to be pissed off that I have pissed off FIL?

[sleepychunky]

DS1 is having a sleepover at his grandparents house tonight. I texted MIL to say that it would be great if they could collect him after 7.15 (once DS1 is in bed) so that DS2 doesn't know he's gone out and gets all upset (they are very close and DS2 doesn't like it when DS1 isn't there).
At 7.10 FIL appeared at the door and I said that we weren't ready yet as DS2 was still up and we were just finishing our bedtime routine, which is the only way we can get DS2 to go upstairs and settle easily (he's 2.8). I asked him if he could just wait in the car for 5 minutes whilst I got DS2 upstairs. If FIL had come in at that point it would have completely excited DS2 and he wouldn't have gone happily to bed for at least another half an hour, maybe more. FIL stropped off and went home again, and then I got a text from MIL a few minutes later. She turned up at about 7.20 to collect DS1.
FIL is now in a big strop (he is renowned for being the world's biggest sulker) but I really don't think I did anything wrong, yet I'm feeling really crap. AIBU for thinking if I said come after 7.15, he should have come after 7.15? They know how difficult it is to get DS2 to bed and that we have a pretty strong routine when interruptions are really not helpful.
Sorry, this is actually really trivial but I really hate it when I have annoyed people but I don't think it is my fault. I know FIL is going to be sulky with me for days (we see them nearly every day and DH is spending the whole day there tomorrow shifting pots in their garden).

I think its rather rude to send him back to his car. I not suprised hes annoyed.

He's still being very silly to sulk though. I can't abide sulkers.

No squoosh I don't. I wouldn't dream if asking a family member to go off a d sit in their car.

Kitchen quietly & cuppa.

I can see why he has his kickers in a knot.

Ok sulking is childish but it's either that or start an argument on the doorstep neither is great.

No squoosh not really. How does she even know he will be? It's not happened yet .

OP was ridiculous. If she did that to me I would phone all my mates and have a good laugh about it. It's one of the silliest things I have ever heard.

YABU, sorry your DC's have to leran to be apart sometimes.

I'd ring and say sorry and if he then sulks yes that's childish.

I'd say I wasn't thinking and was being a bit silly and laugh or summat.

There's nothing wrong with following a routine but tbh this is excessive.

'Thanks to those who said IANBU - I suppose it's a routine vs. non-routine thing, and my DS2 needs his routine for the sanity and health of all of us'

My son has Asperger's, we've been doing routine for decades, next time tell your FIL a time that gives you at least 20 minutes leeway.

I tried to stick to routine with mine but ffs there are times when you can make exceptions - if your routine is so unbreakable you should never have agreed to such a s late pick up.

YWBU. I had strict bedtime routines for mine when they were tiddly, but I'd never have asked an adult visitor to hang around outside so as not to interrupt. I'd have silently seethed and wished a plague of boils upon them. That's the British way.

Gee, well let's see, if you read her post she describes him as 'renowned for being the world's biggest sulker'. She also says he is in a big strop and will now sulk for days. I'm going to take a wild guess that's she's experienced his sulks before.

My in laws were horrors for arriving early, I used to be as we all ran round in our PJ's trying to get sorted when we saw them pull up forty minutes early.

Never would it have occurred to me to send them to wait in the car!

I really don't get why you think your FIL has been the one being unreasonable by being upto five minutes early. Five fricking minutes! And now you're just being defensive saying, well I would have arrived at 7.25.

You have made a bit of a cock-up with sleepover arrangements. I have done similar. Shit happens. But to turn it onto your FIL is mean.

As I said before, is it not possible to prepare DS2 for his brother's sleepovers rather than concealing them?

FIL once sulked for 3 weeks and didn't speak to MIL throughout that time because she bought the wrong kind of beer for him in Tesco

Yes but it hasn't yet happened so I am afraid I cannot decide if someone is more childish on the grounds of something, that on this occasion has not yet actually happened.

She should apologise and if he still sulks then yes, he is a childish tit.

Well if I ever saw a good reason for a sulk this could be it.

I dont see why hes in the wrong just because he likes a good old sulk?

The thing is, OP, by saying YABU, that doesnt mean your FIL is a saint.

You can still be UR and he can still be a huffy bugger too.

it's all a bit planned with military precision isn't it. why didn't you just say half seven?

I bet op wishes she never started this thread! She was feeling crap before the responses started...

He ignored his wife for three weeks because she bought the wrong beer? Well look on the bright side, after your massive transgression you won't have to speak to him till 2021.

Nice work

Christ could be 2014 here.

sugarbatty yep, you're right there

Might be a while before they have him over again . I think Y WERE BU and rude. Sorry.

I would rather of had to deal with DS2 for an extra 30 mins, than banish the FIL to the car. DS2's bedtime seems ridiculously regimented, I liked routine but not that much.

I see you have apologised so hopefully no damage done. Chalk it up to experience.