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Original poster

To ask for a contribution after DD's friend damaged my TV

122 replies

pixie54 · 21/08/2012 21:47

DD's friend who had come for a sleepover was playing on the WII without the wrist strap on. When "bowling" she let go of the remote thingy and it hit our tv cracking the screen and it stopped working.
Her mum was with me having a cuppa when it happened and my DD (9) came in and said that it had happened. I said to my DD 'not to worry, I'll sort it later'. Friends mum didn't comment. Then my son came in and said the tv wasn't working and again I said I'd sort it later. DD's friends mum said that her dd probably wasn't wearing the strap. Then they left, without mentioning it all.i haven't heard from her at all since. The upshot is that tv is not repairable, a new one is £1200 and I have to claim on my accidental damage cover which has a £250 excess and I lose my no claims status. Should I contact the mum and ask her to contribute? Or, do we take the view that accidents like this are something to be accepted and we should bear the cost? I don't know what the right thing to do is!! Advice please, thanks

OP posts:
DesperatelySeekingPomBears · 21/08/2012 21:51

I'm not sure how you'd approach it, but it was certainly very impolite of the mum not to offer to pay for the repair.

MammaTJisanOlympicSumoWrestler · 21/08/2012 21:53

I kind of think that at 9, they are the responsibilty of the adults in charge, now as her mum was there, it is whether you take the view that that person was her or you. Having said that, you could well assume that if your DD always wears the strap, then her DD would too. She was well aware that she probably wouldn't.

Sorry, sat on the fence here a bit. Is the friendship worth more or less than the £250?

JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 21/08/2012 21:54

House insurance is there to cover that sort of thing. People have excess as well

FWIW my son did the same thing, playing down the road, the wii remote went out of his hand, smashed the TV.

Morally, I bought her a new one nothing to do with bitch screaming in my front garden threatening to brick my windows, I rather wish I'd told her to shove the wii up her rectal passage, finding out her dog chewed the straps and there fore the wii remote not fit for purpose.

but we live and learn.

KaFayOLay · 21/08/2012 21:54

Did anybody tell the girl to put the wrist strap on?
Not all children have Wii's and she may not have known.

Robinredboobs · 21/08/2012 21:55

Firstly, you should have a kinect - they are much better :P I'm surprised the other mum didn't say anything but if it was my TV and a friends child had done that (very obviously this was an accident) then I wouldn't expect them to make a contribution.

Although I want a big expensive TV I just couldn't risk it with my toddler so stick to a crappy 23 inch, these sort of things do happen with kids around.

boredandrestless · 21/08/2012 22:01

If I were this child's mum I'd be mortified and would offer some money.

If this had happened in my house I would have said "oh no, we best go and have a look at it, see what's what", would have seen the damage while they were still there, and hopefully she would have offered to help with repair costs.

What tv do you have that costs £1200! Shock Did a man choose it?!?

Kayano · 21/08/2012 22:08

They are 9 - I would have been in the room making sure this didn't happen. I mean you must have known that loads of these accidents have happened previously

And not just with kids!

It happened to us Blush well it was a friend and the tv still worked but had dented plastic. What kind of tv was it for 1200?! Bloody hell.

If you said you would sort it later and haven't contacted her she might think its still working.

MrsKeithRichards · 21/08/2012 22:09

Oh god I'd die if my ds.done this.somewhere. I'd make all the right noises.about paying but theres.no way I could afford that. If he done it in my house I'd claim on my insurance, that's why I have it.

Original poster
pixie54 · 21/08/2012 22:11

Thanks for the replies. I didn't go and inspect the damage as I didn't want to embarrass anyone- especially her daughter. I think I'm dwelling on it so much because of the way her mum upped and left as if it was an everyday occurrence. I would have offered to pay in those circs.
Ps yes, of course a man chose the tv.... I never watch the sodding thing!

OP posts:
WilsonFrickett · 21/08/2012 22:11

£1200 for a telly? Is it made of gold?

WildWorld2004 · 21/08/2012 22:13

I was thinking the same £1200 for a tv. I hope it does your housework & food shopping for you.

