to be fed up of being skint and feeling like a scrounger?

[wannabedomesticgoddess]

Really sick of hearing that people on benefits are lazy scroungers.

DP has done three weeks work which he hasnt been paid for. Boss called them in yesterday, expecting them to return to work even though he still hasnt paid them. We have had to sign on just to be able to eat.

The government would say "Just go get another job!"

How? Where are these jobs? DP is very qualified in a lot of different areas of work, and there isnt a single job. The woman assessing his claim wanted him to take a 20 hour pw job over an hour from where we live. So we would be paying for him to travel to work and not much else.

Its so tiring and stressful. Today we literally have £3. We have to move house at the weekend and no idea how we can do it. I am so bloody sick of hearing how lazy people are when infact they arent.

How do we make the government listen? Thats a genuine question! Are there petitions or campaigns I should support? Would writing to No.10 help?

When will this end?

didn't see all the food suggestions.
I might use some

No parents silver. I no longer speak to my whole family. Thats also on my mind everyday. Its still quite raw.

DPs parents are very kind. They have already given us their old car and are now lending money. Doesnt feel right to ask for dinner to. Plus Im not sure Im up to putting on a happy face right now.

No we have nothing for the baby. But right now we are just getting through the next two weeks and then we can worry about that.

Do you live in the midlands? I have stuff I was going to freegle, baby sleepsuits and bodysuits.

Kind of them to give you the car. They sound lovely.
I had to ask my ex pil for food and cash when I was on my own. (their son was abroad). They were lovely.
It was embarrassing but my son had to eat.

Ah....baby things! That's where you may really find Mumsnetters come into their own.....I think all I have left at the moment are muslins and baby towels- I think I have a cute little blanket kicking around too....PM me if you can use these...

Can you still get a Health in Pregnancy grant? It was specifically designed to ensure that expectant mothers get enough decent food, etc etc....except that the Government are axing it . You used to be able to claim through your midwife- definitely worth asking.

There is a maternity grant but I have to wait until my next appointment with the midwife to get that. And need it for heating oil, things for going to hospital (pjs etc) and ofcourse baby things.

Pils ofcourse are going to help too.

I am awed by all the kind offers of help (the PMs too) and I know I shouldnt be so proud, but I just dont feel right taking things off people who have worked hard for them! I really do appreciate it though. You are all so lovely!

I'm sorry that you are going through such a tough time - do you have to move this weekend?

Also I appreciate you don't want to get into debt but you're prepared to rack up a bill in advance with the solicitors , surely a couple of pints of milk and a few loaves of bread is nothing in comparison?

Most of these things were given to me and not used, I was told to give them to charity. I know you don't want to be seen as charity, but it would be helping someone. It's all in good condition. I didn't work hard for them.
If you live near me I will even bring them to you, if not courier.
PM me if you want. Do you know what you are having? Boy or Girl?

Yeah we have to move. That or be homeless. Landlords have threatened us with paramilitaries (not arsed about that) and are being generally twattish. They have been like this since we moved in. We need to move to a cheaper house.

Sorry should have updated. Solicitor is through legal aid because everyone had to sign on.

Oh no idea silver, though Im guessing boy because this baby is STRONG!! DP can see the kicks from the other side of the room. Im only 31 weeks so not like its fully grown. :o

Im in N.I!

DP has got some pizza deliveries for tonight so thats a tenner and a free pizza!!

Well enjoy your treat.

The offer is there just let me know.

:)

Do you know, I genuinely think you are both smart, resourceful people. DP going out delivering pizzas is genius (make sure you get extra toppings ). Can you see that you are exactly the opposite of scroungers?

When this happened to DH (ooh get that we've not always been scroungey scum carers - oooh we actually worked once upon a time before the kids' disabilities became overwhelming - sorry OP one of my rants) I had DS1 who was 16 mos and DS2 was about 8 weeks old.

