is something evil about?

[seaofyou]

posting here because some people on relationships think I am mad? Maybe I am? Or maybe I am being provoked by something?

Background My ex is into some sort of dark stuff (he used to be obsessed by Alister Crawley when we were together which I should have looked into) and I thought it was weird he had a star ring...but now know it is an upside down one and he is a pagan high priest and refers to himself as half Goat half man (since we split as I am Roman Catholic) and I have had trouble with his past vengeful behaviours that got so bad it resulted in me needing CCTV to stop him trying to break into my home where I live with our son who has an Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Anyway he has always posted nasty stuff about me which are lies like he pays maintenance, I am evil etc...this stopped and he started writing titles of music ...some were written around times of attacking my home (so like a warning), some on dates ie ds last birthday (8) he wrote a song about Pluton's falling wall...well Pluton means son of Satan, a month ago.

I have had sightings of a man similar to ex walk past my house slowly 3 weeks ago starring at CCTV and tbh I have not slept tidy since as on edge esp at night! Also last Nov of man in car driving past slowly with jacket over face and parked outside my house only speeding off when I opened curtains to look as could see headlights of car, the weekend that the courts served him with maintenance order he owes. Spooky think was it was 11.11.11 at 11pm!

Weird things have happened in my house...I put salt around front door to keep away anything bad as advised by a MN Pagan...then 2 days after my new sofa arrived my ds who sits in same spot went to school and 15 mins later my large mirror in living room fell off wall and a larged jagged sword shape glass (2 foot high) was sticking in sofa where ds sat 15 mins earlier. That mirror had been there 11 years!

I was advised to get something for my house to soak up any evil...I bought a lovely stone fairy that was on long spike....I put it in my rubber plant pot (the soil)...my rubber plant died within 3 months and it was a healthy 23 year old plant! The fairy the wings fell off onto the floor also.

The latest music is titled 'Isis' only a few days ago, which I discovered today. I have been scratching like mad (head) for few days and have felt wary!

This is real...other MNs have seen CCTV of man (?ex hard to tell in night vision and grainy picture) and I have wittnesses to ex sitting car round corner and driving around when screwdriver dents appearred in frontdoor and outside letterbox hanging off the same time. Bearing in mind ex lives abroad!

Police wont do anything..I cant sell/move/rent out...I can't sleep!

Is their something evil about?

Please convince me I am mad it would be an easier/nicer outcome!

If you believe me...any ideas how to protect my ds and I from something that I feel is evil around?

The magic stuff isn't real, but I think if you are RC you should make an appointment with a local priest and explain yourdistress, he will be able to help you.

Yabu. There is no such thing as magic, black or otherwise.

He is preying on insecurities he knows you have

Stop reading his blog. Why would you want to do that to yourself

There. Someone said it

Thank you LBE...that is so reassuring!

I had 12 sessions at WA (counselling) and all great no problems...then week later ds birthday and lovely music track Son of Satan...how nice:(
I stopped checking but lately I have checked since ds birthday and new title each time...with titles that seem to have a go ie last but one title was something like 'I do it because I can get away with it'
Now that can be read anyway I know! But their is something inside 'gut' telling me it is for me just like ds birthday!
Thankfully no contact for 5 yrs.
That's his name Crowley...didn't even know how his name was spelt as not interested in the man or whatever he did!
MNs have his website and seen the dark titles too!

What does Isis mean?

yes you too Pigonwall...if I get more I know I am being totally OTT and shut up again (until next incident/music).
I kinda feel prewarned if I know this was esp true at times of attacks

She's just an Egyptian goddess. Nothing to do with itching. She was good, I think.

If ancient egyptian gods and goddesses exist, they're busy looking after Egypt, and observing the Arab Spring!

YABU, and I think you should go and see a doctor. I mean that sincerely, as your posts are often full of paranoia. You need some real life professional help to get past this.

AndieM I will try it! Anything worth a go!

I would love a priest but as my mum goes to all the churches I would not dare ask a priest within 5 miles of me...as they will say 'oh I know your mum' and she will kill me LOL! (surname uncommon)

Police told me (3 weeks ago) to keep footage and if anything does happen I have previous footage of a man lingering around on other dates too.
However I stopped my CCTV OCD about 3 weeks after I got it (48hrs after it was up man standing satrring at CCTV and texting for 12 mins who had same build/haircolour etc of ex but not clear as he stood back slightly and his head was out of frame...plus CCTV men did not show me how to record onto USB pen and it got deleted after 10 days).
So don't check CCTV for a man hanging round anymore!
The man?ex 3 weeks ago was total coincidence as I walked past spare room I happened to clance at monitor and man walking v slowly past starring!

I agree with squeaky - no idea about previous post but this one is bonkers. I think some proper help would be a great idea.

Thanks TheBigJess, Eygpt aha one track was about pyramids bleeding for me...that was last year after CCTV went up...possibly major pissed he could not attack!

There was also beyond Ptah's door (I guess ex was on about my door he kept kicking!)

GP feels sorry I have a narc psychopath for an ex too!
Victim Support gave me CCTV
I have had Women's Aid outreach
Women Saftey Unit
Had to buy new front door minus letterbox as ex kept trying to get something through letter box which arson team sealed twice!
Police thought it was a joke the first attack when a bottle filled with liquid looking like a petrol bomb was outside me front door after the man(saw figure in doorway tall like ex and dark haired) kicked it and cracked all bottom panel!
Police can't do anything only offer to move me to WA refuge at the time!