My tv was under £300 for 32" & i thought that was expensiveHmm

louisianablue2000 · 21/08/2012 22:13

She should have offered but since she hasn't you'll have to decide if the friendship is worth the cost. She might have been scared of the cost of your TV.

trigirl2012 · 21/08/2012 22:14

Tricky but I think its up to the adults in charge, not her fault at 9 (unless you'd specifically told her to use wrist strap).

Kayano · 21/08/2012 22:14

But if you downplayed it and said 'I'll sort it later' etc and you never went to look then she might just assume
It was all ok in the end iyswim?

She might just have followed your lead and tried to be relaxed about it

Mumsyblouse · 21/08/2012 22:14

I would offer to pay the excess out of guilt if I did that, but not the whole amount!

If the TV is that precious, should 9 year olds be playing unsupervised on it?

And, given if you'd said 'wear the wrist strap', it wouldn't have happened, I do think you bear more of the responsibility.

The mum can't possibly tell her 9 year old daughter before she goes out 'now, if it it looks like a really pricey telly, then remember to wear the wrist strap if you use the wii'. She couldn't have prevented it, but you could, as you know both the value of your TV and were in the supervisory role.

In fact, I have convinced myself you shouldn't ask her for any money! If she offered out of niceness, great, but she has no moral obligation to pay, and I do think you have probably learnt the hard way not to let children play with £1000+ items.

mercibucket · 21/08/2012 22:15

I've never met anyone who actually uses the straps! Tricky one. Firstly, I can't imagine letting kids anywhere near a telly costing that much, but if I did and it got broken, I would be gutted but put it down to one of those things and buy another, cheaper, one. I wouldn't ask for money. Otoh if my kids did that, I'd want to pay a contribution but not much tbh.

Champneys · 21/08/2012 22:17

Did the mum actually see the damage. You should have gone in there to sort it out infront of her. that would have made her feel awkward enough to offer.

AChickenCalledKorma · 21/08/2012 22:20

I think the mother should have immediately gone to see what damage her daughter had done, and should also have offered to contribute.

But if you told the children not to worry, she probably took that as a cue that you were not worried. And she would never have guessed that the damage would have cost that much.

At this point, I have no idea how on earth you would go about raising it with the other mother and I'd be inclined to claim on the insurance and learn from the experience.

larks35 · 21/08/2012 22:22

I think that by not inspecting damage yourself while they were there, you've kind of shot yourself in the foot really. If the mum is a goodish friend you could mention splitting the excess between you but I have to admit that I probably wouldn't myself. FWIW I've never used a wii in my life and would have no idea that I should use a wrist strap Blush. Agree with other posters that perhaps if these things happen with the wii a £1200 telly isn't the best screen to play it on.

SundaeGirl · 21/08/2012 22:27

Sorry, I don't think you can ask for money. Buy expensive kit, let children play with it and you take your own risk.

I also think you shouldn't be angry with the mother. Dramas happen all the time with DCs playing in another room, she might equally have thought the batteries had fallen out or whatever. No reason for her to assume a cracked and permanently broken TV screen. Presumably as you went on talking between first child telling you and then second child telling you, you didn't think it was that bad either.

A total bummer, though. Cheaper telly next time?

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 21/08/2012 22:27

Difficult one for me.

I think if you are expecting an offer of money, you needed to establish exactly what happened at the time, what was going on and how badly damaged the TV was.

I agree that they should have offered to pay, but then you should have checked what happened when the children were still together, and now that it has been left, it seems like it would cause aggravation to ask them for it.

girlynut · 21/08/2012 22:30

I'm surprised your insurance company haven't asked for details of your friend, given that they might be able to recover the amount they've paid out for your claim. Why don't you give your insurer a call and ask whether they would consider pursuing a recovery against your friend. If they get their money back, you get your excess back too!

Alternatively, you could ask your friend whether she has any liability cover under her own household insurance. It may well cover incidents like this.

picnicbasketcase · 21/08/2012 22:30

They should have offered, but I don't think you can ask. Are they usually thick skinned and blasé about things? If you mentioned that it couldnt be repaired, would they then offer, or brush it off?

tara0202 · 21/08/2012 22:37

My personal opinion is if you let kids play with expensive items unsupervised then you're taking a risk. I wouldn't ask the mum for the money.

However if I was the mum of the friend I would have sorted it out with you and insist I paid the excess. I'd be bloody worried though in case you asked me for 1200! Shock Grin

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