to think you can have a nice house with children and pets

[ruledbyheart]

Thats it really.
I live in nice house and have worked hard to get it looking as it does I have two dogs and 3 children under 5yrs, I am a sahm so have the time to keep it nice and I spend time all my time with DC'S they even help me clean - through choice not order.

My mum and some of my friends who have come round have commented on it and act like I must ignore my DC'S and never do anything messy - I love baking and painting with my little ones and we do make mess, they do just generally make me feel like I have OCD ( I don't).

AIBU?

I have a friend who has an immaculate house with two DCs and a hairy retriever. It seems to make some people a bit insecure and there's a fair amount of snide comments that get chucked her way. Makes me a bit cross as she never says anything negative about other peoples' houses and I've witnessed other people make her feel bad a few times, very rude.

She says she finds it much less stressful to keep at it on a daily basis so it never gets out of hand. I like going there as I'm hoping to absorb her tidiness genes by osmosis, it just hasn't quite happened.

We all have different priorities and different concepts of clean/ tidy. As long as your house is functional and hygienic, what's the issue?

I can do clean. and I can do tidy. just not both at the same time....
(3 cats, 1 dog, 1 hamster, 2 teenagers, 1 DH indoors; 4 rabbits and 7 chickens outside).

Everlong it's got nohtig to do with being arsed. It's got to do with wanting to do something else rather than housework.

I know. I've had a housekeper for years and she is currentlt on extended leave. The time I spend keeping the house clean and tidy is time I could spend doing somehting else. And often that somehting is far more interesting and valuable.

You have two dogs?

Must be the cat's fault then. Bloody cat and all his mess.

My house is literally a hovel atm. It's How Clean is Your House Bad. It's the holidays. I have been spending 90% of my time off outside with the kids and dogs, then when they come home and I go to work, they make mess. Huge amounts of mess and hair and spread kibble everywhere.

Life is too short. Things will become more ordered again once the dc are back at school. I don't want to look back on their time as small children and wonder why we never spent days at the beach or park or where ever. I doubt I'll look back and wish my house had been cleaner over the holidays.

The dogs and the cat contribute greatly to the mess, mainly muddy paw prints and hair everywhere and beds dragged to places beds should not be.

IME, the trick is to tidy first, every day. That way it doesn't built up that much and is easier to clean.

As long as you are still finding time to have fun with your DC it's all good and fine.

People that haven't grown up in shit-holes don't understand how soul-destroying it is, and how mortifying it was if friends/teachers etc saw it. I would never let anyone see my house when it was in a state, so I don't let it get in a state.

It's a small house, it really doesn't take very long, I'm not abandoning the DC to the wolves while I scrub the skirting boards. (I find time to MN as well after all!)

Scrub the skirting boards? Do people do that?

I have 2 dogs and 3 under 5, (they actually make more mess than the dogs)

I probaly spend a hour in morning cleaning i do the kicthen,bathroom,washing and hoovering, while kids are still in bed.
When the kids in bed i will do kitchen,more hoovering,the bits that need dusting, and i iron while watching telly.
I find if i keep on top of it all its a lot easier

It was on gypsy weddings

(I have never done it. They get once over'd with the hoover if they're looking dusty)

ever I htink an hour a day is conservative if you take into account washing, drying, ironing, cleaning ,changing beds, etc etc.

But even if you're right, seven hours a week could be spent on somehitng else surely? That's seven long walks in the country or enough hours to keep a fabulous vegie patch. That's a day with a friend. Or three fab movies. Or I could easily write several chapters of a new book in seven hours.

Which one of these is more important, is up to the individual.

I have a nice house sometimes. I couldn't possibly keep it nice all the time with a dog and a very active four year old otherwise i'd spend all day tidying and cleaning.

I generally have a quick tidy up after child in bed and sweep floors, wash up etc once a day.

If someone turned up at my house midday there would probably be chaos.

If you do literally no cleaning in a house with children, social services will have something to say about it, and rightly so.

I have 3dc under 4 and no pets (well, fish) but a small house. I've worked really hard to get everything really organised and tidy and I DO manage to keep it pretty tidy (due to previous hard work - I don't spend ages doing it now). It is very dusty though - I never get as far as dusting, it's last on my list and always gets left. I am good at tidying, but not cleaning. Everyone is different and manages things differently, so YANBU to keep your house nice but YABU if you think everyone else should too.

The tidiest my house ever was was when ds was tiny and a toddler - I was amazingly organised and neat.

As far as I am concerned it's the old saying 'tidy house, tidy mind' but I am not at all fussed about other people's mess.

alwaysinthebackground, I'm glad your children stay in bed long enough for you to do that. Mine start the day so early it would be impossible to do that.

This thread is making me feel inadequate, which is silly as my house is untidyish but adequately clean, for now. I agree with you word factory, it's all about priorities. Also, 'clean' and 'tidy' are relatively subjective. Some of the posters on this thread bleating on about their amazing abilities to service multiple pets, DCs with a broom up their arses to maintain their sparkly houses may live in a messy shithole. Clean and tidy are in the eye of the beholder.

N.B. I mean the posters must have the brooms up their arses!

OP, I think you are an inspiration. You grew up in very difficult circumstances and you are now giving your children a good environment in which to grow up. Don't listen to those family members who are trying to drag you back down. They are probably jealous, so sympathise with them and maybe offer to help them with their mess.

I know I wish I had had someone come into my home and helped me to organise it when my dcs were younger.

It depends on the breed of dog and if you walk it daily.

There is no way that you can walk a dog a couple of times a day in the UK, run it through the park/fields without at times your kitchen floor being minging(unless the dog has its own room).

Everything is quicker and easier if you keep on top of it and you can get out of the house more, because you never have to turn down an invite/day out, because you have got the kids uniforms/shopping etc to do.

But unless you never really go anywhere, there are going to be an odd couple of days when your main rooms need a good clean.

There is no way that you can walk a dog a couple of times a day in the UK, run it through the park/fields without at times your kitchen floor being minging(unless the dog has its own room)

Yes there is.

I grew up in a house that was always messy/dirty and hated it. My mum would often have days where she did nothing - didn't get dressed, tidied nothing, did nothing except smoke and watch TV. I despised it.

My house now is always clean and tidy. Always. Unless we have visitors (rare) in which case I will leave tidying and sit and chat and drink tea.

I have five children and a dog, Hoover three times a day at least, tidy as I go along and never leave something behind if I walk past it and it shouldn't be there. We have a cleaner who does bathrooms and toilets once a week.

I can't function sat in chaos. The more mess I let my children create, the more mess is created iykwim. Keeping things tidy keeps them calmer and me happier. I don't ever want the kind of house where I'd be embarrassed to let someone in. We work hard for this house and I love it.

Oh, and I am one of those parents who don't often allow messy things like paint and playdoh. Not because of the mess it makes but because the play:tidy-up ratio just doesn't make it worth-while.

Melinddaa I am the same but have always allowed lots of craft/playdough etc because ds loved it.