WWYD..??? handyman with nutty ex partner causing problems!!...

[whatthewhatthebleep]

So...I have this neighbour..don't know her very well (just as a neighbour)but had an idea she was a bit of a drama queen (big mouth and critisizm of others sort of way about her, a bit gossipy, etc)...anyway her ex is an experienced joiner and handyman and I asked if he might be interested in doing some work I needed help with to decorate my house, etc....made a list (the main things I wanted doing) and he agreed a price and started the work...great...all going well...nice chap and all that and I'm very happy with the work he's done....

anyway, he did some extra stuff needed and I had written a new list for these things to keep track and work out a price to add on, etc

I get a text from the neighbour (his ex) saying I'm taking the piss!!! and I'm 'making' him do extra work, etc and he wants his bloody money and won't be doing anymore of the work!!!!.....
I text back that I have no intention of ripping him off and have kept a note of things and of course will be paying more than the original price, etc....

This fell on deaf ears and she has threatened me and my property!!!!
I am single with my DS so became quite nervous about this
I spoke to the local police...they advised that I should meet and pay this guy in a public place and get him to sign a receipt to prove I have paid him and that it is settled and both parties are happy.....I'm thinking yes this is great advice, the police gave me an incident reference and to phone back if I have any problems....I felt better about things then

I sent him a text to explain I would have his money for him today...a receipt for him to sign for the payment and just let me know where and what time he wanted to meet me somewhere

He refuses to sign the receipt and told me to 'forget it and keep my money'...he can't sign anything because he is unemployed and should not be working and not declaring it.....well the police said do not pay him without getting a receipt as you can't then prove you have paid and it could cause more trouble for me with these people.....denying payment and whatever hassle.....

What to do???.....sitting thinking about this and have now had a note put through my door by 1 of them.....apparently she is sending her son round to my house tomorrow?? and I better have this money for him.....[OMG!!!]

It's kinda late and not urgent right now and I'm sure the Police have much better things to do with their time tonight so I'm not phoning them yet but think that I should....

Can't believe I have got into this situation, am scared they may take revenge on my property...sheds, car, etc over this...feel very threatened and concerned about what to do to resolve this....

Will I just give her son the money or do I stick to the Police advice and insist on getting the receipt signed before I give him the money????

What am I going to do???....This is madness and soooo unexpected...what kind of people are these and what have I done to deserve this mad behaviour....I can't seem to fix this and wonder about what may happen next....I have nobody to call that can help in RL except the Police....

Sorry this is lots to read....wanted to explain it though....

not sure I have an answer for you, what a horrible dilemma! but I understand how scary it is and how alone you must feel - am lone p too
Has he finished the work including the extra? could you pay him by cheque so you have a record if any comeback?

oh yes and keep the texts as they prove he's been doing the work (don't sound too bright putting it in writing by text but refusing to give a receipt)

Call the police, they do have important things to be getting on with, your situation being one of them. Call the non emergency line. Do not under any circumstances give them any money without getting the receipt signed otherwise she could harass you for more money. Goodness me what an awful situation for you to be in.

What a nightmare. You don't have any friendly other neighbour who could be a witness to you handing over the money? Apart from anything else, I wouldn't be giving her son, who is nothing to do with the transaction, the money. He could just pocket it. If you think about it he is the son of the ex of the person that did the work. Wouldn't stand up in Court.

You could try to reassure him/her that you need a receipt but won't be giving it to the benefit or tax people. It is just for you to keep to prove you paid.

Sounds like a nightmare, good luck.

and keep the note too of course!

Cheque sounds good, it can be traced then. You really have the upper hand as you could potentially 'grass him up', don't be bullied. Make him sign like the police said.

If she is his ex, why is she getting involved at all?

Def not cash, cheque or bank transfer.

I agree with other posters give him a cheque or bank transfer where you will have proof you paid, surely he must have given you a bill or quote of somekind? Tell him if this harrassment continues you will grass him up but have no intention of doing so if he tells his ex to butt out, and you will willingly pay him but need a receipt for your own tax credits or something?

Oh how awful , whatever you do don't give cash

Keep the reciept and keep all text messages and go back to the police. DONT bow to him or her.

My Mum had some trouble with neighbours and did ALL the things the police said and he's got an injunction against him now....if you pay him, it could turn into a "You owe us more money" scenario.

I dont have a cheque book....maybe I could get a bankers draft instead...except I don't know when the son is turning up at my door and banks are closed til tuesday...and I have a feeling they are determined that there can be no tracing back against him....
My friend has told me that even though I have all this in text messages on my phone from their phones...it doesn't prove it was them personally who sent the messages and they could say someone else sent them????

