WWYD..??? handyman with nutty ex partner causing problems!!...

[whatthewhatthebleep]

So...I have this neighbour..don't know her very well (just as a neighbour)but had an idea she was a bit of a drama queen (big mouth and critisizm of others sort of way about her, a bit gossipy, etc)...anyway her ex is an experienced joiner and handyman and I asked if he might be interested in doing some work I needed help with to decorate my house, etc....made a list (the main things I wanted doing) and he agreed a price and started the work...great...all going well...nice chap and all that and I'm very happy with the work he's done....

anyway, he did some extra stuff needed and I had written a new list for these things to keep track and work out a price to add on, etc

I get a text from the neighbour (his ex) saying I'm taking the piss!!! and I'm 'making' him do extra work, etc and he wants his bloody money and won't be doing anymore of the work!!!!.....
I text back that I have no intention of ripping him off and have kept a note of things and of course will be paying more than the original price, etc....

This fell on deaf ears and she has threatened me and my property!!!!
I am single with my DS so became quite nervous about this
I spoke to the local police...they advised that I should meet and pay this guy in a public place and get him to sign a receipt to prove I have paid him and that it is settled and both parties are happy.....I'm thinking yes this is great advice, the police gave me an incident reference and to phone back if I have any problems....I felt better about things then

I sent him a text to explain I would have his money for him today...a receipt for him to sign for the payment and just let me know where and what time he wanted to meet me somewhere

He refuses to sign the receipt and told me to 'forget it and keep my money'...he can't sign anything because he is unemployed and should not be working and not declaring it.....well the police said do not pay him without getting a receipt as you can't then prove you have paid and it could cause more trouble for me with these people.....denying payment and whatever hassle.....

What to do???.....sitting thinking about this and have now had a note put through my door by 1 of them.....apparently she is sending her son round to my house tomorrow?? and I better have this money for him.....[OMG!!!]

It's kinda late and not urgent right now and I'm sure the Police have much better things to do with their time tonight so I'm not phoning them yet but think that I should....

Can't believe I have got into this situation, am scared they may take revenge on my property...sheds, car, etc over this...feel very threatened and concerned about what to do to resolve this....

Will I just give her son the money or do I stick to the Police advice and insist on getting the receipt signed before I give him the money????

What am I going to do???....This is madness and soooo unexpected...what kind of people are these and what have I done to deserve this mad behaviour....I can't seem to fix this and wonder about what may happen next....I have nobody to call that can help in RL except the Police....

Sorry this is lots to read....wanted to explain it though....

Please don't pay him cash. Someone I know did this, and it was a big bill (£2000). The builder claimed he hadn't been paid, threatened her and her baby, and in the end her DH paid him again as he was worried about their safety. To make it worse the next week they were burgled and had all their valuables, passports etc taken. They suspect the builder had something to do with this.

If he refusing to sign a receipt he isn't honest and you can't trust him.

Yes I am worried that if I don't get a receipt signed (as the Police advised me to)...that this could escalate....
though I fear it is going to escalate anyway with these people....I am concerned for my car and property and the problem with that is that I may have no way of proving who did any damage, etc....it's a nightmare....
I am desperately hoping my fears don't come true....it's on my mind too much and stressing me out a bit...
I hate that I'm being made to feel like this....
I have set up my phone so I can quickly set it to record...should the son appear at my door....
I could phone the Police about it all again but I'm worried this could just make matters worse (if I anger them)....revenge and all that....but I'm worried about what I could be dealing with anyway......dilema!!!!

I'm trying not to get too dramatic and panicky....!!!

I'm sorry you're in this situation & unfortunately I don't have anything useful to add. Just wanted to say to try & stay calm & stick to your guns - you'll pay him directly & get a receipt.

You're not wasting police time if you feel threatened & unsafe in your own home so don't hesitate to call them. Good luck.