His company actually went under though, owing 3 weeks' wages. They still expected DH to go to work right up until the adminstrators marched in. No govt money, no HB, no JSA. No help whatsoever.

In the end my HV brought us round a weeks' formula. She rang SS who gave us £50 of Sainsburys vouchers. It got us by, I used the £50 to buy stuff that would last, powdered milk, tinned stuff etc. Good job too, it was 6 weeks before we got a penny, finally got authorised JSA then had to try and get a redundancy payment out of the govt (he'd worked there 11 years).

It was hell. I really do empathise. Would it be worth asking the HV to see if SS can get you some vouchers?

Yanbu
We are on a debt management plan
Every single penny is accounted for, and will be for 12 years!
Try to enjoy small things
I find taking dog out in the fresh air helps
Also remember there are people who would love a safe, permanent home

Glad you'll be eating tonight, it's heartbreaking that people are in this situation. Deprivation is such a stressful, crushing experience and it's horrible enough for people suffering like this without having to hear ignorant nonsense about 'scroungers' in the media or idiots spouting what they read from the daily mail.

You deserve better than this and as awful as things are now, you'll get through it. Life is cyclical and this is one of the bad phases. Don't be afraid or embarrassed to ask anyone you can think of for help. See what's available from your local churches, charities (if any, I know living in the middle of nowhere doesn't present many opportunities), local politicians etc...

Hopefully your husbands boss will pay up and you will be in a better position soon.

Can you find extra jobs you or dh could do like baby sitting or dogwalking? Do you have nice neighbours where you could borrow a few eggs or a cup of flour? (pancakes?)

OP, don't be proud, please.

You're pregannat and need decent nutrition.

Try food banks, Sally Army, nearest church, mosque, synagogue etc. Tell your freinds!!!! If everyone just gave you one thing from their cupbaord to tide you over it would help (you can always make a note and pay back two fold)Remember harvest festival is coming up, most churches and schools are desperate to get rid of their collections!

We have ads up for dogwalking but cant print leaflets as the printer is out of ink so just have to hope someone sees the ads!!

Dont really know the neighbours, havent lived here long.

I know I shouldnt be proud. I dont know, Im just terrible at asking for help. Or taking it. We have got through today. We just have thurs and fri then DD wil go to her dads again and we will be moving. Im sure we can get through it. Something will come up.

It really does make me angry that his boss is acting this way. He really doesnt get what he has done. Even his own son has refused to work for no pay and that isnt enough to shake him.

SVRider - have you loooked into other options such as bankruptcy?

So sorry to hear of your plight, OP. Please will you let us know when your DP has been paid and if things are getting better?

Hope you've had your pizza this evening and you're feeling a bit better after some food. It's so upsetting that more and more people are being put in this position through NO fault of their own :(.

If you're being offered stuff, it's normally because people don't need it any more, and it's always nice to know that your baby's stuff is being used by another little baby, and not going to waste....!

That's the joy of passing clothes on, and I bet most people on this thread have accepted stuff in the past....I got given piles for DS. I even got sent a lovely dress by a MNetter after the "I have got....do you want?" thread.

i've PMed you about dd's shoes domestic. I was sent some stuff on the secret santa last year and I have been hoping I could return the karma sometime.

Hope things look up for you soon xx

How about we start a new "I have got....do you want?" thread. :)

Thank you all! We have had some pizza (and quite randomly a toffee crisp the pizza man gave DP :o ) feel much better now!

Oh I know that people dont need the stuff. I should be less proud. I gave a lot of DDs baby stuff away to people. I think we are in a bit of denial tbh. And I dont feel right taking things because once DP gets paid we will actually have a lot of money iyswim.

Honestly you have all touched me so much. I dont think I could have got through today without you all. Especially as DD isnt here to distract me!

To all the lovely people who PMd me, I only have internet on my phone and it doesnt work the best in the evenings (must be really busy) so thats why I havent replied. I will reply to you all, but it will take time as my phones so slow.

Just didnt want anyone thinking I was being rude!