the two of you. What your baby needs is a happy, relaxed mother and if switching to FF will provide that, then go for it. I was like you, I was terrified I would in some way harm DS or that people in the street would judge me, but do you know what? They didn't. And he's fine.

Chandalina - there's a MASS of good quality research which suggests otherwise.

In my view ff is a massive uncontrolled experiment the true impact of which we will NEVER fully understand because of the impossibility of designing research capable of controlling for all the other things that can affect the health of individuals.

In other words, when it comes to radical dietary interventions (which is what ff is), absence of proof of harm is not absence of harm.

But that's by the by as ff is now the normal way to feed 12 week old babies in the UK, and therefore it's quite reasonable for the OP to want to do it to.

Can those of you who are insisting that bf has NO proven benefits explain why it's recommended by every single reputable health organisation in the world as a way of reducing the likelihood of hospitalisation for babies under 6 months?

Because shagmund my DB was breastfed until he was 3, and hospitalised 4 times in his first six months due to severe asthma attacks. He's also allergic to gluten. And picked up every bug going and was slow to gain weight as a baby.

By contrast, my FF DS is strong as an ox, has never had so much as a sniffle and is on the 91st centile for both height and weight.

I'm not saying that my DB proves BFing isn't beneficial, or that DS proves that not BFing is the best choice for everyone. I'm just saying that BFing is not some kind of fool proof, magic potion.

findus, I would suggest sticking with bf for now but trying some of the suggestions on getting out and about, using a dummy etc. See how you get on. Even getting out of the house for a couple of hours might be what you need to clear your head.

Then, if you are sure that you want to move (wholly or partially) to FF, you can do so being happy with yourself that it was the right thing for you and your baby.

The reason I suggest doing it this way round is that it's easier to stop bf and move to a bottle than go back to bf later on

If you don't want to do it then stop. I did 4.5 months by which time i had had enough so I stopped. My first was only bf for a week. Yes, there is all the evidence etc etc but honestly, in real life and in a developed country where you pay proper attention to hygiene formula feeding really isn't a problem. I have no idea which of my children's friends were bf and which weren't and all seem pretty healthy robust and intelligent to me.

Apologies if someone has already posted this, I haven't read all 3 pages.
If you WANT to continue then I suggest you get some support.
I've breastfed 3 babies and by 3 months there was a longer gap between feeds.
I suggest a visit to your local BF cafe or speak to a BF supporter/counsellor (not HV IMO) and ask them to check your latch.
Baby may be feeding hourly because he's not getting enough (NOT to be confused with your milk production) or is tired out from sucking with a not so perfect latch.

op do what is best for you.ignore the smug well i bf until my nipple dropped off types.the way they go on you would think you get a medal for bf your baby. mind you if there was one i would give it to my mate who is still up 4 times a night with her bf toddler....