to find proper real grown up life excruciatingly tedious?

[icecold]

i was really really good at being a teenager and a 20-somefink......now Ive had kids, have been in the same job career for 6 years, have been maried got divorced, have a mortgage......

Its rubbish

My life was quite transient before marriage/kids..it has been an internal battle to 'settle down'

Its crap

I dont want to talk to people about the ins and outs of child rearing/ mortgages/ pensions/ holiday destinations/ feta cheese.

In 2 years i will be in a position to be able to travel and work. would i be a terrible mother to disrupt my dcs childhoods because im bored and restless?

How the fuck do you all get through every day?

Ooooo bolter can you link to that thread?

hair is such a give away i reckon....I always have this kind of back parting ...proper bed-head. I cant change it. Its like myself peeking out through what ever grooming i attempt

I'll try to find it but am on pad (not going to sleep when I should be) so will find it in morning on pooter - easier that way!

gimme people who take drugs regularly are not necessarily, or even usually, drug addicts

This wasnt meant to be a thread about drugs, anyway

the friends i talk of are excellent parents and have raised lovely kids. You will have to take my word for it. Or not.

You havent hit a nerve. You just bore me.

Not quite sure what the abbreviated references towards my Internet enabled devices are all about, must be typing in a hurry!

Good thread on Spaced going on, I like to watch my Spaced DVDs when I need a little reassurance hat being a kidult is kind of ok. If it was good enough for Daisy and Tim...

Ice that comment about yourself peeking out through your grooming attempts very much made me

I've also realised I sort of like being a grown up.

Not so much that I can't appreciate a lighthearted thread when I see one though, gimme I think you may have missed the point somewhat dear!

wheres the Spaced thread?

here!

I would love to take acid again but wouldnt as the nerves worrying about a bad reaction and leaving the DDs would no doubt cause a whitey and last time that happened (pre-babies) I spent 6 hours holding my tounge so I didn't eat it .

Anyway I think you can enjoy life even with the DCs we hold ourselves back, it's a social construct and financial restraint. We intend to get enough money for a camper or a boat and fuel then we can bugger off and explore whenever we want, even in the uk finding that one different place, that one moment of running in the rain on the sand can liberate you a little.

We used to play the left/right game and will when DDs are older, get in the car, drive somewhere new and each person randomly picks left or right at each junction until you are hopelessley lost and stumble on somewhere interesting.

We do probably need to grow up a bit though, I have a career but keep opting out to try new ventures, DH is in pursuit of his own restaurant. DM and DF call us flighty and say we need to settle and get financially stable, they are probably right but then again this time next year arodney well be millionaires

softly at your tongue problem....yes, there is the fear...some things are best left in the past. Maybe a new convoluted drug, that the kids are down with?

I LOVE the left-right game. Tis the best game ever

thanks bolter I had a friend just like the raver guy. I remember being sat in a stopped mini bus with him once and he was dancing to the sound of the engine ticking over

Hmm, there's been a bit of a dose of grown-up-ness since I very responsibly went to bed. Now I'm already in work - look at me being all grown-up! Would be even more grown-up if were actually working rather than mnetting. But in a rather un-grown-up move I have forgotten my keys and can't get into my office.

Gimme I think you are being slightly hysterical. Moving around with kids is not necessarily irresponsible, kids are adaptable and adventurous. And I really don't see your problem with drugs. If you do it occasionally, with proper childcare that allows you not to need to interact with the kids till you are rested then I don't see what the harm is. Sure, drugs can e addictive, but so can alcohol and lots of things. If you take drugs responsibly and occasionally then this won't happen. Actually, I think it's fun for kids to have parents that aren't properly grown-up, as long as they can look after them properly. And there's nothing that ice or anyone ion here has said to suggest that's not the case.

ice do not get a horse! Fun and adventurous maybe, but very very grown-up. There's no way you'll be heading off abroad in a couple of years if you've got a horse!

iismum . Are you sitting on the doorstep?

DH isn't a grownup either. He's off to a meeting with colleagues, trying to stop himself shouting "ooh, cows!" when they drive past livestock.

So what was all that about last night? Did the grownups invade? I missed it due to watching Red Dwarf for ages on LoveFilm a prior engagement.

Luckily I had my ID card to get into the building, just not into my actual office room. But the secretary has turned up and let me in with her master key now.

gimme came on last night to tell us that we were all very naughty and shouldn't have children if we didn't want to be grown-ups. We said "ner-ner-ner-ner-ner" and she said she despaired of us and that she knew that deep down we knew she was right. And also that drugs are, like, bad, man. Then we went back to having fun. (disclaimer: I say 'we', but I was actually sensibly asleep throughout the whole of that part of the conversation).

