WWYD..??? handyman with nutty ex partner causing problems!!...

[whatthewhatthebleep]

So...I have this neighbour..don't know her very well (just as a neighbour)but had an idea she was a bit of a drama queen (big mouth and critisizm of others sort of way about her, a bit gossipy, etc)...anyway her ex is an experienced joiner and handyman and I asked if he might be interested in doing some work I needed help with to decorate my house, etc....made a list (the main things I wanted doing) and he agreed a price and started the work...great...all going well...nice chap and all that and I'm very happy with the work he's done....

anyway, he did some extra stuff needed and I had written a new list for these things to keep track and work out a price to add on, etc

I get a text from the neighbour (his ex) saying I'm taking the piss!!! and I'm 'making' him do extra work, etc and he wants his bloody money and won't be doing anymore of the work!!!!.....
I text back that I have no intention of ripping him off and have kept a note of things and of course will be paying more than the original price, etc....

This fell on deaf ears and she has threatened me and my property!!!!
I am single with my DS so became quite nervous about this
I spoke to the local police...they advised that I should meet and pay this guy in a public place and get him to sign a receipt to prove I have paid him and that it is settled and both parties are happy.....I'm thinking yes this is great advice, the police gave me an incident reference and to phone back if I have any problems....I felt better about things then

I sent him a text to explain I would have his money for him today...a receipt for him to sign for the payment and just let me know where and what time he wanted to meet me somewhere

He refuses to sign the receipt and told me to 'forget it and keep my money'...he can't sign anything because he is unemployed and should not be working and not declaring it.....well the police said do not pay him without getting a receipt as you can't then prove you have paid and it could cause more trouble for me with these people.....denying payment and whatever hassle.....

What to do???.....sitting thinking about this and have now had a note put through my door by 1 of them.....apparently she is sending her son round to my house tomorrow?? and I better have this money for him.....[OMG!!!]

It's kinda late and not urgent right now and I'm sure the Police have much better things to do with their time tonight so I'm not phoning them yet but think that I should....

Can't believe I have got into this situation, am scared they may take revenge on my property...sheds, car, etc over this...feel very threatened and concerned about what to do to resolve this....

Will I just give her son the money or do I stick to the Police advice and insist on getting the receipt signed before I give him the money????

What am I going to do???....This is madness and soooo unexpected...what kind of people are these and what have I done to deserve this mad behaviour....I can't seem to fix this and wonder about what may happen next....I have nobody to call that can help in RL except the Police....

Sorry this is lots to read....wanted to explain it though....

You need to see that money as already spent...because it is!

I get what you are saying about funds being limited but you cant say its right to spend it on other things if he hasnt collected by xx date.

so...I should remain in this position because he might decide to turn up and create more problems to me and his ex would be within her rights to continue to have a go too...so I sit here indefinitely and wait for things to kick off again and nothing has an end?....

I've been trying to pay the money for days since all this nonsense started...and am giving it until this friday....then I'm moving on. If he decides to turn up for money at some unknown/planned time, then I will deal with it then...and find his money by some means at that time...

I'm not just going to sit here being in this position with these nutters and be waiting for more to happen...I'm trying to call time on it and wonder when I will feel safe and my property safe from these people....

Maybe they won't ever stop...maybe I'm at the beginning of all sorts of unknown issue's....I don't want to feel like a victim and am drawing a line on it.

I wonder that you would take your own advice if you were actually in this situation...I doubt anyone would just sit there feeling like a target and leaving the door open for trouble to keep walking through...or whether you would stand fast and call a stop on it...a limit on allowing it to continue....thats all I'm doing.

You're overthinking this. You've already 'spent' the money so forget about being tempted to do anything else with it. If you do spend it on anything else you will be completely in the wrong and lose the moral high ground. Put it in a sealed envelope for now and forget about it - it's not yours any more.

The threats etc are a different matter. Do not deal with anyone else except the bloke himself - not his nutty ex or her (so far) invisible son. If you have any further threats etc then contact the police again. The ex sounds mad as a box of frogs and her interference was unnecessary and ridiculous. In the meantime, try to stop thinking about all the 'what ifs' and the unfairness of it all. You have the bloke's balls in a mincer anyway if he was working tax free (and he knows it) so I doubt if he will escalate things too much.

Actually, why are you paying him the rest when he hasn't finished? How much are you paying him for work he hasn't done?

That is completely different and you should definitely not pay for something you that has not been done! That will just make you look like a mug and that they can get whatever out of you.

yes...will put the money away and see what happens....piece of string though...
but I see this is the best way forward with it all.

I already paid £150 to him and have £100 here waiting for him....

