WWYD..??? handyman with nutty ex partner causing problems!!...

[whatthewhatthebleep]

So...I have this neighbour..don't know her very well (just as a neighbour)but had an idea she was a bit of a drama queen (big mouth and critisizm of others sort of way about her, a bit gossipy, etc)...anyway her ex is an experienced joiner and handyman and I asked if he might be interested in doing some work I needed help with to decorate my house, etc....made a list (the main things I wanted doing) and he agreed a price and started the work...great...all going well...nice chap and all that and I'm very happy with the work he's done....

anyway, he did some extra stuff needed and I had written a new list for these things to keep track and work out a price to add on, etc

I get a text from the neighbour (his ex) saying I'm taking the piss!!! and I'm 'making' him do extra work, etc and he wants his bloody money and won't be doing anymore of the work!!!!.....
I text back that I have no intention of ripping him off and have kept a note of things and of course will be paying more than the original price, etc....

This fell on deaf ears and she has threatened me and my property!!!!
I am single with my DS so became quite nervous about this
I spoke to the local police...they advised that I should meet and pay this guy in a public place and get him to sign a receipt to prove I have paid him and that it is settled and both parties are happy.....I'm thinking yes this is great advice, the police gave me an incident reference and to phone back if I have any problems....I felt better about things then

I sent him a text to explain I would have his money for him today...a receipt for him to sign for the payment and just let me know where and what time he wanted to meet me somewhere

He refuses to sign the receipt and told me to 'forget it and keep my money'...he can't sign anything because he is unemployed and should not be working and not declaring it.....well the police said do not pay him without getting a receipt as you can't then prove you have paid and it could cause more trouble for me with these people.....denying payment and whatever hassle.....

What to do???.....sitting thinking about this and have now had a note put through my door by 1 of them.....apparently she is sending her son round to my house tomorrow?? and I better have this money for him.....[OMG!!!]

It's kinda late and not urgent right now and I'm sure the Police have much better things to do with their time tonight so I'm not phoning them yet but think that I should....

Can't believe I have got into this situation, am scared they may take revenge on my property...sheds, car, etc over this...feel very threatened and concerned about what to do to resolve this....

Will I just give her son the money or do I stick to the Police advice and insist on getting the receipt signed before I give him the money????

What am I going to do???....This is madness and soooo unexpected...what kind of people are these and what have I done to deserve this mad behaviour....I can't seem to fix this and wonder about what may happen next....I have nobody to call that can help in RL except the Police....

Sorry this is lots to read....wanted to explain it though....

Vicky she has to live next door to these people!

As I do my neighbour, who has laid a drive for me, put up a fence and painted a shed. And given me a receipt. Of course not a letterheaded one with VAT reg etc, just a handwritten note saying "paid, £X xx/xx/xx. That really is all the OP needs, just so she knows she won't be the first port of call whenever money is right and they decide to "forget" they've been paid.

Vicky you're making a bad situation worse. I am worried for the OP.

Digging your heals in about a receipt when the people are being threatening strikes me as bonkers! She should just pay them and vow to never do business with them again.

I think it is highly unlikely that they will "forget" she's paid them, and if they do, she can go to the police then. As that would be highly criminal (as they're hardly going to forget after this kerfuffle are they?) But if she's paid with a witness there they can back her story up.

But there is nothing to suggest that this is what they are up to. The guy is obviously scared of getting caught as won't issue a receipt, so the OP has that in her favour. I really doubt he's going to risk her going to the police is he?!

By carrying on demanding a receipt she is just making a bad situation worse. He's already refused to write one. What's she supposed to do next? He's not going to write one. Digging her heals in is creating a war between her and her neighbours.

I'm surprised at your reasoning for needing a receipt tbh. I would never do business with someone whom I thought would in a million years demand money out of me which I'd already paid them. That's akin to mugging!! Do you really have such a low opinion of humanity?!

Hi OP, how did you get on yesterday? Any visitors?

In fact what the supposed 'extra work' amounted to was putting up new window blinds instead of the old ones after he had painted 3 windows...I needed the poles and blinds back on my window's...not to be left with nothing!

The only extra job was in fact unforseeable....as it was only discovered after a kitchen unit was moved...there were electrical cables (x3) not raggled into the wall. He dug out a channel, slapped some quick drying concret mix into the channel and then polyfilla'd to a smooth finish on the wall....it took about 20mins work....

The crazy bloody ex wife...accused me of 'forcing' or 'making' the poor guy do extra work not on the original list....apart from the stupid wall thing...maybe I should have detailed...'when you take the blinds and poles off my windows...I will need them put back and am buying new ones for this'....I wrote a basic list of the main jobs...not a novel with step by step instruction's!!!!

