to find proper real grown up life excruciatingly tedious?

[icecold]

i was really really good at being a teenager and a 20-somefink......now Ive had kids, have been in the same job career for 6 years, have been maried got divorced, have a mortgage......

Its rubbish

My life was quite transient before marriage/kids..it has been an internal battle to 'settle down'

Its crap

I dont want to talk to people about the ins and outs of child rearing/ mortgages/ pensions/ holiday destinations/ feta cheese.

In 2 years i will be in a position to be able to travel and work. would i be a terrible mother to disrupt my dcs childhoods because im bored and restless?

How the fuck do you all get through every day?

I have no desire to move house, as I hate packing and unpacking, but I do feel your pain about being a grown-up, which is different from the simple act of growing up.

As I hurtle towards 40, it sometimes seems that I'm heading for a giant wall of beige. Recently, I've stepped back from a couple of my longer-standing friendships because I was getting sick of all the constant talk of home furnishings, financial products and flattering fashion.

I just want there to be more waiting for me than good quality furniture, nights in and well-fitting bras. One of my friends has become obsessed with the bloody things. I do not care.

Now DD is a teenager and willingly sleeps in places other than our house, DH and I have started going out properly again. We have a secret bit in our wardrobe for clubbing outfits and everything. It has given our relationship a bit of a leg-up.

I've also found that working shifts quite a long way from home has allowed me to compartmentalise my life a bit - there are people at work who only tangentially know that I'm Tiny Clanger's Mum. To them, I'm Small, the one who drives the Impreza and has all the geeky music on her computer.

smallclanger

your post is really interesting-new job, where colleagues dont know you are a mother might be the way to go.....

thinking...thinking...be back later....

I agree. Had a depressing epiphany in a steamed up kitchen making a shepherds pie and watching the rain on the window two autumns ago, felt just like my mum. The tedium of it all is awful. A girl I know left with her two kids to be a diving instructor in Malta. I live for stories like that. If you've got a plan I say go for it!!!!

Go and check out the home education threads to un-scare yourself about that. It wouldn't be hours of sitting down with tedious workbooks practising your teacher voice.

Have you read The Hip Mama books? You should!

Thanks is

Have you thought of relocating to somewhere like the Scottish Isles - Egg or Muck so somewhere like that? You'd need transferable skills, as everyone does about 3 different jobs, and I don't think you get to own your own proprty as they're crofters but that "do some work, meet friends, go for walk, do a different job" thing might be more feasible.

Watch out for your children if they're teenagers though as there's less for them to do in more remote locations.

I travelled loads in my 20s and had very little mundanity and it was brilliant. Not at all bored of constant fun and hardly any responsibility.

I think you have to find what suits you. I travelled for 8 weeks as a student and lived in France for a year and that was enough for me.

I agree it is awesomely dull sometimes and all I ever do is wipe up and feed babies. However, once babies are in school I intend to go headlong into my career knowing I don't have to take any more breaks and with that I plan to achieve everything I ever wanted to, travel, publish, world domination etc. The good thing about being a grown up is you have choice, real final and absolute choice. How you choose to use that dizzy freedom is up to you!

do you know what is the MOST dull?

Paper work

fucking bank statements, receipts, Insurance, car insurance, house insurance, utility bills, council tax, reams and reams and reams of paper to be FILED!!!!!

And hours and hours and hours and fucking HOURS of price comparison and arranging..........

AAAAAAAaaaaarrrrRRRRRRRRRRggggGGGGGhhhhhHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh!

I admit paperwork is boring - but do you know what - I love the fact that it's my paperwork and under my control . I have lists. I know what comes in and what goes out. I know what I need to earn to break even.

I love being a grown up, I love being a divorced grown up even more (I've discovered!)

I'm hooked on "property porn TV" and have fantasized about every remote bit of the UK I could move to - but will probably stay here because this is my dcs home and I think having a home base is really important. Would I rather live in a fantasy cottage with fields or here, where my almost-adult DCs will want to come back with partners and grand-children ... because I'm not the only person they love and care about in this town pretty obvious as they spend most of their time with friends not me

so sorry OP, from my perspective YABU, my life as a (newly) divorced parent turns out to be pretty damn good though I reserve the right to still have fantasies about remote scottish islands with amazing views and no teenagers

I think you should do it OP - as the saying goes life is not a rehearsal (unless you are a Buddhist) and children benefit and learn from being exposed to new cultures and experiences. You will be a better parent too if you are happy and stimulated. You are obviouslt stuck in a rut at present, so climb out when you can!

The thing is, even if you move somewhere fabulous and sunny, you still have to sort car/house insurance, pay the rent/mortgage, go to parents evenings, budget, cook dinner, etc.
I used to live in Italy. It was great, but I still had to be a grown up. And TEFL for any vaguely good school often involves antisocial hours, lesson planning on weekends, and little security to base being a grown up on.

I love reading this thread! I am also a pretend grownup, and the comment about the zombies realising you are not one of them really struck home!!! My DH is also not a proper grownup!

We both have responsible jobs, but the people we work with are also mostly not proper grownups which is fab!

We also take advantage of grandparents who are proper grownups to babysit so we get time to do fun stuff without DS

I do love my DS dearly, but I would probably go more insane if I didn't have work and my funny and equally as mad DH to keep me in touch with who I really am!

Being a proper grownup must really suck!