is something evil about?

[seaofyou]

posting here because some people on relationships think I am mad? Maybe I am? Or maybe I am being provoked by something?

Background My ex is into some sort of dark stuff (he used to be obsessed by Alister Crawley when we were together which I should have looked into) and I thought it was weird he had a star ring...but now know it is an upside down one and he is a pagan high priest and refers to himself as half Goat half man (since we split as I am Roman Catholic) and I have had trouble with his past vengeful behaviours that got so bad it resulted in me needing CCTV to stop him trying to break into my home where I live with our son who has an Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Anyway he has always posted nasty stuff about me which are lies like he pays maintenance, I am evil etc...this stopped and he started writing titles of music ...some were written around times of attacking my home (so like a warning), some on dates ie ds last birthday (8) he wrote a song about Pluton's falling wall...well Pluton means son of Satan, a month ago.

I have had sightings of a man similar to ex walk past my house slowly 3 weeks ago starring at CCTV and tbh I have not slept tidy since as on edge esp at night! Also last Nov of man in car driving past slowly with jacket over face and parked outside my house only speeding off when I opened curtains to look as could see headlights of car, the weekend that the courts served him with maintenance order he owes. Spooky think was it was 11.11.11 at 11pm!

Weird things have happened in my house...I put salt around front door to keep away anything bad as advised by a MN Pagan...then 2 days after my new sofa arrived my ds who sits in same spot went to school and 15 mins later my large mirror in living room fell off wall and a larged jagged sword shape glass (2 foot high) was sticking in sofa where ds sat 15 mins earlier. That mirror had been there 11 years!

I was advised to get something for my house to soak up any evil...I bought a lovely stone fairy that was on long spike....I put it in my rubber plant pot (the soil)...my rubber plant died within 3 months and it was a healthy 23 year old plant! The fairy the wings fell off onto the floor also.

The latest music is titled 'Isis' only a few days ago, which I discovered today. I have been scratching like mad (head) for few days and have felt wary!

This is real...other MNs have seen CCTV of man (?ex hard to tell in night vision and grainy picture) and I have wittnesses to ex sitting car round corner and driving around when screwdriver dents appearred in frontdoor and outside letterbox hanging off the same time. Bearing in mind ex lives abroad!

Police wont do anything..I cant sell/move/rent out...I can't sleep!

Is their something evil about?

Please convince me I am mad it would be an easier/nicer outcome!

If you believe me...any ideas how to protect my ds and I from something that I feel is evil around?

No, no, stop looking at it. That is how you get free, not by following it and speculating. The bad stuff only works if you look and think about it, because you are doing it all yourself. He is not making you scared, you are making yourself scared. If you want to get free of the malignant evil presence you feel you have the power to do so immediately. By going for a walk, making a cup of tea, cuddling your child and releasing yourself from his spell right now.

Seriously, it's a trick and you are colluding with playing the trick on yourself. It only works if you look and give a shit. So stop looking.

Ta da, you are released from the bad shit and he loses all his power to hurt you with his stupid witterings.

GS can you see how or why I am frightened...total loon another MN said I agree!

But it makes me out to be the loon so can't really talk about this in RL to anyone...even on here I build it all up as hate talking about it then it all spouts out when knackered from no sleep, seen a thread whatever the trigger!
Soorry I must really piss some of you MNs off that is why I came over to AIBU to want to get a F OFF YOU LOON because now I am starting to think I deserve nothing less as all my own fault for looking!
Poor MNs on relationships must be so fed of me going on for years now!

You do understand he knows you read his blog and is intentionally posting upsetting things just for you.

Why give him the power to dictate your life like this after you made the wise choice to leave him?

Nap I agree 100% I actually did this a year Feb ago! But agreed to just check 3 times a year (dates triggers ex always post on). But this time I knew something up and yep posting more and more titles that have a twisted meaning!
Then fuel that with what if he does something again?
I have failed? I am back like an addict? Looking and checking incase he attacks...I paid a lot of money for my new front door hope he doesnt:(

I think you are scared of missing something by not checking his blog but are frightening yourself more and more when you do.

Although the logical part of me says this guy is all bullshit I think, if I were you, I'd be tempted to move away somewhere and make sure he doesn't know about it.

It DOESN'T MATTER what he writes. Sorry, I don't mean to shout, but that is important. He can write "Seaofyou wins the lottery", or anything he likes, but it will only affect your life if you READ it. If he wrote that, for example, and you saw it, you might buy a lottery ticket. Totally coincidentally, you might win a tenner 5 months later. Which wouldn't have happened if you hadn't seen what he posted, because you wouldn't have bought any tickets.

Did you know that a study found people did better in tests when wearing lab coats? You know the best way to make someone fall off their bicycle? Tell them they're wobbling.in their efforts to sort out something that wasn't there they'll make themselves fall off!

No he doesn't know I read as you can look anon not signed in...all I can bot do is post!

I once joined and posted to Ptah's Door music 'That's Kicking!' (he used to kick my front door and run off). Just to fuck his head up for 5 mins....that is when he deleted the abusive rude things about me!

"Then fuel that with what if he does something again?"

Then he will do it regardless of what you have read or not read.

I must say here that I think it's really awful that he has got you to this point, It's a bloody shame that anyone should feel like you do because of an ex.

You need to help yourself and forget about him.

Trust me he knows sea, he knows you read them.

Silly post.

Trust me sea, he knows you read them.*

Look, you are doing the equivalent of rooting through his bin and sniffing his rubbish.

