relatives "dropping in" without calling first

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I think it's rude, when people (not living round the corner who are in and out of the house the whole time) but say 1hr drive away turn up unannounced, at a mealtime, without calling first. AIBU? My DH thinks so, and thinks it would cause great offence if I asked them to call first?

My house is generally a tip, and multitutinous undies get taken out of the drier during the day and heaped on the sofa for sorting. I feel quite embarrassed, especially when relatives visit, if I haven't had a chance to tidy up. I'd always call ahead before visiting, even someone 5 mins away, come to think of it, as it isn't that hard to send a text. I find it a bit presumptuous the idea that you can drop in on someone at any time. However, I am aware that I may be acting southern and uptight. This is also not my native country, so I may have missed some cultural norm about this issue.

AIBU here?

I don't like drop-ins either OP, could you say something like - aah, if I'd known I would have got some food in/tidied/baked a cake/ gone out for the day whichever is appropriate for you.

I find it very strange and hostile and actually f*cked up that those who are happy with dropping in feel the need to attack those who aren't.

Very hostile indeed. Odd, for such warm and cuddly folks.

P.S. I hate being dropped in on.

So hate unplanned visitors too - glad I'm not the only one!

This thread makes me feel so much better. My auntie and uncle dropped in the other day to see new baby and I was completely thrown. I have 3 month old and toddler. And they gave me no warning. It wouldnt have hurt to give me just a 5 min warning, thy have my mobile number. I still had unemptied potty in lounge! But I thought I was being a bit uptight not being more welcoming to them. Glad to feel others are te same.

My MIL and SIL pop in unannounced all the time. I find it quite rude but it's obviously the norm for my DHs family. There was one time my MIL turned up at 9pm that my DH did say something!
If I'm honest although I like his mum she had a poor background where all the neighbours just did that to help each other out and she can't quite see that it's not appropriate now. We both work and sometimes I know she calls when we are out. Just makes no sense wasted trip!

I hate unannounced visitors, I think it's so rude not to even ring five minutes before. Gives me a chance to

• Put the dog in the garden (she barks, once, when the doorbell goes. But loud enough to wake the baby)
• Tidy
• Put my bra on (I always take my bra off in the privacy of my own home, and the only people who should see this is DH and DDs, not uncle and auntie 'can't take a hint' who've seen my 36GGs in nothing but a tight vest far more times than I'm comfortable with)

I love anyone popping in to see me.And my family just knock the door and come on in.Which is what we have told them to do. BUt its different for me because my children are now adults.It was not the same story when they were young and i would get various friends turning up all the time with their children too.

DP and I both work. We also have to juggle various after school activities. So there's not much time for popper-inners to pop in. So I do appreciate a little notice which would help the popper inner to avoid wasting their time if we're not there.

Because while it may be different to other people's experience, I have a group of popper inners who have a problem with the idea that it may not be convenient or I might even not be there at all. This group of people have the firm conviction that if they have decided to pop in (unannouced) then I have to be there, regardless of what I am actually doing.

Most of my circle are happy with the idea that popping in means the risk of people not being home, it's just this group.

I've even had a phone call from someone when I was at work (during my normal hours, that I've done for ages and this person knows) asking why I wasn't at home as they'd popped round.

See, Darts, that would enrage me,even though I generally don't mind popper-inners.