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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think you can have a nice house with children and pets

128 replies

ruledbyheart · 16/08/2012 21:11

Thats it really.
I live in nice house and have worked hard to get it looking as it does I have two dogs and 3 children under 5yrs, I am a sahm so have the time to keep it nice and I spend time all my time with DC'S they even help me clean - through choice not order.

My mum and some of my friends who have come round have commented on it and act like I must ignore my DC'S and never do anything messy - I love baking and painting with my little ones and we do make mess, they do just generally make me feel like I have OCD ( I don't).

AIBU?

OP posts:
iMoniker · 17/08/2012 06:09

My house is lovely and clean today - the cleaner has been (she comes once a fortnight).

At other times, we run a reasonably clean and tidy ship - we have a dog, 2 cats, 3 kids and both work full time.

It's definitely not impossible. In our house, it's essential to keep things tidy and organised - if we don't, then life becomes impossible to manage. Being tidy is a necessity not a luxury.

freshfruitsalad · 17/08/2012 06:26

I think just keeping on top of the dishes, pet hair, clothes washing, and kitchen is enough, the rest can wait a week

I'm not a big cleaner but have made a big effort since going in maternity leave and getting into habits before little one arrives, hoping it lasts Grin

buggyRunner · 17/08/2012 06:28

It's easy to do and not unreasonable.

However-
Storage
Space
Helpful children
Helpful dps are a must

NorksAreMessy · 17/08/2012 06:30

Three dogs, a cat, two teenagers and four OOTH jobs between DH and myself.

Two tricks to keeping he house COMFORTABLY clean and tidy (not a show home, but not a midden either)

  1. Everybody helps
  2. I don't watch TV unless I am ironing
Losingitall · 17/08/2012 06:32

Life's too short!
I swear if in my death bed I think "oh how tidy my house was"

Then I've failed big time

There are so many other more important things to be proud of.

MaggotMummy · 17/08/2012 06:36

I try, I really do try, I win possibly 75% of the time too.

I was brought up in a grubby disorganised way and I really have a problem with it now, I surprise myself how much I still resent that my things were broken/got eaten by dogs/got grubby 30 odd years ago.

My mum has commented that I make too much of an effort when she comes here (I don't) and we have just had a row because dd wanted to help her clean her kitchen because it was 'a bit stinky' .... And she thought I put her up to it (dd is only 2.9)

Sorry, rambling, yes it is possible, yes I think it is essential to be organised and to clear as you go, yes everyone should pitch in
Isn't life just easier that you don't have to have a mad tidy if someone is coming round?

MaggotMummy · 17/08/2012 06:37

I have 3 cats,a dog that moults like nothing I've ever met, chickens that want to live in the kitchen and fish

iMoniker · 17/08/2012 06:43

For me, its not so much about being proud it's about keeping on top of things and running an harmonious, economical home.

If the house is untidy / dirty, then everything starts to fall apart:

  • The morning routine goes out the window if the uniforms aren't laundered and packed away along with all school stuff.
  • The bills get out of control if the filing isn't done properly.
  • We end up spending more than we should on eating out/takeaways, as by the time dinner rolls around, we are so knackered from trying to catchup on outstanding chores, actually raise the children and do a days' work, we just can't be bothered cooking.
  • When I am organised, I am economical with grocery shopping, planning birthday presents and other big expenditure etc.
HecateHarshPants · 17/08/2012 06:54

Yes, of course you can - if you are constantly cleaning and tidying or if you don't allow your children to make any mess.

I choose to go down the tidying route because it's a miserable childhood spent being afraid of dropping crumbs in your own home! So they make mess and I follow behind tidying it up. And they follow behind me untidying it again

It's not difficult to clean, it's just really, really, really boring Grin

forevergreek · 17/08/2012 07:05

Ours is clean and tidy
We do however have a hidden place for everything!
No open bookshelves etc as clutter builds up, so all cupboards/ shelves have doors from floor to ceiling. Any remaining gaps have lidded baskets.

So when toys out it looks like a bomb hit it, but after 5 mins room can be transformed to adult minimal room as everything in boxes/ behind cupboards

lovebunny · 17/08/2012 07:45

good for you! i'm going to make you my role model...Grin

WoodlandHills · 17/08/2012 07:52

YANBU

i grew up in a messy home and i was embarassed about it

and probably as a consequence i am completely the other way and probably a bit too obsessed with keeping mine clean and tidy

we don't have dogs though

Callisto · 17/08/2012 08:03

What is your definition of 'nice' though? I don't have a nice house, I have a gorgeous and unusual house that I love. It can occasionally be messy and sometimes it is a bit of a shit tip, but it's never just 'nice'.