I had discussed the 'extra' with him...we had both been amicable and agreeable...he had no trouble at the time doing the wee extra and told me what to go and buy for him so he could bloody fix it!!!

The ex sends the nasty stupid text about taking the piss, extra work and I'd better pay or the kitchen cupboards can come down as easy as they went up....is this or is this not a bloody threat????...that she says...I wouldn't like to be in your shoes when he comes round for his money....

I was further threatened that if I haven't paid him...her bloody son is coming round......oooooh...what, for a nice wee friendly chat and a cuppa...don't bloody think so!!!

I phoned the Police because I was feeling nervous, worried about my welfare and my bloody property.....I got advice...I explained he wasn't working, was signing on, etc...wasn't sure he would sign a receipt...they still told me...they would be able to do little to nothing if I had no proof of things...so I'd just be a victim and no re-course then????....I bit back, I don't want to be a victim, won't sit here and cow to these crazy people....
It seemed sensible to try to take back some control, not become their victim and have this harrassment continuing....what if they decide (as they are annoyed and threatening me anyway)...I may go out and find my car or something vandalised or something....what then when I'd have no proof, etc?.....I'd have no proof of anything and I would be a sitting target....maybe they enjoy this sort of thing...maybe this is deliberately something from nothing and they don't need a reason (it seems that way to me)

So....anyway...the son has not been round (to my knowledge) whilst I've been in the house....no sign of him thank goodness....maybe it was her threat rather than her son taking anything to do with it at all....or maybe I was just out when he came round...????

I'm fed up of this and just would prefer to pay him and get it over with....it's whether the ex, etc will let it go which bothers me...hence the receipt seemed a good idea....

Anyway, I've just sent the guy a text...to meet him and pay him...no receipt...just his money...I feel bad to withhold his money so will just get it over with and hope that's the end of it ...maybe I shouldn't have felt OTT about all this...maybe I am the one being unreasonable or unfair in some way...I don't think so...but...I would still rather pay what I am due him....and hope??

Get a chequebook and write him a cheque. If he's scared of it being traceable, he won't cash it, but you will have paid.

I don't understand what the blokes problem is, if he doesn't want to get caught then all he has to do is declare it to the jobcentre and they will just deduct it from his benefits, it really isn't hard, they are causing this situation for the OP, they should not be intimidating her at all

I'm shocked at the amount of people on here saying OP is unfair because she demands a reciept when he doesn't want to give one because he is on benefits.

Not only is this family harrassing the OP and threatening her even though she is willing to pay with a reciept but he is playing the system and working while on benefits yet loads of people think the OP is in the wrong?! WTF?

OP, I think you should follow police advice and only pay with a reciept or a payment that can be tracked.

" This horrible note through my door tells me not to make any contact and to see her son when he comes round.... "

Possibly - when taken together with the texts - constitutes "demanding money wth menaces". You really should involve the police however I quite understand the difficulty you are in.

If you must meet the 'handyman' then please take a (large) witness!

text has given him til friday to get in contact and arrange to meet so I can pay him.....
I have plenty of other things I can use this money for if he isn't in touch with me....I know I've done my best to deal with this and pay him.

I may phone back to the Police just to update the situation and what I am doing about it....just so I am not completely alone in this and have some record to fall back on if I should need to.

She is his ex.

Even if she wasn't his ex, legal or not so legal your contract is with him to do you work in exchange for money.

Your contract is not with him to pay her unless you agreed this.

Ignore her demands for money. Ignore her son should he turn up. If they threaten or harass you contact the police.

Contact him and arrange to give him the money and no one else.

Do you think she is trying to divert money to her?

Hi, i havent read all the thread so i dont know if anyone has already suggested about taping the paying of them.
I mean if they came round to your house and you clearly say here is the however much amount for whatever work it is.
and theres a voice or video recording as proof, as far as i know it isnt illegal to do that on your own property.
Though you are probably supposed to tell them you are taping it!

SchrodingersMew I do not think the OP is in the wrong.

I think she's in a horrible position as she's living next door to someone who doesn't seem to be able to resolve simple issues without resorting to threats. That's not her fault at all.

However demanding a receipt is making the situation worse.

It's not about what's fair IMO, it's about what she can do finish this chapter with these people so she doesn't have to deal with them any more!

OP how sure are you that your neighbour has the authority of the workman to take money on his behalf? Does she perhaps know that his phone is broken and reckons she could have that money (or part of it)? Has she been telling him something else?

If some strange guy turns up at your door - the workman's, ex's, son - I wouldn't even consider giving him money. You don't know him from Adam! Tell your neighbour you'll only deal with the builder in future.

Phone the Benefit Fraud helpline.

Aufaniae She could be making it worse by not demanding a reciept.