I want to dig my heels in and not be bullied or give in to harrassment but I fear I may make revenge a bigger issue and I'm worried about deliberate damage to my property....and if I go outside I may be harrassed or followed....(maybe my imagination running away from me a bit ...but!!!)...well I just don't know...I didn't see this coming and wish I'd never asked about this work now....they seem unpredictable and that worries me lots......it's not so much him as it's his ex and now her son!!!!

Why would you give money to anyone other than him?
Call him in the morning, say the receipt is purely so his crazy ex can't claim you haven't paid him - nothing to do with tax or an official record of anything... That you were pleased with his work but worried how personal it became and how involved the mad bitch next door has become (maybe don't call her that) and you insist on paying him what he has earned. Ask if he has a papal account instead (maybe clear it with police that this is proof of payment? Good enough for ebay so I would have thought so) or that your original offer of cash still stands, but with a signature "just on a scrap of paper" (tone it down for his benefit).

Good luck, scary shit!

He probably won't have the means to cash a cheque. And will know that they're traceable.

Do you know any big men?

Oh and BE OUT tomorrow. Beat them to it, go round there with the receipt and say "You can have cash but I want my reciept"

What are your other neighbours like op? could your friend give you some rl support in standing up to these bullies?

Oh yes...agree with Ninah...let the neighbours know. My Mum did and other people came forward and said this person had been hassling them too!

I've said lots to let him know I have no intention of causing him any bother at all...that I just want this situation to be over and regain my peace and safety and that because of these threats to me I feel i need to be able to prove I have paid him and it's settled and finished...I don't want any more hassle and that I am more than happy to pay him but must insist on a receipt being signed or I cannot part with any money...
He wanted me to change what I was paying for...so it didn't say work or decorating services...but I had to say I can't do this either as it needs to be detailed or it won't mean anything....

I think I might be able to ask my friends son (who is a policeman) to help me with this if he can...maybe he can have a word and warn them off....nicely...maybe not....might not be a fair way and prob shouldn't ask....might just ask him for more advice though....

What a mess I've got myself into with these people.....I'm suddenly not feeling very safe and I never worry about being alone....I hate this feeling....I've had locked doors all day and haven't been outside!!!....can't do this for long though can I.....

look bleep it should all blow over, they have more to lose than you do, just remember that
Not sure how detailed the receipt would need to be tbh, what else would you be paying for? with texts and police incident number he doesn't have a leg to stand on, I'd think a simple receipt for amount would do me - but take advice
I had a ropy time with my neighbours a while ago (including chap threatening ds with air gun and while it feels horrible we are now on functional terms (well he never speaks but she's OK)

just need to have decorating services or DIY work or something relevant to what I'm paying for....on the receipt...so it can't be misunderstood or anything should there be any further hassle....

Do you think it won't matter whats on it and just as long as it's signed by him that he has received the cash from me...is that enough?....I could do it this way...maybe that would work....

This horrible note through my door tells me not to make any contact and to see her son when he comes round....I'm not opening my door though....too worried to do that!!!

I'll have to phone Police in the morning...see what they advise....don't want them coming round either.... ....small cul-de-sac and mostly older people....some twitchy curtain folks round here too....my god there's enough speculation and bias of the single woman with weird kid in the lovely council house...(didn't think about upsetting anyone when I took the house I was offered by the council but there you go..!!!)...half of them would have a bloody field day with this....keep them going for weeks!!! lol...others in my little street are lovely though...it was them who warned me about the twitchers and speculations...takes all sorts eh!...joy!!!

I need my bed....it's hard work feeling stressed out

Thanks for all the advice tonight....I'll phone Police for further advice in the morning....I'll post back when I've found out what to do, etc and what they say I should do....

sleeping with 1 eye open and my ears on alert tonight...!!!

Just giving support was in a simalar situation and just paid to make it go away

Trading standards have helped me with another cowboy ?

why cant the son sign the receipt? or the dp?

before the threats I was just going to give him the money....it's when I got the threats and phoned the police about it for advice....they told me not to part with any money without a proper receipt being signed....he just refuses to sign one and now his ex is getting her son on to me....

If I could believe this would all go away...I would just pay him and be done with it...but I don't think it will be that easy ....she seems hell bent on causing all this trouble...it's so weird and mad....and makes no sense in the first place....it seems like she just wants to create trouble no matter what I do or say....why start all this nonsense in the first place.....

I wondered earlier today about this and it occurred to me that maybe she felt jealous or something...that he was here....that initially that was the cause maybe and it's mad and out of control...and now she wants to send her son round to give me grief too....????.....it's all I've been able to think of as a possible reason...

need to do another receipt that son is receiving the money on behalf of the guy/ex of mad neighbour...but doubt he will sign it either....these are not reasonable people and I have tried to sort it out but it went nowhere with her....