To ask what your Ex pays in maintenance and your arrangements

[EmptyCrispPackets]

As per the other AIBU thread re ex paying towards school uniform costs, I'm wondering what yep of arrangement you have with ex re maintenance, and is it through CSA or mutual?

Does ex see child(ren) regularly & does he pay towards extras (uniforms, school trips and so on)

£40pw from ex husband for dc1 & 2 he has them once per week 10am till 6pm and once overnight at Christmas although this year he took them camping for a week.

£70 a month for dc 3 from ex partner. He is supposed to have him once in the week and once at the weekend but needs reminding and refuses of he thinks it will get one over on me by spoiling my plans.

Why did I reproduce with such cretins!

Zero, wouldn't agree to see DD EOW and has chosen to terminate contact. He has indicated that he might reappear when DD is 13 because he thinks dealing directly with a teen with Daddy abandonment issues is going to be a lot easier than with me. I could go after him but quite frankly, it's a small price to pay for not having that idiot in our lives (however, if he does reappear, I will enforce the collection of maintenance and the arrears).

Nothing but because he's not in the country.

my ex is very generous - a mixture of being rich and feeling guilty

we have a private arrangement and he always pays on time - he also gives me money for holiday spends etc

he sees them 3 times a week overnight

oh and yes he will contribute to school trips, uniform, hobbies etc

DS1- nothing and he is £2o thousand in arrears. Is in fact taking csa to tribunal hundreds of miles away- they offered to pay for me to attend. Now decides he wants another DNA test. Ds is 18....

DS2- was paying £ 150 but after refusing to help buy uniform for 6foot child I went to csa. Told to pay £450 a month. I agreed to £3oo as he has three other children .

DS3 £200 a month was reduced from £500 as he had a very well paid job abroad (10,000 a month) and since being home is unemployed (although Sat on a pot of loot) does pay for extras though.

I am far luckier now than I have been. I have had to fight tooth and nail and now I don't feel guilty. I work hard but I can't do everything.....

My ex? Pay? For his dcs?...

They got a tenner between them for Xmas.

My DD1 is now 20. When me and her Dad first split, he gave me £60 per month and paid half towards all her extras, tae kwon do lessons, school uniform, girls brigade camp, music lessons etc. I only had to ask and he would give me the money. I then told him it wasn't enough and it went up to £80 per month.

I could have pushed for the CSA decreed amount of around £125, but felt a regular amount with more when needed was right and fair.

He never once let me down in this. He is although this sticks in the throat a good dad, in spite of being a cheating bastard of a bad husband!

Fuck all here. Despite him recently inheriting a six figure sum.

He has other children and pays five pound a week between them. Doesn't work and spends a lot of time dicking around trying to see his other kids. He has been refused contact via a court order.
Has not clapped eyes on ds ever.

I think XH gives me more than anyone else on this thread. He's extremely rich though, so it's small change to him. It was originally a higher court-ordered amount, but we have reduced it privately.

He does not see the DCs regularly. In the good times, he'll come to see them every second or third weekend, but he also goes through periods (months/years) where he refuses to have anything to do with them. Sometimes he'll take them on expensive holidays, buy them designer clothes etc, but then a week later will drop out of their lives completely.

I view the money as compensation for the emotional fuckwittery.

I get 0 and he has only seen her a handful of times in 14 years and not at all for five years. He also quits as soon as csa get onto him!
I can't even be bothered to chase it anymore.

£80pw, plus most things kiddo asks for. We split the costs of big things and holiday childcare. He spoils her, but then so does everyone else.

We get on 95% of the time, which is priceless.