is something evil about?

[seaofyou]

posting here because some people on relationships think I am mad? Maybe I am? Or maybe I am being provoked by something?

Background My ex is into some sort of dark stuff (he used to be obsessed by Alister Crawley when we were together which I should have looked into) and I thought it was weird he had a star ring...but now know it is an upside down one and he is a pagan high priest and refers to himself as half Goat half man (since we split as I am Roman Catholic) and I have had trouble with his past vengeful behaviours that got so bad it resulted in me needing CCTV to stop him trying to break into my home where I live with our son who has an Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Anyway he has always posted nasty stuff about me which are lies like he pays maintenance, I am evil etc...this stopped and he started writing titles of music ...some were written around times of attacking my home (so like a warning), some on dates ie ds last birthday (8) he wrote a song about Pluton's falling wall...well Pluton means son of Satan, a month ago.

I have had sightings of a man similar to ex walk past my house slowly 3 weeks ago starring at CCTV and tbh I have not slept tidy since as on edge esp at night! Also last Nov of man in car driving past slowly with jacket over face and parked outside my house only speeding off when I opened curtains to look as could see headlights of car, the weekend that the courts served him with maintenance order he owes. Spooky think was it was 11.11.11 at 11pm!

Weird things have happened in my house...I put salt around front door to keep away anything bad as advised by a MN Pagan...then 2 days after my new sofa arrived my ds who sits in same spot went to school and 15 mins later my large mirror in living room fell off wall and a larged jagged sword shape glass (2 foot high) was sticking in sofa where ds sat 15 mins earlier. That mirror had been there 11 years!

I was advised to get something for my house to soak up any evil...I bought a lovely stone fairy that was on long spike....I put it in my rubber plant pot (the soil)...my rubber plant died within 3 months and it was a healthy 23 year old plant! The fairy the wings fell off onto the floor also.

The latest music is titled 'Isis' only a few days ago, which I discovered today. I have been scratching like mad (head) for few days and have felt wary!

This is real...other MNs have seen CCTV of man (?ex hard to tell in night vision and grainy picture) and I have wittnesses to ex sitting car round corner and driving around when screwdriver dents appearred in frontdoor and outside letterbox hanging off the same time. Bearing in mind ex lives abroad!

Police wont do anything..I cant sell/move/rent out...I can't sleep!

Is their something evil about?

Please convince me I am mad it would be an easier/nicer outcome!

If you believe me...any ideas how to protect my ds and I from something that I feel is evil around?

OLKN you are one in 25 million

I feel a lot better now :)

Can I just say to all the flippant posters that Sea is a genuine poster, who has suffered with her ex partner for a long long time.

Although we might find some of the thread unbelievable her abusive ex has frightened and brainwashed her in an incredibly sick way.

SeaI can't believe this is still going on. You must be exhausted. Please go and see your GP. Please seek RL support as soon as you can. If he is breaching your privacy or any court orders call the police and show them the tape.

I agree that you should ignore his website. Block it. Reward yourself at the end of every day for not looking at it.

It's all a huge cloud of bullshit that he is trying to create to intimidate. The only thing he's correct about is being half goat. He definitely sounds that!

And what normal person describes themselves proudly as half goat ffs.

Eldritch you understand this nonsense too! My ex is a total Narc who feeds off attention.
I stupidly felt as if I was a step ahead for ds safety by checking it.
My oldest friend from school is a priest I might go and visit him down south when ds back in school as I trust him.

Seaofyou: I have seen a lot of your threads as well. Your XP is clearly a shitbag who mistreated you horribly and is still interested in causing you distress but he lives in another country. He is not going to pop up through the floorboards. Whatever nonsense he posts on the internet is totally irrelevant and harmless and pointless. It's understandable that you are frightened and confused and your mental health is suffering but you need to concentrate on your own mental health and seek help for that.

Just to let you know, I used to have a blog, and it is perfectly possible to detect the IP address and what you typed in to get to the blog. The IP address gives an approximate location, a number, and which ISP you use (i.e Virgin). If it's quite a general site, then they might not know which Virgin user in West London was looking for pink shoes, but this site will get comparatively few visitors, I guess, so he can easily see when you are checking and guess that it's you. Don't encourage him.