I'd go get a money order, and pay with that, or go over there with 2 people for witnesses, (adults) and pay him cash. Why bother asking for a recite again, he is working under the table, and has already told you this. I think the sooner you pay him and get it over with the better. He is probably getting really mad he has to wait so long for his money.

I say this because they did not come over for the money, but since you do owe it to him, I feel you should go over to his house and pay him. Just get it over with and they will be out of your life.

tbh I think you are making a bad situationworse by asking for a receipt.

The police advised a receipt because they assume you're working with a legit tradesperson, and that advice is appropriate if you are.

But you are not working with a legit tradesperson, you are working with someone who is working on the side.

The best thing to do would have been to check his credentials before he started work. But he has now done the work and you owe him money.

She is undoubtably a nasty piece of work and I'm sorry you've had to deal with someone like her.

But from his point of view, I expect he think that he did good work for you and now you're being very difficult about paying by demanding a receipt.

A receipt is wholly inappropriate when someone has done black-market work for you! You are making the situation far worse by insisting on asking for one. The advice the police gave you is irrelevant because they weren't giving advice for how to deal with someone working off the cards!

In your position I would take someone with you for moral support / as a witness, and just pay him!

He's not going to give you a receipt as it could get him into a lot of trouble. Why do you actually need one anyway? Just pay him and move on! The nutty woman had no grounds to be annoyed with you at the beginning. But they do have grounds to be annoyed with you now as you're being very difficult about paying.

If you want to get receipts, make sure you employ someone legit. If you are going to employ people cash-in-hand then you need to play the game, and not suddenly expecting them to act like a legit business because that's not what's they are.

I am actually worried for you as your naivety is making this situation much worse.

Please, just pay the guy!!

I agree just pay him .

This is going to now definately escalate, because you owe them money.

He isn't going to sign anything, because it is proof of him working cash in hand.

Tbh, you are causing this to go on, by not just handing over the money that you owe.

He isn't a proper contractor, he obviously picks up extra money and once he has earned a certain amount, is happy with that, so his partner is pissed off by you wanting more done.

Pay them and put an end to it, the police are wrong, they have to give you a legal answer, but legality never came into this arrangement.

do you know where this guy lives ?

take control, go to his house with at least one credible witness with you, and pay him in cash

then insist while you are there that he calls off the dogs (his ex, and her son) and that be the end of it

make it clear if you are any further intimidated by him, or his family, that you will go to the police and shop him for the lot of it

The police are not interested in benefit fraud.

Why are you deciding a price with someone and then refusing to hand over what you owe?

From their POV that is what is happening.

If they don't intimidate you, how are they supposed to get the money that you have promised?

They cannot go to a small claims court. You have built this up in your head, when all you had to do was honour the agreement.

I agree. forget the receipt and just pay what you owe him.

Birds are you for real?!

He appears, from the OP, to have left the job halfway through after telling his ex that Bleep was 'forcing' him to do extra work. She had every intention of paying him when all the jobs were completed. Why is she being unreasonable, given the threats he and his exP have issued, to want a receipt as proof of payment, should he start insisting she hasn't paid him at all in the future?

Would you hand over your cash in Tesco for your shopping and not expect a receipt?

"If they don't intimidate you, how are they supposed to get the money that you have promised?"

And really, you think this is okay and acceptable in modern society?

Birds intimidating people is never on, and if the OP didn't feel intimidated this situation wouldn't have happened!

Seriously, I can't believe you're justifying intimidation!

Well yes, she should have paid him what she owed him for the work already done, and then asked if he was able to do the extra, not come up with a new list and add it on to the total owed and expect that he would wait for all the money at the end of that.

But that's no reason to have people threaten her!

It would have been reasonable for him to contact her and say sorry, that isn't going to work for me. Please pay me what you owe me to date and then we can look at the other work separately.

I'm sure if he'd just said that very simple thing, she'd have said oh yes, of course, sorry, come and get it.

DesperatelySeekingPomBears I'm with you on disagreeing with bird's unpleasant post.