You know it is self destructive and revolting.
You cachoose to stop but if you feel that is too hard then you need to get assistance to help you stop. Stop doing it for your child's sake. Tey do not deserve this sordid little drama,they deserve you, being there with them and with your head in the present and real life, doing healthy, life affirming things together. Please, step back and if you get the urge to look, tell yourself that you are doing the equivalent of sniffing his used toilet paper and picking through his rubbish. Ugh. Yuck. Don't go there. Take a deep breath and do something distracting. In time, every time you act strong and refuse to be pulled in, you will find it gets easier and easier and low and behold, you and your child will be free. Meanwhile, any crap like lurking outside,threatening or molesting your property or person, report report report and then know you have done the sane and sensible thing to protect yourselves.

Good luck. This is not a drama, it is your life and your child's life and you do not need this and you need to get out in the real world and live your lives away from the malign influence of a loser who only has power if you give it to him.

I guarantee that he knows you will keep checking that blog. If he stalks you, he will expect you to do the same.

And yes, he does know you are looking, because he will have a site visitor tracker on his blog I bet you, and your IP address comes up every time you look. In fact, I bet you are the only blog visitor he has. So by refusing to look, you win. When you look, he knows. Stop giving him that. He is only writing this shit because HE KNOWS you look. If you stop looking, then it's all over.

Isis is another name for the Thames.

Don't let him get to you, sea. Stop reading the blog.

I thought it was weird he had a star ring...but now know it is an upside down one and he is a pagan high priest and refers to himself as half Goat half man

Don't confuse paganism with this half baked nonsense. It is a tolerant, peaceful path and anyone who proclaims themselves a high priest based on such tosh as being half man, half goat, is as ludicrous as his beliefs. The works of Aleister Crowley have a lot to answer for so far as the deeply disturbed are often concerned. As someone upthread says (and it is worth repeating) Aleister Crowley was an attention seeking loon and people who "follow" him are almost always desperate, sad people with too much ego and very little potential (Just like Crowley himself).

As others have said, stop reading his blog. Clearly he has all sorts of problems. But please don't allow yourself to be drawn into his mindgames. Let alone engage his fantasies by joining the forums that he uses. Right now, he's playing power games. Don't engage. If you are genuinely concerned for your safety then involve the police. But don't, whatever you do, start thinking he has some supernatural control over you. He doesn't. In fact I doubt he could magick the skin off a rice pudding. However, if it would put your mind at rest to talk to your priest, do so. He will NOT speak to your mother and will keep anything you say confidential.

No honestly Nap..I joined their once too and ip addresses dont come up. It's not a 'blog' blog but a place musicans can post there music...like a FB more musicians I guess?OK looking at website = sniffing his wiped loo roll ...oh ghosh going to be sick! This could work? Worth trying!!

Yes cat/mouse and an endless cycle ...I had forgot and deleted him (changed numbers, stopped contact) then he started attacking my property...then the fear started after the 3rd attack and I needed control back...I think this was my only way...odd I know!

TheBigJess...he is projecting what he is doing (stalking) well it worked! How I do not know?
I guess if most of you were told your house was going to be attacked/robbed tonight ..most of you would stay up? It's a bit like that guarding what is ours and most of all keeping ds safe!

I had people here 6 days a week in past (ds home ed at time) ex would wait for tutors to leave and attack 20 mins later...poor ds knew about attacks as I had no one to have ds then whilst I spoke to police...poor ds must have PTSD.

One night not long after I had CCTV I turned monitor off as bright in room like TV all night. DS ran into room and said 'Turn the camera back on mummy or DF will kill us'

That broke my heart:(
But I don't tell ds anything...it was when police came in day after attacks (used to attack in day at first) ds I can't leave as at risk of putting things in mouth back then and choking etc

What do you mean, 'attack'?

Pand I thought that was good what other MN posted too very accurate! Obv knows a lot about Crowley! I don't only what ex told me which was he was close to Satan or something as I was not listening and not interested! God they were flags of a loon and I ignored!

oh have I spelt attack wrong sorry bad speller sorry!
Yeah 9 actual attacks but all in all 15 times now I think I have called police as sightings of him around corner/running past my house etc
Started in 2008 with fake petrol bomb and kicking front door...thankfully did not get to us! But tried 2 times with screwdriver to prise door open.
But ds disclosed 'physical' abuse/attacks by df just over yr ago which SS said I was making it up to get at ex! Ds still has flashbacks and Paed going to see if CAMHS can help him now as was saying to kids in school 'my df beat me' etc few months ago

Your IP address is almost certainly being revealed when you look at that site. I run a music website and have free monitoring software installed. People can sign up for membership but I'm the only one who has full access to the data along with anyone else I designate. I can see where people are coming from, IP addresses, and HOW FREQUENTLY THEY VISIT and how long for, what pages they view etc. I've even got a lovely interactive map which shows exactly which town or city my visitors live in.

Don't you think it's strange that the more you visit, the more posts appear?

It's not Cthulu telling your evil ex you're sniffing around, it's Google Analytics.

Crowley might have thought he was close to Satan. But he wasn't. If there's a Satan, Crowley was just another groupie to him. I always notice that Crowley followers always think they're a priest. None of them seem to see themselves as simple members of the congregation, or part of the flower-arranging committee. Nuh-uh! They're all important. Probably because it's all bollocks to make themselves feel powerful!

Catkins if a member joins your site for free can they see IP address of someone who has looked at there music who is anon?

Because ex doesn't own the site only a member so doesn't have access like you?

Tell me I am right doh!

oh yes BigJess that sounds like ex! with the loon bit you mentioned earlier!

Starting to feel a bit better about it all rereading thread!

YABVU