Reassure yourself that this man is only trying to frighten you. religions gain power through making people believe in things. don't believe in him and he will have no power.

How wonderfully appropriate your name is on this thread, Daughteroflilith!

Sea you need to sleep. Regularly. You are not coming across as being very well right now. Please see your GP. Stop looking at his website. Try to get some regular sleep. Clearly you have been through some absolutely terrible times, and I am sorry for what you've had to go through, but you need to take care of yourself properly; not sleeping will not help you. I wish you all the best and hope you feel better soon. The man's a horrible plank, don't give him brain room, take back your power Sea and look after yourself.

:o OldLady.

I have sent you a wee PM btw Sea.

Ahh thanks binfullofmaggots fab name:)

But it's ok though I understand to the not believing...I don't believe it myself looking back some days as well just horrendous! So it's cool I need to see GP re some sleeping tablets to get a routine for school.

I think if I didn't have bigger fish to fry ds/LEA/home schooling I would have cracked...all that more important stress kept me busy/distracted...I went to tribunal 10 days after they installed CCTV! Believe me that was more stressful!

I might go and see my MP when ds back in school...but I did when ex was attacking and the police sent a letter back saying they could not do anything!

yes a kid goat at that too!

Yabvu. And you need to move on. Keep away from his blog! Stop reading!

Stop faffing about with fairies on sprigs, or you will be away with the fairies soon!

You both sound like loons.

Seriously. Stick to your Catholic Faith. Google the prayer of the Archangel Michael, and pray for him to protect your home. Take olive oil. Draw a cross with oil on a wall in each room, while you pray for God to bless the room and invite God in. Finally draw a cross above your front door. To be on the safe side, ask your priest in confidence to come bless your home, dont worry about your mum, the priest will keep your confidence. Failing that, ask him to bless your bottle of olive oil.

Also, leave his website alone. It is absolutely easy to log IP addresses and see which towns hits come from, I know, I am a web developer, but anyone can do it, that's how the web works. Don't go on it. Don't feed the RL troll with cyber smarties. And get some sleep.

SGB I wish I could get ex to have ust 5 mins in a room with you and I would not have any of this nonsense ever again! You have been supportive throughout the years and so strong! Wish I was

Daughteroffilth thank you I am starting to realise the huge mistake I have made with IP addresses but all that aside yes your post/name @ OLKN

Babooshka

Kleptronic very kind thank you for kind words

Quint St Jude has been my guide...but I will try this

Sea, you got "daughterof"'s name wrong; not filth, but Lilith. Lilith was Adam's first wife, created as equal to him (I think Gen 1:1, Eve is Gen2, but I could easily be wrong). Lilith refused to bow down to Adams demands, and so she was cast out and became a demon.

Hence Gen2 with Eve being created out of Adam's rib, as an helpmeet.

Ah sorry Lilith I had a few to get me through night! I think I need glasses too! Or the tiredness?
OLKN thank you re PM

I dreamt someone kicked my door it woke me up the 'bang' but it was possibly from discussing it here last night and hopefully not a warning!
I have officially stopped looking at the website now! So glad I posted as I never would have known about IPs. Thanks all!

St Jude has more medical emphasis. Archangel Michael wards of evil spirits, and is used for protection. A small icon of Michael on one of your walls woud not hurt. Try check out shops like Pauline, a catholic shop. They are online.

Hi seaofyou, i have just read your thread and whilst I do not have a faith (humanist) i hace studied psychology for about 10 years now and a few years back i did quite a bit if reading about the placebo effect and its not so well known relative the nocebo effect. It is this that gives voodoo and black magic its powers and i believe that it is also affecting you too.

Basically the brain is such a powerful thing that suggestion can illicit a physiological response and can subliminally alter begaviour (aka hypnosis) or make you ultra conscious of things around you and because of all the suggestions made you attribute it to evil. Practitioners of the black arts are experts at this and will make appearances or place objects to feed the fear.

So what can you do? Use the brain to your advantge. Read up as much as you can about the nocebo effect. See the priest if you are an active believer and have your home blessed. Block his blog. Book some appointments with a psychologist. Not a standard counsellor or a psychiatrist but a psychologist who can help you harness the power of your mind. Have a look on www.bps.org.uk/ to find one close to you. And finally, consider a restraining order?

