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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find proper real grown up life excruciatingly tedious?

138 replies

icecold · 27/08/2012 21:50

i was really really good at being a teenager and a 20-somefink......now Ive had kids, have been in the same job career for 6 years, have been maried got divorced, have a mortgage......

Its rubbish

My life was quite transient before marriage/kids..it has been an internal battle to 'settle down'

Its crap

I dont want to talk to people about the ins and outs of child rearing/ mortgages/ pensions/ holiday destinations/ feta cheese.

In 2 years i will be in a position to be able to travel and work. would i be a terrible mother to disrupt my dcs childhoods because im bored and restless?

How the fuck do you all get through every day?

OP posts:
gimmecakeandcandy · 28/08/2012 00:04

God you sound like a hissy spoilt child... You want to take drugs even though you has kids you are responsible for? Grow UP.

And the constantly moving around thing, oh yes, I bet your children will be so happy they had to move around every couple of months/years because you just HAD to do it and screw how it would affect them and their stability Hmm

Really, grow up - you sound like veruca salt.

Alameda · 28/08/2012 00:05

ah maybe you need a horse then, that is always an adventure and often a challenge - hunting?

have enrolled on a fencing course so hopefully will turn out to be naturally gifted at stabbing people that and then can start a jousting club or whatever fencing on horseback might be called?

Alameda · 28/08/2012 00:07

ooh I missed the verruca salt thing

loads of people move all the time because of work and drag their children and their partners with them, especially people in the military - is it selfish of them to have families and a job like that?

Original poster
icecold · 28/08/2012 00:09

well that is the whole fucking point of my thread gimme

I dont WANT to grow up

OP posts:
Original poster
icecold · 28/08/2012 00:10

no no no no no....NOT hunting!

horse though...hmmmm...if i had more money (would your Ex finance that? Grin)

OP posts:
gimmecakeandcandy · 28/08/2012 00:11

Alameda - I don't know with regards to the moving about a lot/military etc - it does seem the people I know who moved a lot as youngsters (I seem to k ow a fair few adults whose parents were in the military!) didn't like the instability of moving all the time. Plenty of research shows a grounded childhood is good for children.

but the op does sound increibly childish with her gleeful talk of drugs...

5madthings · 28/08/2012 00:12

i moved around as a child and ut was fine.

ice if the job opportunity is good and you think you can make it eork them hi for it! i would love to take my five and go on some lomg road trips etc ie year at a time! if only i had the money.

you do not have to stay in one place just because you have children!

as for drugs...if you get a vabysutter and dont go mad tis up to you. i only have the off spliff and havent done that since i font know when, the opportunity hasnt arisen but i may nowvring a certain friend soon to arrange a chilled evening! Grin

Original poster
icecold · 28/08/2012 00:14

I like drugs gimme

i dont care if it is childish, or if you think it is childish

OP posts:
gimmecakeandcandy · 28/08/2012 00:15

Well if you don't want to grow up why on earth did you have kids? Cause guess what? Kids need a grown up to take care of them not a supposed adult who whines about being an adult and who want to be a child. Kids will eat into many of your years and you have to be the grown up for them. If you didnt want that you should have thought about what being a responsible patent means before you had kids.

Original poster
icecold · 28/08/2012 00:15

5madthings

I think a vabysutter, is probably the answer to all my problems

OP posts:
Original poster
icecold · 28/08/2012 00:16

what does being a responsible parent mean?

OP posts:
Original poster
icecold · 28/08/2012 00:17

or...i did like them....its been many many many years....

OP posts:
gimmecakeandcandy · 28/08/2012 00:18

Yes it IS childish of you to take drugs as a parent and bloody selfish and totally irresponsible too. God I despair at how many people has this kind of attitude when they are parents.

GnocchiNineDoors · 28/08/2012 00:19

I took dd to the park today and she watched me on the swings. Cheaper than drugs, and you still get a kick.

5madthings · 28/08/2012 00:20

lol.typing on my phone in bed and being disturbed by restless toddler! hope youbcan make sense of my post?! and that is a post when i havent had a drink, let alone a smoke Grin

seriously tho if we got a good job opportunity that involved travel ee eould do it :)

FreudianSlipper · 28/08/2012 00:23

i love drugs

i have not changed my mind since i have become a parent, i am not someone who is a totally different to the person i was and i hope i never will be

Original poster
icecold · 28/08/2012 00:23

gimme

Just to clarify...i dont take drugs as a parent. I might do. As someone who has taken a reasonable amount of drugs in the past, I do not think it is irresponsible; if we are weighing up risk and probability

I have friends who had children as young teenagers and who took drugs regularly. They are excellent parents and have raised lovely kids

I dont care if you despair of my attitude

OP posts:
gimmecakeandcandy · 28/08/2012 00:24

A responsible parent means different things to differed people of course but for me it means not doing certain things I did back before kids (yes, drugs being one of them) as some of the things i did and the way i lived are not compatible with the day to day running of children (!) and trying to offer a stable home for my children and being there for them to guide them and help them grow.

Of course it's bloody tedious and bloody hard and of course we need to go out and unwind and do things we enjoy away from the kids but there are limits.

Original poster
icecold · 28/08/2012 00:27

providing a stable home and guidance, are not incompatible with anything that i have suggested

OP posts:
gimmecakeandcandy · 28/08/2012 00:27

And I don't care that you don't care but I still find your immature attitude appalling and I just hope it doesn't impact on your children and how they grow up.

If you wanted to still act like a hissy child you shouldn't have had children. Children need grown ups to parent them and if you cannot see that then you has a big problem.

TheBolter · 28/08/2012 00:29

I understand. I remember there was once a thread on MN about who was a girl woman and who was a woman woman - or sometHing. whatever I do, I can't be a woman woman. I am ridiculously scatty, late for most things, crap with money, my hair is always a bit of a mess and even though I look smart for the days i work in the office, on days off I am in jeans, converse and slouchy jumpers. I can be ridiculously immature; I drink too much, smoke, swear, and have weird habits (see other recent thread about our weirdness it was v entertaining). I drive an old banger and wish I could be seen, even if for a day, in a posh sophisticated car with groomed hair and sunglasses on my head.

Lord knows I try, but I will never be a sensible Boden mum. Going freelance has massively helped my office phobia, the less time I spend in one, the happier I am.

TheBolter · 28/08/2012 00:30

Oh get over yourself gimme.

Original poster
icecold · 28/08/2012 00:30

gimme your attitude bores me shitless tbh

OP posts:
gimmecakeandcandy · 28/08/2012 00:31

Parents who take drugs regularly are NOT excellent parents - drugs are addictive and impact on a person's life not just when they are being taken but before and after. How you can think parents who take drugs are 'excellent' parents is beyond me - thank God.

They are in no way excellent - selfish yes, excellent, NO.

gimmecakeandcandy · 28/08/2012 00:33

Really, I reckon I have hit a nerve because I am so right. Yep I am right ans deep down you KNOW it.