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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for a contribution after DD's friend damaged my TV

122 replies

pixie54 · 21/08/2012 21:47

DD's friend who had come for a sleepover was playing on the WII without the wrist strap on. When "bowling" she let go of the remote thingy and it hit our tv cracking the screen and it stopped working.
Her mum was with me having a cuppa when it happened and my DD (9) came in and said that it had happened. I said to my DD 'not to worry, I'll sort it later'. Friends mum didn't comment. Then my son came in and said the tv wasn't working and again I said I'd sort it later. DD's friends mum said that her dd probably wasn't wearing the strap. Then they left, without mentioning it all.i haven't heard from her at all since. The upshot is that tv is not repairable, a new one is £1200 and I have to claim on my accidental damage cover which has a £250 excess and I lose my no claims status. Should I contact the mum and ask her to contribute? Or, do we take the view that accidents like this are something to be accepted and we should bear the cost? I don't know what the right thing to do is!! Advice please, thanks

OP posts:
cocolepew · 21/08/2012 22:44

I would have been totally apologetic and offered some money, I do think you shouldn't have played it down.

I would have been really pissed off if It had happened to me.

Floggingmolly · 21/08/2012 22:56

You were a bit silly not to inspect the tv when the mum was still on the premises. She'd have had to be extremely hard faced not to offer when actually faced with the damage. I'm not sure you can reasonably bring it up now, though, the moment has passed.
Btw, are you sure your tv costs £1200? I say that as ours cost just short of £2000 about 6 years ago. If we bought it now it would cost around £500... Smile

ErikNorseman · 22/08/2012 05:29

Girlynut that is the snidest thing I have read on here for a while! Honestly!

SittingBull · 22/08/2012 05:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jubilee10 · 22/08/2012 05:51

If I learnt that my ds had accidentally broken a £1200 tv playing the wii on it I would assume that, if you were allowing them to play unsupervised with it, you had adequate insurance to cover it. I would not offer any money and, by the same token, would not ask for money if it happened at my house. I would consider it to be my responsibility. My tv certainly didn't cost £1200 though!

If I was asked to split the excess I would consider it but the children's friendship would be a thing of the past.

TyrannoSoreArse · 22/08/2012 07:57

Not really sure why you're being told that since it's an expensive TV, it's down to you to cover the full cost when a guest damages it. So presumably if it was a piece of crap 10" screen that cost £50, the OP could ask for some help paying? That doesn't make sense.

I think your friend was extremely rude for not checking the extent of the damage or offering to contribute. She left her child unsupervised using the toy and her child damaged it. However, if I were you I'd probably suck it up and pay for it myself. If she's the sort who'll just leave and not get in contact afterwards, she'll probably refuse to contribute anyway and it will just cause bad feeling.

BonnieBumble · 22/08/2012 08:05

I wouldn't expect the mum to offer to pay. I certainly wouldn't offer.

Your house therefore you were responsible for supervising them. Accidents happen.

Proudnscary · 22/08/2012 08:09

Good God no I would not ask for the money!

Stuff gets damaged when kids are around.

Saying that if I were the mum of the offending (!) child, I'd have reprimanded them and offered to pay something towards it (though fully expecting to be told not to be silly).

Proudnscary · 22/08/2012 08:10

In fact if you came to me asking for a contribution I would a) genuinely think you were joking and b) when I realised you weren't, I'd cough up then strike you off my friend's list straight away.

WilsonFrickett · 22/08/2012 08:12

I think the point of the price is that most of us could find £25 (our half of a 50 quid telly) Tyranno. Few of us could lay our hands on £125 (half the excess) and even fewer could magic up £600! Maybe the other mother panicked?

Eastpoint · 22/08/2012 08:14

My son has been round to a friend's house 3 times. Each time the mum has texted me to say something has been broken could I please give her £2 to pay for it. I have always said yes. However he doesn't go there anymore - each time it has been group sleepovers & other boys have broken things but she has asked all the parents to contribute.

Unless you want major fallout just keep quiet. but you probably won't feel the same about them anyway unless you are way better than I am at forgive & forget

TyrannoSoreArse · 22/08/2012 08:15

Ah that makes sense Wilson (it's early, sorry). Yeah I couldn't find £125. Luckily all my friends are as skint as me so they only have tiny telly's Grin

ILiveInAPineapple · 22/08/2012 08:20

I think YABU, sorry.
If that was me, I would just claim on my insurance, since that is what it is there for. I wouldn't expect my friend to even offer and if she did I would say no. I certainly wouldn't ask.
With the same token, if my DS had caused the damage I wouldn't expect to have to pay. These things happen.

It would be different if it was a small item like a vase or something easily replaceable, then I think you should offer to replace, but TVs are expensive objects, and that is why we have insurance.

downbythewater · 22/08/2012 08:32

I agree you should have looked at the damage when she was there, especially when they said the tv was broken.

As you weren't in the room so noone was supervising I don't think you can hold the other mum responsible- both girls could have been messing about playing catch with the wii remotes for all you know, for example.

valiumredhead · 22/08/2012 08:36

I'm with proud no way would I ask, it could as easily have been your dc's that damaged something in someone else's house.

Stuff gets damaged when kids are around.

kim147 · 22/08/2012 08:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon · 22/08/2012 08:41

it could as easily have been your dc's that damaged something in someone else's house.

Yes, and I would offer to pay for any damage they caused. Especially damage of this level.

Does the mother have any idea about the level of damage? By your reaction at the time, she may think it's no big deal/was minor.

bamboostalks · 22/08/2012 08:47

Eastpoint Cannot get over this woman asking you for £2 every time your ds is round there! What sort of stuff is he breaking? Sounds like a racket to me. What a cheek.

HiHowAreYou · 22/08/2012 08:49

Judge Judy says, ahem, that if someone is in your home as an invited guest, any accidental damage is your responsibility to pay for.
And I agree with her. It was an accident. That's what your insurance is for.

QuintessentialShadows · 22/08/2012 08:56

Well, you made it an everyday occurrence by brushing it under the carpet and saying you would sort it later. You let the woman and her daughter off the hook quite pointedly by not making a fuss, not going in to see the damage with her, etc. I dont think you can expect anything, and I dont think you can approach her about this now. This is the sort of thing that needs sorting and agreeing upon there and then.

My friends son damaged our dvd player, I let it pass, as the player was old, cheap, and the friendship worth more.

HariboMonster · 22/08/2012 09:10

My TV cost around £1200 2 years ago. It's a 47" 3D smart one. I wouldn't ask for payment. I would put it down to experience and claim on the insurance.

Chandon · 22/08/2012 09:19

sorry, but Shock at a £1,200 TV!

Must have been a super wow 42 inch thingy, or something?

Not sure what I'd do. I think I would just accept it as my loss, but not let the kids play again on such an expensive piece of kit!

I have a very nice 32 inch Samsung which I bought for 300. Maybe have "kids TV? even buy a second hand one off e-bay or something? For use with the WII)

Vaginald · 22/08/2012 09:24

I would I only ask if she'd broken it deliberately, this was just a simple mistake- she's only 9!

DowagersHump · 22/08/2012 09:26

You can't ask for the money - it's not her fault that you let your children play on the wii with a really expensive telly.

Claim on your insurance and wall hang the replacement - it's much less likely to get damaged.

Justme23 · 22/08/2012 09:28

If you are friends surely asking for a contribution is reasonable? To be fair the friend probably should have said they would help, I would, but their financial status might not be particularly stable and it might be a bit much.

I would definitely speak to her though.

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