A Priest would NOT say that they know your mum, or tell her. Go them to ask for help from them as a priest and they won't tell anyone if you ask them not to. It's like in the confessional, they will not speak to anyone about it (unless they wanted to, say, consult the Bishop or someone higher up, but they would discuss it with you first).

Every Crowley fan I've ever met or heard of has been a pathetic, embittered, socially unsuccessful person desperate to believe that they are special and powerful. Your ex sounds like he fits that profile perfectly.

You need to stop believing that he has any supernatural power. Because he doesn't.

I remember your threads sea going back years now isn't it?

You need to draw a line now...... Nothing bad has actually happened to you and ds has it? If he wanted to, it would have happened by now.

Stop reading his blog
Stop looking out of windows
Stop worrying.... Your ds MUST be picking up on some of this?

ahaa they have to keep confidenitiality then! I thought it was only in a confession box...ok!

I've had all the help other ways I guess the spiritual way is the only one left and hopefully help!

I did stop checking blog and was very good just doing at times I knew ex would sprout lies like ds last birthday..ibsulting stuff about me then...but he deleted it 6 weeks later..I gave it to solicitor and thread so she could see it for herself! So yeh 3 times a year!

But since ds birthday (one of 3 checks a year) something told me (gut instinct) to keep checking and music titles have been posted thick and fast since! Well the 2 others...normally doesnt post for months...he posted once he writes his best music when head is messed up because of me!? I have not seen him for 5 yrs! He possibly seen me with the stalking/attacking etc etc
So when ex posts lots like this I know something is up...esp with those titles!
He is waiting to hear if he has to pay years of maintenance back pay. So he gave his 90K job up earlier this year so I guess has more time to post and possibly on run from courts again like last time couple years ago! He will be arrested this time though I think (if caught) as they served him last Nov....

If "magick" works at all, it works by affecting the victim's behaviour and making them fearful. If you don't see his indulgent, teenage poetic posturing on his blog, it can't affect you.

Ok I need help to detach..but frightened if I do it could the next title be something like 'Here's Jonnhy' (Shinning eeek)

I had a dream he broke through the front door and slit my throat and I bled to death next day 3 witnesses saw him around the corner!

So with my 'gut instinct' says ALERT after that time with dream..I sit up and listen! I really do sense something not right (ha ok I asked for that) but hopefully someone will know what I mean?

He sounds horrible and vile. Any priest, counsellor,spiritual advisor or doctor is likely to tell you to follow basically the same course of action: protect yourself and your child by not reading his blog and allowing him into your head. Meanwhile log the RL stalking or harassing tactics and take sensible advice from police.

His darkness/negativity/fucked up ness, whatever you want to call it, is his thing not yours but by dwelling on his blog etc you are allowing yourself to become drawn in and allowing him to hurt and frighten you. You do have a choice about engaging with what he writes and fantasises about, and the stronger, sensible thing to do is NOT TO ENGAGE and give him headspace. If it helps you to envision yourself surrounded by light, or to visualise the darkness receding, or to pray or whatever then fine but honestly, the less time you spend in hurting yourself by immersing yourself in his dark imaginings, the better.

Would you invite him into your house and listen patiently to his stream of consciousness malevolent drivel? No, so why invite him into your head?

You and your child would be better doing something nice together and getting some fresh air and pleasant company. Make some nice memories together, do something ordinary and enjoyable and take back your life, walk in the sun, not the fetid swamp of some loser's lowlife imagination.

I want to echo other people, STOP looking at his blog. So what if he's posting lies about you, anyone who knows you won't believe it & who cares what people you don't know think?

I don't think he is having any sinister influence on your home, but agree get a priest to bless it to put your mind at rest.

Ignore your gut feeling to look at his blog, there's never going to be anything good on it is there? He's a twat.

I think you should speak to your GP.

Just read the wiki page for this Crowley guy. WTF? Rituals to invoke beings? 'highest order of the golden dawn'? Fucking idiots that high on drugs they had hallucinations is more like it. Never read such self indulgent fiddlesticks in my lofe

Life is not a stupid movie or bad novel.
These days will not come again, you have a choice in how you live them.
Get on with living your life safely instead of wallowing in someone else's nasty stuff. You have a child, focus on that child. Be safe. That means, stop engaging with crap and take precautions to protect yourself and your child - put up your psychological guard and step away from what you do not need to look at. And I repeat, log any harassment as harassment with the police. Then get on with living your lives again.

Nap here here!
Now how to start...any ideas when terrified and worried he has something planned...he is the type to get bored and as not working will want to cause mischeif and revenge!
So I want to detach from blog but scared if I do I will miss something..a warning in a title he has lost it etc...I guess this was my only warning and gave me the control to be prepared ie stay up until light to protect us both etc

Shit why did this happen a week after the 12 weeks counselling! Doh!

If you are religious I can see that you might be a believer in good and evil, if so go to a priest and ask them to come to the house as others have mentioned. Then go to your go and talk about how you feel.

He can't cause mischief and revenge, he's a bloke not an evil imp. If he is harassing you go to the police. Seriously you sound very unwell.

You need to stop caring about what he writes on his silly little blog about you and your son. Every time you want to have a look at what he has posted, repeat this phrase out loud "So What"

So what if he puts stupid song titles up on your DSs birthday. Your son will know nothing of it.

So what is he posts that he pays you maintenance. You know he doesn't, HE knows he doesn't.

I can guarantee you he has no supernatural ability to harm you, even if it were possible (which it's not) Paganism does not work like that, It's a very positive religion. Satanism doesn't even work like that.

Aleister Crowley was an attention seeking loon and people who "follow" him are almost always desperate, sad people with too much ego and very little potential (Just like Crowley himself).

He has no power.