Hope you find peace soon x

I will get Arch angel Michael from the Catherdal shop next week thanks Quint! Didn't realise their was a Saint for this! Is their one for twunt ex's too?

newyear I am totally interested what you say and will look at nocebo! Thank you for that. However I think I have been more classically behaviourally conditioned Pavlov style? I get a gut instinct I check website...new title posted with days or hours and then I panick thinking attack is going to occour because of last years behaviours with posting and attacking! I possibly know ex's triggers more than him after all behavioural therapy is what I have done for yrs with ds and although I thought I had put the twunt on extinction I didn't know till last night that I was cyber feeding ex smarties doh!
No more cyber smarties from me
If I had no religion I would not believe it at all I guess! But my faith esp as child was very strong. Ex knows this! I guess the PTSD symptoms this has envoked makes me hypervigulant to the enviorment newyear but another MN with lots of experience last night confirmed there something going with the titles too after viewing the website for me....reassuring I am not a loon but being gaslighted or what ever it may be called in a very clever way!

Sea I think you need a psychologist too. It took years of manipulation by your ex to get you this terrified. It's going to take more than people on MN to get you out of it all. You need professional real-life support.

You can't go on long-term by focusing on one source of stress at a time. That's a short-term coping mechanism.

It's quite clear that you love your son, and you're fighting for him to get support. (CAHMS is a good idea for him, by the way.) But your health is important too! You're the only true parent your son has, after all .

By the way, no-one ever has been half-goat. Did you ever meet his parents? Was one a goat? If you didn't, please know that not only would your ex have looked drastically different, I think he'd be sterile, just like mules, which are half-horse and half-donkey. Thus, mules can't have children. He's saying stuff that he thinks makes him sound mysterious and powerful. It is actually complete bollocks.

And so is everything else he says.

Your ex sounds like a complete & total wanker. And a bully. I hate bullies!!

Stop calling him ''my ex'' - every time you think or speak of him do not use his name or the words ''my ex'' - instead use the words ''that numpty'' or ''that idiot'' - because that's what he is.

That should help you to feel less scared of him.

Put a note on your computer saying ''Do NOT check that idiot's stupid blog''.
Try 'fining' yourself - eg. give at least a tenner to charity if you do look at the blog (it's got to be enough money to make you think twice; or it won't put you off looking on the blog!!)

Then get help from the agencies listed by others above - eg. the police, GP, mental health services, priest etc.

It's easy to get paranoid about people like ''that idiot'' - i know, because i've been very paranoid in the past.

The problem is that your paranoia is based on a small amount of truth (''that idiot'' has bullied / pestered you in the past) & the rest is mainly just fear of what may (but probably won't) happen.

When you feel scared - repeat this to yourself: ''i have nothing to fear but fear itself'' - & that's the truth. Fear can make you think all kinds of irrational thoughts; you need to conquer your fear (with help); then you will feel better.

good luck x

PS: No; there's definitely no such thing as 'evil' that is out to get you. There isn't & you must keep remembering that.

If you look at the impact of witchcraft across the world, it's clear that it works only if the "bewitched" believes in it.

You need to stop believing in it.

If it helps to get a priest or white witch or evil eye charm or whatever it is you cleave to to ward it off, go for it.

I do think you need professional help though.

I wish I could find my book on Aleister Crowley to quote bits to you, sea. You would roar with laughter at the ludicrous twerpiness of it all. In fact, why not nickname the ex 'Goat twerp' and refer to him like that from now on. That'll cut him down to size.

Eldritch The Goat Twerp posted same day (anniversary) I had funeral for a very close person to me. Maybe GoatTwerp remembers that date so kicking me when on down day I don't know? He does 'dates' a lot to me so I assume this is normal behaviour!

To others I agree I need PTSD counselling this has left me traumatised. I thought GT was going to kill us both as the attacks got more frequent, aggressive to try and get into my home. CCTV will keep me safe I have to rememeber that as it has stopped the attacks since installed over year ago. Though the stalking continues...this is scary as I don't know if GT has been near except for the definite 4 or maybe 5 times being spotted since.

Anyway had a great day out...my twitchiness of the last 24hrs has reduced a bit and feel a little okish again so all good!