MIL

[londonandwhere]

My MIL ever said to me 'I will expect you to be there.'' when I made her upset and offered an apology'. She meant to say she would receive my apology when she wants to do. I found these words were disrespectful and she was being bossy to me, which she isnt supposed to do.
Have you ever heard this kind of words from your MIL? Would you discribe she abused me?

she meants what happened on email was past time

What the what now?!

Ok, so basically you are in a sulk because you were made to apologise for being rude?

How old are you?

eh?

OK, that was you expanding and explaining further Vivi's timeline?

Right. So my advice is - let it go. She's your DH's mum. Seriously, if this is the only hassle you've had with her, it's not that big a deal.

And by not seeing her you're only making yourself look childish. Even to us random internet sprites you're not coming up smelling of roses.

"she thinks so but I dont think I was being rude"

ok so what happened? IN what way does she think you were rude? This is the important bit for people to determine if what you did/said needed an apology.

I think it's only fair she has to apologise to me for saying '' I expect you to ..."? like I did.

asked DH to be OP's side if MiL will do inappopriate behaviours in future

So has something arisen which has tested this request?

ok so what happened? IN what way does she think you were rude? This is the important bit for people to determine if what you did/said needed an apology.

Yes, this is indeed the important bit. And I am bored and nosey

Why should she apologise to you for that?

The reason why I dont see her is because I need to live on. I feel I'm a victim.
I am in a vernerable condition emotionally because of her. She is my trauma and even thinking of her makes me sick

Apologise to be rude to me. It seems none of your MIL say such things which you say to your students as a professor. I have no reason to be told like that I believe.

Errr....?

Lost again,sorry. Can you be a bit less cryptic please?

WTAF?

OP are you drunk?

On email I asked her not to keep asking about my job especially what she said 'you will have to get a job to make yourself occupied'
Also I said I didnt feel I'm treated equally with DH to receive half of money for my b'day present.

Do you feel that she talks down to you as would a professor to a student?

That's sometimes the way of things with The MiLs. I find that nodding politely where necessary then trying not to give it a moments' thought for the remainder of the time tends to keep my emotional condition stable and trauma-free.

I never felt that she talks down to me until she used that expression on email so I was shocked to find her real face.

Anyone else reported this?

London it's a bit late to expect an apology from your MIL. You need to let go and move on, then you will be the better person. You are letting her upset you, this has gone on for years - if she hasn't apologised by now then she's very unlikely to apologise at all.

You are making yourself a victim. If you don't see her anymore then don't think about her!

OP, could it be that there is some misunderstanding going on, rather than intentional rudeness? I'm finding your posts a little hard to understand myself, so clearly it's easily done.

Perhaps she was just using formal vocabulary and you misread her tone as being condescending. Do you and her share the same mother tongue? I imagine the capacity for misunderstanding must be rather great if you do not.

Your DH seems content with how things are, your MiL is no longer bothering you and you get to lead your life without dealing with her. Struggling to see your problem here.

Pickles I assumed that english wasn't the OP's first language actually, rather than anything else.

Besides, it's a bit like doing a crossword puzzle. Confusing, but ultimately rewarding

Just seen a few threads like this in
The last few days. Sorry to speculate

Where have students and professors come from?
At the end of the day op, yabu because we can only go from the information you have given.
From that info it seems
You upset mil
You didn't think you did
Dh asked you to apologise
You did via email and OFFERED a face to face apology
She accepted that offer and arrange a time to meet and confirmed you would be there
You apologised she accepted
You disliked her before for causing you 'trauma'
Now you hate her
You are still bothered by this as you think there is some sort of 'power game' going on.

Imo you are embellishing the trauma. If she had caused such damage why would you be ok with your husband thinking she has done nothing wrong. It also suggests hr thi is you are wrong, why does it not bother you that your dh doesn't see the damage she has done.

Also she probably doesn't give a shot about power games, has accepted you won't speak to her and is carrying on as normal.

The only person being damaged by this is you. And the damage you are causing yourself, is you choice
not mils fault.

She is English and I'm not a native English speaker. Thank you all for your advice. It was helpful.