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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think you can have a nice house with children and pets

128 replies

ruledbyheart · 16/08/2012 21:11

Thats it really.
I live in nice house and have worked hard to get it looking as it does I have two dogs and 3 children under 5yrs, I am a sahm so have the time to keep it nice and I spend time all my time with DC'S they even help me clean - through choice not order.

My mum and some of my friends who have come round have commented on it and act like I must ignore my DC'S and never do anything messy - I love baking and painting with my little ones and we do make mess, they do just generally make me feel like I have OCD ( I don't).

AIBU?

OP posts:

Gilberte · 16/08/2012 21:18

I personally think life's too short for housework and I don't think on my death bed I'll be saying "I wish I'd cleaned more".

If I do try and do a bit of cleaning, the DCs just mess it up again so I basically make sure I stay on top of washing up, washing and have a quick hoover, dustpan and brush round/ tidy of toys at end of day and that's it.

However, if you want to have a really nice clean house and have the time to do it that's fine too. It's personal choice isn't it.

RubyVaultingGates · 16/08/2012 21:19

Well, YOU might be able to, but I certainly can't.
YABU

Meglet · 16/08/2012 21:22

It depends on whether you work, how big your house is (ie; is there any storage for anything) and how well behaved your DC's are.

Therefore my house is messy. I can't stand it but I can't build cupboards or stop work to make it look nicer.

Ideally I would love a white, minimalist box of a home but it ain't gonna happen.

Bongaloo · 16/08/2012 21:24

You must have to hoover everyday to keep your house nice with 2 dogs.

Fun.

motherinferior · 16/08/2012 21:24

I have a nice house with children and pets. I am very fond of it. It is also falling apart, not exactly tidy, and frequently in need of a bit of a brush up, but then aren't we all.

KellyElly · 16/08/2012 21:24

Of course you can. You just have to clean and tidy more than people who don't have kids and pets.

OneOfMyTurnsComingOn · 16/08/2012 21:25

I suppose it depends if you can be arsed.

Coprolite · 16/08/2012 21:26

I'm not entirely sure I can manage that without children and pets....

Original poster

ruledbyheart · 16/08/2012 21:28

I aspire to having a pretty home for my DCs sad I know but I think it stems back to my childhood.
I do spend a lot of time with my little DC's and do do fun things with them most of the housework I do is when they are out with their dad or asleep.
This wasn't aimed at anyother person on here, I just get upset at my mums snidey comments and some of my friends.

OP posts:

rhondajean · 16/08/2012 21:29

Depends what you call nice. I think my house is nice - but I am sure some people would think its a tip and I'm a slattern.

I think its much harder to have a children and keep your house immaculate if that's heat you mean.

Coprolite · 16/08/2012 21:29

As it is,with children and pets,I only stay one step ahead of squalor much of the time,if I'm honest.

NameChangeGalore · 16/08/2012 21:29

No you're not. Good luck.

quoteunquote · 16/08/2012 21:30

There is a saying, "No one will ever remember you, for having a clean house",

and honestly, who would want to remembered for that?

make sure you prioritise the things in life they will remember you for, more kite flying and puddle jumping, less shiny taps.

Coprolite · 16/08/2012 21:30

Oh,and YANBU.

Fair play to you,with 2 dogs and three under 5's!

Original poster

ruledbyheart · 16/08/2012 21:31

I'm very lucky neither of my dogs moult thanksfully - dont know what breed they are exactly as I rescued them and it was a stroke of luck

OP posts:

motherinferior · 16/08/2012 21:31

If I'm honest, the Inferiority Complex can pass for shabby-bohemian at its very very best, and that's only because we have loads of books. Strip the books out and you've just got the cats and the Inferiorettes, plus attendant detritus.

TeWiDoesTheHulaInHawaii · 16/08/2012 21:32

I understand where you're coming from ruledbyheart I get comments like that from my mum.

But our house was vile growing up (sounds like maybe yours was too?) so frankly she can jog on.

Our house is quite small so I wouldn't even say I spend that long cleaning! Probably only an hour or two in small bits and pieces through the day.

AgentZigzag · 16/08/2012 21:32

'I spend time all my time with DC'S they even help me clean - through choice not order.'

I'm sure that'll wear off at some point.

Anyway, there's nothing wrong with 'ordering' them to help out, although they're a bit young at the min for telling them to, nothing wrong with coercion bribery manipulating them nicely into wanting to do it.

What has it got to do with anyone else whether you keep your house tidy or not? What you're really saying is 'my mum and friends think my house is too clean and tidy'

So would they prefer it to be a shitheap? Do they think you're a bit superior because you keep a clean house and theirs is a bit messy?

What's the reason they're telling you this do you think? Because you seem to be implying they think you should spend more time with your children (who don't go to school and with you all day) and less time cleaning.

Very odd.

JumpingThroughHoops · 16/08/2012 21:33

You have two sorts of homes in this life.

One with kids in, that is a bit tatty round the edges, then you have your dream home when they've left and you can have your nice cushions etc.

I think I've told this story before about my friend who has a very controlling husband. So much so that the kids aren't allowed to step on his grass in case they mark his lawn? She's a depressed, anti-depressant wreck, a little too much on the cooking sherry because he likes everything just so and the terrible black moods if it isn't aren't worth an evening.

She has a lovely house, redecorated every 8-10 months at his behest. She doesn't have a home. Mind you she doesnt have a life either.

cantspel · 16/08/2012 21:33

There seems to be some sort of gold badge to be earned among some mnetters for not doing housework. A bit like the old brownie homekeeper bag but in reverse.

Of course it is not impossible or unreasonable to have pets, kids and a clean home.

TeWiDoesTheHulaInHawaii · 16/08/2012 21:33

And it's definately not immaculate, just a lot nicer than my parents house.

TeWiDoesTheHulaInHawaii · 16/08/2012 21:34

One to 2 hours of cleaning sounds like a lot, I'm including laundry and tidying up after small children etc in that.

lavenderfields · 16/08/2012 21:35

YANBU, I am the same although I haven't risked a pet yet for fear off it ruining my sofas and carpets!

cheesesarnie · 16/08/2012 21:35

I think it depends on your definition of nice house and clean/ tidy?

I think my house is nice, it is clean but not often tidy.

I like the lived in look (honest)! Our house is big so once I've done a few rooms, they are messy by the time I've done a few more.

I'm a full time student and I like to spend my time at home with the children, messing around, playing, walking etc. Although obviously we do make time to tidy, its not a priority.

lucky you

methsdrinker · 16/08/2012 21:35

Have you got a vase of twigs? Twigs sans barbie knickers and glitter. Artfully arranged bowl of stones without adrift of lentils and beads. White walls up the stairs without a grey tide of hand prints. Sigh. I haven't and never could . I have 2 girls and no dogs. my house is a pink bin with broken bits a food detritus hidden in strange places.

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