is something evil about?

[seaofyou]

posting here because some people on relationships think I am mad? Maybe I am? Or maybe I am being provoked by something?

Background My ex is into some sort of dark stuff (he used to be obsessed by Alister Crawley when we were together which I should have looked into) and I thought it was weird he had a star ring...but now know it is an upside down one and he is a pagan high priest and refers to himself as half Goat half man (since we split as I am Roman Catholic) and I have had trouble with his past vengeful behaviours that got so bad it resulted in me needing CCTV to stop him trying to break into my home where I live with our son who has an Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Anyway he has always posted nasty stuff about me which are lies like he pays maintenance, I am evil etc...this stopped and he started writing titles of music ...some were written around times of attacking my home (so like a warning), some on dates ie ds last birthday (8) he wrote a song about Pluton's falling wall...well Pluton means son of Satan, a month ago.

I have had sightings of a man similar to ex walk past my house slowly 3 weeks ago starring at CCTV and tbh I have not slept tidy since as on edge esp at night! Also last Nov of man in car driving past slowly with jacket over face and parked outside my house only speeding off when I opened curtains to look as could see headlights of car, the weekend that the courts served him with maintenance order he owes. Spooky think was it was 11.11.11 at 11pm!

Weird things have happened in my house...I put salt around front door to keep away anything bad as advised by a MN Pagan...then 2 days after my new sofa arrived my ds who sits in same spot went to school and 15 mins later my large mirror in living room fell off wall and a larged jagged sword shape glass (2 foot high) was sticking in sofa where ds sat 15 mins earlier. That mirror had been there 11 years!

I was advised to get something for my house to soak up any evil...I bought a lovely stone fairy that was on long spike....I put it in my rubber plant pot (the soil)...my rubber plant died within 3 months and it was a healthy 23 year old plant! The fairy the wings fell off onto the floor also.

The latest music is titled 'Isis' only a few days ago, which I discovered today. I have been scratching like mad (head) for few days and have felt wary!

This is real...other MNs have seen CCTV of man (?ex hard to tell in night vision and grainy picture) and I have wittnesses to ex sitting car round corner and driving around when screwdriver dents appearred in frontdoor and outside letterbox hanging off the same time. Bearing in mind ex lives abroad!

Police wont do anything..I cant sell/move/rent out...I can't sleep!

Is their something evil about?

Please convince me I am mad it would be an easier/nicer outcome!

If you believe me...any ideas how to protect my ds and I from something that I feel is evil around?

Funny isn't it Jessie?

It's a playground for megalomaniacs.

It's probably like a comedy sketch when Crowley followers stop posing over the internet and meet up.

"I'm in charge."
"No, I am!"
"I've been reading his books six months longer than you"
"Well, I'm HALF GOAT!"

are you genuinely concerned, or just being entertaining? looks like you're concerned from the thread, and feeling a bit better is good.

the problem here, if you?re genuine, is that your ex is a creep, not that you are have trouble with dark powers.

keep the cctv rolling and tell the police about anything suspicious. talk to to the community police officer anyway, it?s what they?re for. and tell your social worker and gp, or anyone in authority who has contact with your son, as this affects his welfare.

don?t read the ex?s blog, facebook, twitter or whatever. who cares what he posts about you? let him show himself to be deluded. ignore his secret messages.

are you still roman catholic? then you already know about the greatest power that no evil can overcome. turn to God and ignore evil. don?t be afraid of paganism, it?s a religion or belief system, it?s not harmful of itself ? just like in Christianity or any other religion, there will be some unpleasant people but you can?t blame the belief system for that.

do all the practical things like checking the doors are locked. one thing i do if there are prowlers about ? i put powder on the paths near the gate and garage. i use the stuff that makes up with cement, because i have some, but anything will do. it shows up footprints and it sticks to their shoes, gets on their clothes, they don?t like it?

i, too, put salt round my front and back door. i do it to keep the slugs out. i hope the neighbours don?t think i?m warding off evil spirits!

great scharkle another vote that hopefully this is a dream and I will wake up or come out of the shower

I know I will stop reading esp if it is true about IP address...waiting on musicwebsite OP to tell me?