However I think you and others who are telling the OP to hold out for a receipt are encouraging her in making a bad situation worse.

The guy is not going to give a receipt as he's working off the cards

They are obviously not very nice people, and the OP is putting herself at risk by not paying them IMO (which is what demanding a receipt amounts to).

If she holds out for a receipt I can't see any good coming of it. She should just pay them, with a witness.

Seriously, I can't believe you're justifying intimidation!

The only intimidation has been the son going round to collect the money.

The rest is what the OP has built upin her head.

If someone does work for you, you pay them!

He appears, from the OP, to have left the job halfway through

No he hasn't, he's done what was originally agreed and now the OP is with holding payment until he does all the work, or signs something that wasn't agreed to in the first place.

The man doesn't want to confront her by the sound of it and asked his ex, another woman to speak to her, otherwise no doubt the OP would be accusing him of bullying.

It sounds as though they just want their money, otherwise the woman would be round, but she is sending a neutral party, her sone.

I get a text from the neighbour (his ex) saying I'm taking the piss!!! and I'm 'making' him do extra work, etc and he wants his bloody money and won't be doing anymore of the work!!!!.....
I text back that I have no intention of ripping him off and have kept a note of things and of course will be paying more than the original price, etc....

This fell on deaf ears

The OP has tried to bullying the neighbour into doing extra work by with holding what she owes.

All they want is paying for the work agreed on and done!

I work 40 hour weeks, if one month my employer said "you can have your wages this month when you have done 10 extra hours, i would be pissed off as well.

He might have work promised for others to do, or that might have been earmarked for going back to school shoes etc.

Actually, how have they been imtimidating?

They have asked to be paid!

Um, birds. It's not what you say it's how you say it.

None of us were there so we have to take the OP's word for it that the tone was intimidating. She certainly feels intimidated.

In fact she states clearly in her OP that "she has threatened me and my property!!!!"

It's especially when asking for money that certain people can be intimidating!!

I am at the craziness of this thread!

On what planet is refusing to pay without a receipt, refusing to pay???

birds to be fair you are making some good points about how the neighbours might see the situation which the OP would do well to consider, so she can have a better understanding of the situation.

It's when you go off on one defending people intimidating someone that you're losing the rest of us! That's not acceptable in any circumstances.

I can understand how the neighbours may read the situation differently from the OP, but they made this a bad situation in the first place by threatening the OP rather than simply explaining their situation to her, which they could easily have done, instead of resorting to threats.

"This fell on deaf ears and she has threatened me and my property!!!!"

Birds - have you actually read the OP properly? It seems quite clear that this guy came to do some work, it was agreed that some stuff needed doing extra and they worked out a price that would be paid at the end.

Ex comes along, 'you're taking the piss blah blah', when actually it's bugger all to do with her. She has been threatened (as above), so it's not 'all in her head'.

You appear to be selecting certain points of the post and ignoring the rest for some bizarre reason - are you the ex?

Vicky the guy cannot issue a receipt as he's been working cash-in-hand for her.I imagine he's scared he'll get caught.

If you want to get a receipt use a legitimate company.

If you use an illegal worker then you don't expect a receipt! That's the way it works!

The OP is effectively refusing payment by insisting on a receipt as the guy has explained he can't issue one.

She doesn't actually need a receipt, she's just blindly following the advice she thinks the police have given her. Only the police are of course talking about what you would do in a legal situation. They've not given her any advice on how to deal with cash-in-hand workers as it's not in their remit to do so!

In the future she should certainly use legitimate companies!

Please can I suggest this website www.mybuilder.com/ you can find local (legitimate!) tradespeople and see how others have rated them before picking one. I found a great local electrician through it.

I'm sure like many of us I'm not unused to paying cash for jobs, very much take the view that it's not my job to police people's tax or benefit affairs but no-one has ever refused to give me a receipt. I simply wouldn't pay if they did.