He did the wall raggling I didn't foresee and fixed 2 drawers on my dressing table which wasn't on the list originally...(so minor I forgot about this 'extra')..he was happy to do both of these jobs and it has always been my intention to pay him as such......I said I would and will now ensure the money is there if and when he asks for it.....

Any further hassle from the ex or invisible son will just need to be ignored or involve the Police if need be....

Tbh...I'm wondering if they have backed off because they have worked out I have all this evidence about all this in their crazy text messages, and have backed off giving me any further hassle hoping I won't use it and go to the Police with it.....maybe I have my peace already and maybe I won't hear anymore from any of them....wishful thinking???

IME people like this are all bark and no bite. they just rely on people being intimidated by them.

if I were you, I would get a large, male friend to go there with the cash and act as a "Security agent" and insist he signs the reciept.

If I were you, the money would be in a sealed envelope with his name on it, and no longer my money. You'll hear from him eventually, and need to have it right there to hive to him.

Well, good luck.

Actually, the list of extras seems a bit much. Fixing 2 walls, sinking electrical wires into a wall and drilling and hanging poles and blinds on 3 windows is not a minor amount of work. That's something you'd pay someone a few quid to come in and do.

This does not mean I am condoning any of the threats or anything, and ignores the whole benefits and receipts issue. I just know enough contractors to know that lots of people do this, add an extra afternoon of work to a job and expect to get it for free. Which is not on.

Sorry, 2 walls should read 2 drawers there.

That work is fairly minor really-l could probably manage that in an hour or two so the money amount seems fair.
However he is an "ex" for a reason and we don't know what the neighbours relationship is like with him. It could be he is so embarassed by her actions and threatas that he has backed off.
It is a horrible situation to be in but you must keep yourself and DS safe. I fear that by not getting some kind of "proof" of payingmight lead to further problems down the line.
Do as you are doing OP--put the money aside if and when he comes looking for it. Do not engage with neighbour or her son ( that may just have been a threat to make you pay up). The deal was between you and the ex-it is none of her concern who pays or when.
Any more threats from her seek advice from the police.

Keep safe

x

worry...read thread before commenting..Jeez!!!

3 blinds replaced after taking them down to paint the windows (no drilling...just a screw driver to put them back!!...the new blinds I bought were exactly the same as the old ones...just a different colour.....minutes to hang up again...could have done it myself easy...he pretended obv to not mind doing them!!
3 loose cables pinned into wall with large cable clips, slap of concrete and polyfilla to smooth over...took 15/20 mins max if you don't count the drying time overnight of the concrete...!
2 drawers cos the sliders had snapped and needed all of 3 screws to fix!!!...took 5 mins

wouldn't you have assumed that in order to paint windows..he needed to remove the blinds and poles first?? and would you then assume that he would put them back when the windows were painted??.....is this really an 'extra' or is this an obvious part of the job???

So...do you think £100 is ok for less than an hours work...and actually he didn't get the job I was paying for finished...but I'm still going to pay him...

I got a text message...agreed to meet me this morning outside a local shop....taking a friend as a witness and going to set my phone on record whilst this takes place.....just hoping the ex or whoever doesn't turn up and there are any problems.....

I'll post later and hopefully that will be the end of it now....???

Good luck I'm sure it'll be fine.

call the police and the benefit people and report him for benefit fraud. hope you are ok

I sort of feel sorry for the guy....he never meant for any of this at all...he was happy with the work and happy with the extra's....it has all been his ex and his lack of a pair to stop her causing all these problems.
He was apologetic about things....I told him he needed to grow a pair!!...and maybe put some distance between himself and his ex nutter.....he agreed with me!!
My friend was there and I recorded it all...counted out the money....managed to get him to say his full name (I just pretended I wasn't sure if it was x or y and he confirmed the right name!). We spoke about him signing on and working and there is no harm in doing this and he wouldn't even have lost much benefit...etc..and that I had no intention of causing him any issue's with it....he agreed and said he was going to discuss this with the job center and find out more as he has been offered more work from someone....I told him to keep his business to himself and not let the ex know too much....that maybe she was wanting to cause him the trouble more than cause trouble to me??....

Anyway, he has his money, I feel better and just hope that the ex stays away from me and there is no more hassle.....wished him well and that was that....
I've done the right thing and feel better for it...thank you for the support and advice here....it helped me in just being able to share it all.....

Well done. I also feel a bit sorry for the guy. What a nightmare ex! There wouldn't have been a problem if she hadn't got involved would there? I wonder what would have happened if you'd given her the money? Thank goodness you didn't!

I have no doubt you'll be giving her a wide berth!

yes definitely a very wide berth!!!....don't feel as bothered about her now either.....might get my grass cut today or tomorrow (weather pending)....and not feel as nervous about sighting the monster lol!!!

Glad it worked out.