ILiveInAPineapple · 17/08/2012 08:07

YANBU, it is perfectly possible. I have 4 (small dogs) and one DS who is 4.
I work full time, and I still have a nice house. We Hoover at least once a day, clean the kitchen every day and bathrooms every 2-3 days, dust at least once a week and tidy the toys every night once my DS goes to bed.
We tend to do most of the cleaning when DS is in bed or playing by himself, as he doesn't want to help us. We do plenty of messy things, we just spend quite a lot of time cleaning at night.

We choose to do this much cleaning, it's a personal choice. My DH grew up in a shithole messy and dirty house, and really doesn't like living in mess, so he is always tidying and cleaning too. It doesn't take too long if you do a little bit every day, I probably spend say 30-40 mins a day if it's just me here, and probably 20 mins each if my DH is here too.

That said, I don't think cleaning is the end of the world, if I wanted to do something else watch tv then I wouldn't feel bad for not doing housework. I just prefer to do it in the evenings than spend my entire weekend doing it like my parents used to when I am not working.

Having kids and dogs does not automatically stop you having a nice house.

Morloth · 17/08/2012 08:13

I have a clean house with kids and a pet.

For two reasons LOTS of storage and a cleaner.

I keep it pretty tidy but I am not going to spend too much time on it, it doesn't affect my happiness either way, so I have better things to be doing.

If it does effect how you feel then you should do what works for you.

ithaka · 17/08/2012 08:14

It is entirely up to you. I have one or two friends with children and immaculate homes. They are lovely mums and their children are in no way neglected.

I have plenty of friends with slightly messy/lived in homes. They are lovely mums and their children are in no way neglected.

So I see it as entirely your choice, if you can be bothered (I can't, plus I work and would always rather earn money than tidy).

diddl · 17/08/2012 08:19

"There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse."

I think my teenagers are currently channeling Quentin Crisp!

NumericalMum · 17/08/2012 08:24

I have the opposite tale. I grew up in a pristine house where my mum had a cleaner 3 times a week (not in the uk) and then still spent most of her time tidying. We weren't allowed to bake, we weren't allowed to paint or make any mess. My mum often comments how our house isn't tidy all the time (in her very subtle way) but does say how much she loves watching DC baking and unpacking all her toys to play without anyone stopping her.
We both work full time (DH also works very long hours) and have cats and other than washing and tidying up at the end of the day we don't clean other than the cleaner once a week. Perhaps we are terribly dirty but after a full day at work, putting child to bed, cooking dinner and tidying up I rarely could care less whether the house is spotless!

avivabeaver · 17/08/2012 08:39

i have a male friend who is similar- everything in its place and tidy. It is really important to him because he lived in a cramped untidy flat with older relatives in his childhood and any reminder of that is stressful.

wordfactory · 17/08/2012 08:47

Yes you can have a tidy/clean home but there is a compromise to make. What time you spend keeping it that way cannot be spent on time spent elsehwere.

No one has more hours in the day than anyone else.

People who say it doesn't take much time to keep a house pristine are not being honest with themselves. Perhaps becuase it is a habit they don't now see how much time they spend doing it.

If you choose to priritsie a tidy house then that is your choice. It should never come before spending time with DC/allowing them to make a mess. But there a thousand other things that can come after housework, I think. It all depends what you value and what you don't.

EddieGrundy · 17/08/2012 09:00

Congratulations on your clean and tidy house OP. I also have three DCs and dog in tow. My house is rather messy and not wonderfully clean in places at the moment. I don't see the point in having a massive clean and tidy during the summer holidays as it will be messy again within an hour. You obviously have very tidy pets and children. Mine are not programmed that way Sad.

LST · 17/08/2012 09:00

YANBU OP. I enjoy cleaning as I love the end result. I have 3 cats a baby and a very undomesticated DP and people always comment on how it looks like I live alone.

I love having a clean house Smile

Casserole · 17/08/2012 09:00

I have 2 kids, 2 dogs and a cat and my house is probably one of the cleanest and tidiest I know.

I have loads of storage, and I don't let things get too bad. Do a pick up at the end of each day and try and keep on top of things as I go, really. It's not at all hard to maintain, it's harder to get there in the first place.

I don't judge anyone who doesn't keep things like i do. I just find it more relaxing to have my house this way.

ouryve · 17/08/2012 09:04

...Surveys floor...

It must just be a vicious rumour.

Losingitall · 17/08/2012 09:08

I love the comments "it's no one else's business"

This was a question on AIBU!

Isn't that the whole bloody point of the thing?