to be very very upset that my friend gave my DC a sip of coffee.

[megandraper]

DS is 4. He is also coeliac.

In a cafe, while I was in the loo, apparently. Friend was giving her own child a sip of coffee, and offered DS one too. DS said 'Is it gluten free?' Friend said 'Yes', and gave it to him.

I don't think you should give other people's young children coffee, but especially not when they are coeliac. Friend could not have known if the coffee was safe. Even a tiny sip of anything that has been contaminated will cause damage. It wasn't her decision to make. Before I went to the loo, we had just been discussing the difficulty of ensuring safe food (I brought food for DS to the cafe, he didn't eat theirs).

I only found out several days later, when DS mentioned it. This may explain the tummy ache he had for a few days.

It just makes me feel very upset. I work so hard to ensure that DS has safe food, and there is still a long way to go before all his pre-diagnosis damage is repaired and he's back to full health.

Unlikely to see this friend again for a long time (we were visiting her town, which is a long way from ours) so may not be worth raising with her. It's just another worry. I've already had the 'always ask if something is gf' conversation with DS, now I will have to have the 'who can you trust to give you an accurate answer' conversation too.

i can't believe people are getting their knickers in a knot about 1 sip of coffee, even putting aside the coeliac issue. It isn't arsenic

My Dad has Coeliac and he always has coffee when he visits! I had no idea it may contain gluten.

its not arsenic but it is caffine and we are talking about a child the has I assume intentinal scaring. If this is a problem for the OP then it is only resonable she is upset. She is posting her and not throwing a tantrum at her friend!

I think YABU.

There is no gluten in coffee, unless it had something else in it.

And 1 sip isn't going to upset his tummy for days. He must have had something else to do that.

1 sip of coffee DOES upset some people for days -that's why I had to stop drinking it.

I think yabu, it's only a sip of coffee.

The thing is alot of posters are talking about adults. How I guess have their condition under control.

The op may be a little PFA (Precious First Allergy) but we don´t acutally KNOW that.

What she is worring about is that presubily her Child asked and adult how gave an opinion which may be right or wrong. Its HARD guys.

My DD is lactose intollerant and despit LOTS and LOTS of help and support for Grandparents DD would still come home with terrible symptoms which I/DP have to deal with and manage becuase they gave her chocolate biscuits. NOT only did they give her food with lactose in they told her they where safe. That is NOT on! The op may be wrong on this occassion but the greater implication is that when can he Child trust and Adult to read a package or ask!

I don't have kids and don't know (or rather care) about the rights a wrongs of giving a child a sip of coffee. be affronted about that if you like.

Don't make this about being a coeliac. Its a massive pain in the arse, BUT a slip is not going to irreparably damage his bowel (not that this was a slip, but, well, you know what I mean). Don't make it more than it is.

My god raising anation of wimps is so true.

If OP's ds is very allergic then even a tiny sip will upset him just as touching nut will land my ds in hospital.

my DD has a serious nut allergy.

My DM gave her chocolate with hazelnuts in it, accidentally. Fortunately we discovered then that she is not allergic to hazelnuts.

I didn't for a minute feel annoyed with my mum as it was a mistake made in genuine ignorance.

It is nothing to do with being a wimp or pub

He isn't allergic to caffeine though as far as the OP knows, so it is different I think?

I mean I think the OP's friend genuinely believed the coffee was OK for him or would obviously not have given it, so it was just an unfortunate mistake and doesn't imply that she is a bad person.

But he is so allergic that IF the coffee had come into contact with other stuff like syrup then it would've upset him - she shouldn't have been giving the child ANYTHING without checking.

pub+ pfb

= ffs!

Well no, but thats neither here nor there, the result would've been the same - a very poor child.

poorly

God, my typos today!!!

it's really hard to have that level of awareness if it's not your child with the allergy, I find it hard to be ultra careful myself even when it comes to DD

I think you are being unreasonable too. Coffee is usually gluten free and even if it was not your son cannot live in a bubble and needs to gradually learn to negotiate this difficult stuff for himself. Which he is clearly already doing rather brilliantly, remembering to ask all the right questions but not letting his illness curb his enthusiasm for the new.:) Mistakes can happen. I suspect it is a no-brainer to conclude that your reaction stems fairly and squarely from the huge worry you've had about your son's health and so is very understandable. But I agree with those who've suggested that now could be the time to start fighting against letting his condition dominate everything.

fanjo I would never expect anyone else to police what ds eats but I don't expect friends who know how serious his allergy is to risk giving him food.

And allergies DO dominate everything, there's not much getting away from that sadly.

But i cant imagine anyone who isn't coeliac or related to someone who is would think that coffee was "unsafe".

(I am aware of how allergies dominate everything btw, DD is allergic to nuts, fish , eggs, lentils, peas, beans, soya and polyester..the joys :))

I imagine she thought coffee had no gluten; imo you're overreacting hugely

fanjo my last comment was to scummy I should've made that clear.