I spent years ignoring the Narc not feeding him! I possibly was all the time ahhh!

:o Jessie, It would be Monty Python if it wasn't so sinister.

Sea, bookmark this thread and if you ever feel anxious and want to look at his blog you can read this instead.

This is real, his crazy ramblings are not.

Yes- I can see all visitors, whether they sign up for the forum element of my site or just read publicly available content. Also, I can designate other people as Moderators or Webmasters if they help run the site, so they'll have access to info as well.

I remember your earlier posts in Relationships. Your ex is in New Zealand isn't he? He really couldn't be further away from you unless he went to the moon.

he is a pagan high priest and refers to himself as half Goat half man

Wow. A pagan high priest AND a benefit cheat. .

I don't know why, but the thread title has got me singing:

Watch out Beadles about...you better watch out, Beadles about....

Lol @ benefit cheat

I have no clue what to make of anything on this thread

Apart from the fact it makes even me look sane.

No Cat another MN said that to be funny (not) he is across the water...3 hrs away sadly wish ex was in New Zealand! Does your site start with S and end in D?

NCG

Babooshka that is a good idea. Do I put it on 'watch this thread' not to lose it? As AIBU is super fast thread!

BigJess I don't understand...but that is because I dont understand Crowley but it sounds funny anyway!

lovebunny unless they are pagans I don't think they will know it is more than slugs! But no I am serious! I just laugh when I am frightened, scared, anxious not that you know as not with me hear in RL! I have gone 12 nights on a row with no sleep and was unable to stand or pick a cup up at the time...catching 2 hours when ds tutors arrived in morning...the 3rd time I went this ridiculous time with no sleep the night I collapsed I heard a 'clink' at 4.50an I was paralysed with shear exhaustion! I could not move and although heard it in my sleep I could not move...my mobile under my pillow will 999 on it (a great tip from a MN to help me try and sleep) was my only way I knew the time!

Next day tutor driving to my house slowly..as behind ex driving past ds old school looking out for us! Possibly to run us over or something!? When I opened the door ...the letterbox hanging off and metal plate arson team had on was bent inwards and screwdriver dents in front door again ...luckily he did not get in! I can't remember if that was my first post or a few in? I asked on relationships esrly hours 'Does anyone know where I can get a gun to protect me and my ds' I thought ex was going to get in and kill us some tome soon as had a good go! MNs had a field day calling me a troll etc..this isn't emtertainment I swear on the Holy Bible!

The PTSD and effects on my physical health alone has been huge deterioration! I have been gaslighted from an expert! My mental health has actually been quite strong as I was always 'he is not making me leave my house!' attitude...foolish or stupid maybe! But I have not actually broke and I don't think I will as I have been through worse than this in life if I can fight at tribunals for ds this is actually not too bad! As they are more frightening ...fighting for your child's health/wellbeing/furture!

I came on hear to get the feed back of pull yourself together...some MN said it in first few paragraphs (thanks) and to be told good advice that yes I am my own worst enermy...because if I am great that means ex will not try and kill us as we sleep in our beds...because that night I know that was his plan! As I said to policeman...he wasn't trying to use it to do DIY!

Now I am getting serious...and I don't like that because my fears come out!

So MNs I really needed this advice! As had a little wobble tonight!

It's the "tidy" that gives it away.

For the doubters, sea has been around for some time, and her story remains consistent.

Hope you're feeling calmer, now, sea.

Look.

You are a mother. You need to stop this looking at his site and getting all worked up business. It's not good for you or your child. He will pick p on your anxiety and you need to get a grip on yourself.

Everyone has told you to stop looking at this drivel and you need to listen.

If this was a book or a tv programme, it would not come over as exciting or dramatic, just sad and pitiful. He has a nasty side and he has problems but you are behaving in a way that is not good and whilst you are saying it's because you need to know about danger, actually all you are doing is making your life miserable and by extension, that of your child.

Try and drop it, for the sake of your health and your sanity and that of your child. It can't be fun having a mother who is over wrought and anxious and stressed because she keeps looking at a stupid website and getting herself worked up when she could avoid doing so.