I think I have regressed....at 18 I thought more like a grownup than now! I was crap at being a teenager...I was boring and unadventurous....
My 3 DC are now 20+ and I have stopped pretending to be a grown up and am being more like myself! I tell everyone its a midlife crisis! The only problem is lack of funds..I would love to upsticks and travel but earning just above mimimum wage doesn't fund that!! I was stupid enough to believe having kids young would leave me free to explore the world when I was older! bloody naive

itsa whereas I fell asleep on the sofa around 2am, after ODing on chocolate brownies and South Park and now feel like shit and am an hour late already getting dd2 to nursery

My baby daughter just crapped all over me (again). Please can I have a chocolate brownie?

See, I think my drug days are behind me for the simple reason that I cannot even handle two glasses of wine (and I'm breastfeeding The Girl Who Refused Bottles) without feeling like I'm going down with flu the next day. But I fully defend the right of other parents to get off their tits as long as it doesn't impact on the children (get a babysitter and keep your weed on a very, very high shelf, kind of thing). Apart from the legalities, I don't see why one form of getting mashed is worse than another, although buying wine is generally nicer than buying cannabis (you can stick it on the Sainsbo's order and have it delivered without having to make small talk, for a start). And weed and wine bores are about the same, if you ask me.

Right, off to neck the two pints of coffee I need to kick start the morning and without which I am not even fully human, let alone adult.

I keep trying to cash in on the benefits of being a grown up to stop the tedium setting in too fast.

I drove an hour last night to the nearest big city and spent a couple of hours in a small back room of a sweaty pub lusting after a beautiful guitarist. I'm fucked today and work will be hell but it was worth every zombie moment I suffer through today.

All made possible by my adult sized disposable income though i think i was better of at 17 living at home and driving licence. DD teaching me sleep is for the weak helps too.

I dream of selling everything I own on ebay, selling our house and going round the world with dd. Maybe we'd come back when she's a teenager without a penny to our name.

In reality I'd be homesick within 4 days and dd would miss her friends. I think my travelling days are over.

"DD teaching me sleep is for the weak"

well op - magic mushrooms are out soon and free and can be harvested during a lovely walk if lsd and the outdoors are your thang - if there are other mums who would do reciprital babysitting means you can have your drugs and take them without worry.

I think many drugs are no different to getting drunk - the only worry as a parent is their illegality and potential for getting a bad batch. Obviously doing them while in charge of the children is a massive nono.

I think Gimme is a real grownup! We'll have to keep the noise down...

OP I'm with you and I'm not. I can't be a real grownup, I CAN'T! Although from the outside I have the dullest and most conventional life of all my pre-baby friends (opera singers, comedians, directors, random move-abroad-ers), I have complete imposter syndrome and can't believe I've ended up in the suburbs with my (adored) family and the most conservative career path imaginable.

I want to move to the forest and learn survival skills and write my novel and learn to cook ancient recipes and herbal lore and raise my children in one big forest school and, and, and...

I guess the only reason I'm not 100% behind you is because I myself am the product of a peripatetic childhood, moving lots, attending no less that three boarding schools as a teenager - and it's those experiences that have made me this dissatisfied, uncomfortable imposter. My biggest wish for my children is that they feel more comfortable in their skin than I ever have.

so they are maddening, so they are ........

boaty you don't have to have lots of money to travel. As long as you don't have huge financial responsibilities at home (e.g., if you have a mortgage, you can rent your place out to cover the costs) there are solutions. For example, you could volunteer somewhere exotic with someone like VSO (though many voluntary organisations require you to pay). You could work abroad - maybe get a TEFL qualification. You could do a houseswap someone fun if you have a house to swap. Lots of opportunities - you just need to think laterally. There are some good online forums if you want ideas.

happyjusttobe - good for you. That's the sort of thing we all need to make te effort to do more often.

Holy mother of god, OP, I'm with you. Bored shitless by my life.
Both me and DP are self employed but not getting much work at the mo, so we seem to spend inordinate amounts of time in the house boring each other.
Have decided to apply for all and any jobs I can do, regardless of location, just to shake things up a bit. I need change.

termagent why three boarding schools? Surely the main thing in favour of boarding school is that it's a constant even if you're moving around?