These people are obviously out to get whatever they can and I would not be surprised in the slightest if the exbf was in on it and they will attempt to scam/threaten her for more money.

Mind, technically she does have the upper hand as she could quite easily phone the benefit fraud line.

"Phone the Benefit Fraud helpline."

And back in the real world, how is that going to help the OP? She lives next door to the ex!
They'd know it was her.

"These people are obviously out to get whatever they can"

They have only asked for the money he's worked for. (Benefit fraud aside!)
how is that "out to get whatever they can"?

If they try to get more money out of her then she should of course phone the police. But that's an imaginary situation, and nothing to do with reality as far as anyone can tell.

You're adding 2+2 and making 5.

I wouldn't call threatening her asking.

And who's to say that the ex isn't going to text demanding more money or decide to claim she owes more than OP gives over? She's already claimed that OP is trying to do him out of the money and that she forced him into extra work.

Fair enough, I may have jumped to concusions but you obviously aren't reading the same OP either as you don't seem to be registering that they are actually threatening her and not just simply asking for the money.

I'm not really bothered about people quibbling over whether I was or wasn't threatened...certainly the Police believed I had been too when I phoned the first time...and would have come round to see me and these threatening texts...were happy to give me an incident number and take action.....I put them off doing this...(but took the incident number and the woman recorded the information from my call).....hoping I could sort things out myself....

The job wasn't finished...it was a few things away from being finished when the ex kicked off with her bloody nonsense...the guy was planning to return the next day to do more!!...there was no reasoning about it...it was ridiculous and totally un-called for trouble making.....I have no idea why but suspect she was jealous he was here and the job was taking longer than first thought....maybe she didn't like that...maybe shes a very jealous crazy fuck up and I didn't know it...or maybe she is just a crazy fuck up and I didn't know it....who knows someone elses motivation for creating issues.....maybe the guy loves her, can't help himself or something stupid, no balls and let this get too far and can't get her to shut up and mind her business....I don't know what their bloody story is do I....maybe he was doing this work for me and she was pissed off because she wanted him doing work for her but he was taking too long here...guess all you want on this one really.....

I'm just on the receiving end of this crap and it's not good for me right now....I came on here (maybe a mistake) to gain some perspective and have people to support me a bit...I live alone with a young DS sn, felt vulnerable and worried...maybe even a bit of shock...considering you can't see these things coming can you really...it's fine, I'm fine. I'll find a way to deal with it...maybe it will blow over who knows....it's just that I'm a bit swamped at the moment at home with my DS and various other issue's (another thread) and I'm feeling quite emotional right now...

Anyway...I'm leaving this thread...I never came here to feel like I had to justify myself and sort out misunderstandings with people here....If you read my thread and what I've said...it explains itself...

Thank you very much to those who were genuinely helpful and supportive to me...I very much appreciated you being there for me and it didn't seem so bad with someone to reach out to...so thank you

Of course any reasonable person would find them threatening. FWIW I don't think anyone other than that birds poster doubts that.

I hope you find a positive resolution soon. And I hope my posts have been helpful, I have been genuinely worried for you.

Wishing you all the best :) And use something like mybuilder.com next time! Much less hassle!

OP you said this "I have plenty of other things I can use this money for if he isn't in touch with me".
But you can't give him until Friday or else spend the money. When you owe someone money, it isn't yours to spend. Hopefully I misinterpreted what your meant by that remark. Can't you go over several times a day until you find him at home?

The reality is I have the money...but I won't have it indefinitely....I don't know where he lives (not that I'd be going to his house anyway) and won't be going anywhere near the ex who is the actual neighbour.....if he can't respond to messages to meet me somewhere and get his money after all this nonsense when his phone worked fine.....do I just keep this money available and for how long do you suggest?
When would you decide that you could do no more? and if you were in my shoes with limited precious funds...it never takes long to need money for something...it is the reality for many...I'm not going to skip paying a bill so I can continue to hold this money just in case he decides to get in touch...I am never in a position to hold 'savings' of any kind...I scraped this money together by sacrificing other things...the planet I live on has little resources and every penny really counts....I will use this money for other things if he doesn't get in contact with me by friday....maybe I can keep my car on the road and buy the road tax I need with it instead of doing a SORN....and having no car to use.

I have already paid him a good amount for the work and this is the remainder...even though the work wasn't finished....I think I'm being as fair as I can tbh and this has never been about me trying not to pay him...I have always maintained that I want to pay him and am not going to let him down because of all this nonsense....I think it is fair enough to make it time limited and put this behind me then...whichever way it goes with the money I just want it to be over and done with...if he chooses not to meet me for the money...what else can I do anyway???

Hang on...you MUST have it indefinitely because it is not yours.

If you spend it with the intention of not paying then you're a criminal too.