It is, as I said,the equivalent of going through his rubbish and sniffing his used toilet paper. It is not healthy and it is not helping, it is harmful and destructive and sordid.

You can choose to to do it and you should not do it. Get help if you can't, because no good will come of it. No good at all. And much of this stress is avoidable. Nobody is making you look, and everyone thinks you should stop looking and look after yourself better.

I dont doubt what she is going though. I do think she needs to see someone about her mental health though. It cant be good for her son when his mother is in this state.

Leave the house then its only. Bricks and mortar. That's a practical earthboun thing you can do. Fuck being stubborn.

Yup, yup Sea, just click "watch this thread".

:)

Are you having any help with your anxiety? I take your posts as face value but as others have suggested you do sound like you need some help dealing with what has happened to you.

seaofyou - is there a relative you and your ds could stay with?
keep on telling the police and other involved agencies. check you are fully protected - the fire service might have someone who can come round to check.
do you have any friends among your neighbours?

i wish you better times. do everything you can to make things right for you and your ds. focus on your own religion. stop looking at what the ex does. involve authorities. there are court orders that can say he shouldn't come too near the house - have you looked into that? i'm sorry, i don't know the backstory. but i do know what it is like to be scared and not to feel safe in your own home.

good luck.

squeak I always come on here! So I don't get that going into a state with ds...neither does he know I am up half the night! One thing I am with ds is calm as have to be and trained in it for ds! Anxiety etc trigger for our dc and I reduce, remove them etc I get my counselling here iygwim! Just as good and excellant advice!

Nap I was only checking it 3 times a yr and not anxious until ds birthday...3 times I checked it in 5 weeks which yes is a lot...but not every day! We have a looming case that could be decided anyday (except it should have been decided in March time) and courts are trying to chase it up except possibly closed for summer. Let's say if ex is told he has to pay I will have to watch our backs! Ex is possibly trying to freak me out then if he knows I have been on the website and can read my IP address which yes if he can I am shocked and did not know! So I am natually awaiting a tense decision! However ex has given job up so might not be as tense as I thought if he does not have to pay then!

Trouble is if courts decide in ds favor then ex will be out for revenge! I do hope the courts rememebr to tell me? They are aware of the DV issue.

24 I have been told by WA counsellor and experienced DV MNs here that moving will not solve it! Plus I can't afford to walk away from paying 16 yrs into a mortgage! O have no money to move, can't rent it due to current circumstances. Plus houses are not selling identical house to ne been up over 2 yrs few houses down! But yes I would love move if I could

Don't move, go and see a GP, seriously.

Yes Babooshka gp gave me some valium 2 weeks ago...but that has gone now as only 10 days worth. Still not sleeping well after what happened 3 weeks ago.

thank you lovebunny for that but sadly I have no one. My mum who is elderly lives with my sister whom we have not spoken since she and my ex went to ds school 5 yrs ago to report me. Long story my sis made me take on her lazy ds as a tutor he left...she blamed me used ex to help get back at me! My mum is my best friend and we out today shopping for ds school shoes...but she needs a home and cant manage stairs etc I worry this could kill her off as she worries...I told her about ex after victim support gave me cctv

However I have a MN here who will travel over 400 miles the weekend ex is served to stay with me for 2 weekends(this is when ex strikes normally)...I am welcome to her house too (but ds and I allergic to dogs sadly) and another MN also offered us a safe haven but again we cant stay with dogs. I have met the most kindest, caring people here willing to help even though I have never actually meet them...puts shame on my family and that of ex and his parents!

OLKN didn't see you their :)
I am still waiting!
But as you know I have not forgotten

I haven't forgotten either, sea. Take care.

OP, Aleister Crowley was an utter twit who ended his life a complete failure. The people who follow him are the same, sad little men who dream of having power. In fact, the only power they ever get is the power we give them by paying attention to them.

Try try try to detach from your ex. Don't read the vile blog, surround yourself with nice people, make sure you don't get isolated. And do reach out to a priest to talk things through.