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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask for a contribution after DD's friend damaged my TV

122 replies

pixie54 · 21/08/2012 21:47

DD's friend who had come for a sleepover was playing on the WII without the wrist strap on. When "bowling" she let go of the remote thingy and it hit our tv cracking the screen and it stopped working.
Her mum was with me having a cuppa when it happened and my DD (9) came in and said that it had happened. I said to my DD 'not to worry, I'll sort it later'. Friends mum didn't comment. Then my son came in and said the tv wasn't working and again I said I'd sort it later. DD's friends mum said that her dd probably wasn't wearing the strap. Then they left, without mentioning it all.i haven't heard from her at all since. The upshot is that tv is not repairable, a new one is £1200 and I have to claim on my accidental damage cover which has a £250 excess and I lose my no claims status. Should I contact the mum and ask her to contribute? Or, do we take the view that accidents like this are something to be accepted and we should bear the cost? I don't know what the right thing to do is!! Advice please, thanks

OP posts:

maxmillie · 22/08/2012 11:07

PrideOfChanur Wed 22-Aug-12 10:08:58
So maxmillie - if you are happy for your DCs and friends to use your wii in those circumstances,that is your decision - but why should the parent of a visiting child be responsible if it goes wrong,when that isn't a decision they've made?

Pride - yes I wouldn't actually make them pay the excess or whatever - but I would expect them out of politeness to at least offer.

Our original plan was to have 2 tvs - new all singing all dancing one for us in the living room (completely OTT but I can turn it on and off by shouting at it so can keep ironing etc while controlling the telly - love it!) - ancient old crappy one in the playroom with the wii for them. However - they scoff and scorn at the old one which is non-HD, no blu ray and no 3D. They barely use it - only the little one who knows not of such technological advances as HD, 3D etc (or cares). where will it end eh? I do sometimes worry that they will end up welded to theie screens the next generation (and do limit screen time, judge ye not).

Also the Wii looks much better on the new screen ....... In hindsight I should maybe have bought 2 cheaper TVs for the price of the living room one ....

cocolepew · 22/08/2012 11:08

Kayano · 22/08/2012 11:16

She might not have known about wii's and wrist straps. I think this is OPs responsibility

FoxyRoxy · 22/08/2012 11:21

If you can afford a £1200 tv you can afford £250 excess, and if you can't then you shouldn't have been so blasé about it being damaged. For all this other mum knows your tv is fine.

Ds had a couple of friends to sleep over and despite being told not to jump on the bed in the spare room they did and they broke it. I wouldn't dream of asking the parents to pay for it. Ds just isn't allowed any more sleepovers.

Justme23 · 22/08/2012 12:06

Not true foxyroxy. For all you know the op may have been saving for months to pay for her new television.

SoupDragon · 22/08/2012 12:43

She might not have known about wii's and wrist straps. I think this is OPs responsibility

The other mother said that her DD probably hadn't been using the wrist strap. Of course she knew about them.

hawaiiWave · 22/08/2012 12:56

Yanbu.perhaps you could phone the other mother and find out what she thinks would be a fair compromise in this situation?or ask her if she knows of a good repair person?(I doubt the tv can be repaired but it gives her the opportunity to offer to pay...)

It's a great shame that you downplayed it at the time.I've certainly learned a lesson from your experience.

FoxyRoxy · 22/08/2012 13:47

justme that may be, but I could save for 5 years to buy a Ferrari but if I crashed it and I couldn't afford the excess on the insurance then I shouldn't have bought it in the first place. As I said, if it was that much of an issue the op shouldn't have been so blasé about it.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 22/08/2012 14:11

soupdragon's right about the wriststraps... she really did know about them. there's no getting away from it, the kid's familiar with gaming apparatus.

MuddlingMackem · 22/08/2012 16:07

Only read half the thread but decided to comment before reading the rest. Shame on me!

Personally, I think each of the children should be paying half of the excess. I asked DS, who's 8, what he would do if a friend came round and played on the Wii and one of the first things he said was that he would tell the friend to put the wrist strap on. Therefore I would say that the OP's daughter has to share the blame, and the expense. I think this is one of those things where the cost is divided by the number of children involved, which in this case is two. So, OP, you and your daughter should be talking to your friend and making it clear that your daughter and her daughter are paying the excess.

For those who think this is unfair, in my opinion it's similar to a bunch of kids playing football where they shouldn't and a window getting broken. Who pays? The child who actually made the kick, or all of the children equally because it was pot luck whose kick would cause damage. To me, in that scenario, all of the children are equally culpable, and this television situation is just an indoor version of that. However, YMMV.

PS Eastpoint Just seen your post about the £2 contribution. I wonder if that woman sees things the same way I do in terms of shared responsibility in certain situations.

thestringcheesemassacre · 22/08/2012 16:43

I agree with Aitch and those saying you blew it by not reacting at the point of damage. It's too late now, unless you can casually drop it into conversation with her and hope she offers up the cash.

bochead · 22/08/2012 17:19

Gotta ask - why are you letting kids play totally unsupervised on something SO expensive?

I think it's the fault of the adults - yours in particular as you know how much the boys toy is worth, your friend might not have a clue. With that in mind I think you are gonna have to chalk it up to a lesson learned.

Asda normally do a decent 22 inch for £99 - plenty big enough for kids to play on. I'd get one of those just for the kids to use in future and leave the flash toy for adult use only. one of those live and learn things iykwim.

I'd personally offer to pay towards a replacement, but tbh as I'm on benefits you'd be getting a fiver a week off me for the rest of forever to pay my share. Not a lot of help if you wanna be able to watch Eastenders this weekend iykwim. It's a moral thing. I wouldn't visit you with my kids again tho

amicissimma · 22/08/2012 17:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

valiumredhead · 22/08/2012 17:45

I agree with pictish - the OP brushed it off.

RedHelenB · 22/08/2012 19:36

My dds friends managed to break the recliner but I didn't ask for any money as it was an accident - suck it up I'm afraid!!!

SundaeGirl · 22/08/2012 19:57

OP, what will you do if she offers to replace the TV? What if she offers you one she has that isn't as nice but still a telly?

valiumredhead · 22/08/2012 23:19

My ds's friend broke my favourite lamp - wouldn't dream of saying anything - accidents happen.

flyingspaghettimonster · 23/08/2012 00:06

Muddling - I think you are wrong. If my kid was playing football with twenty other kids and one of them broke someone's window, that is their parents problem, not mine. Why should I have to pay a share just because my kid was playing football with less careful kids?

flyingspaghettimonster · 23/08/2012 00:08

OP - I feel for you - my son cracked our 58 inch Samsung and we had no insurance at all, turned out the protection plan we had been sold was a lie - it only covered the same things as the warranty. It was a very expensive lesson, as we had to save up or months to replace the tv and buy insurance.

NovackNGood · 23/08/2012 00:35

It would have been better to have gone immediately to see the damage and then called the other mother and asked her to deal with the child and what she was going to do about it the TV.

Now it is after the fact the best thing would be to call the other mother and plainly in a nice conversation say that you'v now had time to have the TV. checked and it is unable to be fixed, so she will need to replace it, however fortunately you will let her off with just the insurance excess.

MuddlingMackem · 23/08/2012 09:25

flyingspaghettimonster Well, in the football example, because if they play where something could get broken then surely they are all taking an equal risk (unless you know that any of them is spectacularly inaccurate ) and it's not just a case of being careful. In the case of football mis-kicks happen even to the best.

JustFabulous · 23/08/2012 13:34

MuddlingMac - what a ridiculous thing to say. If my children were playing with other kids and the other kid smashed a window I certainly would not be paying to have it fixed.

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