To want to tell my sister exactly how annoyed i am with her? Long, sorry.

[neverontime]

I am 4.5 weeks pregnant. It has been very traumatic as i found out really early, 2 weeks ago, and had spotting for over a week, my GP thought i could be losing my baby. Anyway, so far so good, baby is hanging in there.

I went away with my Sister, Mum and my 2 children last week. My sis refused to acknowledge the fact i was pregnant and wouldnt talk about it at all, her excuse was, she didnt want the holiday to be about me. But, in my defense, i only mentioned it once, when i said my DD wanted to name the baby Lucy.

We came back from holiday friday, and i met my sister saturday for an afternoon shopping. While we were out in town, my sister brought up the baby and said she was uncomfortable talking about it for a few reasons, her reasons are:

1. My sister thinks its unfair i dont have to work for another 5 years when she is stuck in a job she hates.
2. She thinks i've had my chance to have babies and its her turn now. (my youngest is 4, and my sister isnt even trying for a baby yet).
3. She think its unfair on my other 2 DCs that they have to share me with another baby
4. SHe thinks my DC will miss out on a lot because all my time and money will be spent on the new baby.
5. My sister said if i have twins, (they run in my DPs family) she will never even try for a baby as twins are something she had always wanted, not me.
6. She thinks its unfair i may get funding to re-train as a teaching assistant after my baby is born (i'm currently volunteering at my DCs school as an unqualified teaching assistant)
7. She thinks i will take away the specialness of her having a baby if i have one close to her having one. (Again, she isnt even trying, shes still on the pill)
8. She doesnt want me to mention my pregnancy as it makes her angry.

Sorry for rambling, but i feel so upset that my sister has taken my pregnancy and made it all about how she feels. Having a baby should be something to be celebrated, not hidden away like a dirty little secret.

So, do you think i need to say something to her, or just leave her to her thoughts and see how she feels later on.
And how do i tell her how i feel? I'm too scared to tell her face to face because she was so angry the other day.

in that case you could certainly get a +ive well before your period was due, I believe that! I got a +ive before mine was due and I ovulate late!

PatFenis GPs sometimes don't trust you when you tell them when you ovulated/had your last period. I knew I was far less pregnant than my LMP would suggest and so was sent pointlessly to EPU because my GP was worried about ectopic which wouldn't be symptomatic at the stage I KNEW I was at

so, say when I'm 5 weeks by LMP, I'm actually carrying a 4 wk sized bean becaue it's only been 2 weeks since conception

but when the OP who ovulates early is 4 weeks by LMP she could be carrying a 5wk sized bean IYKWIM..

and if her GP calculated it from conception not LMP then that would explain the concern about the bleeding, as it is further along than someone with the same LMP who ovulates later.. get it?

an early ovulater is further along than a late ovulator even if they both had the same LMP, and this will usually be corrected at the scan but some HCPs may correct earlier

which is why my MW adjusts LMPs to conception plus 2 weeks as she is one of the few HCPs who I've come across who trusts women who say "i KNOW when I ovulated"

• 'MY' dates have been confirmed by scan in both pregnancies, and are quite off from LMP dates

Oh i see. I really should know this, i have 2 DCs already!

So when they date your pregnancy by a scan, they add 2 weeks to your LMP?

she's being ridiculous. ignore her petulant ravings.

OP it is quite important for you to bear this in mind if your triple test is booked for the later end of the window (say around 13 weeks)

you can ask for a dating scan if you think you may be far enough out ovulation wise that it'll effect your triple test window.

Like for me if mine wasn't adjusted then if I got a triple test at 11 weeks (normally fine between 11 weeks and 13 weeks isn't it?) then it would have been too early for me IYKWIM

I apologise once more never - I have 6 children myself and have always been on time ;)

I wish you a delightful pregancy and a pain free ish (cos we know it never will be ) delivery x

Thank you PatFenis you are forgiven

Matching wedding fringes! She sounds extremely trying but very funny OP.
Any further examples of foot stamping hissy fits?
Safely vent here, we'll all have a chuckle then you can serenely glide through your pregnancy being amused by her outrageous behaviour.

My younger DSis and Dsis in law can be a bit princessy too so fully sympathise. DH and I find laughing at their antics draws the sting.

patfenis No, if she had her last period 4 weeks ago, she is 4 weeks pregnant. You don't add the two weeks onto the lmp date.

You add two weeks onto ovulation date. The LMP is used precisely because most women ovulate 2 weeks into their cycle.

Of course it can happen! I ovulated really early.

Haven't bothered to read the thread, sorry, but twins don't follow the male line of a family - makes no difference how many are in DP's side.

Just to put everyones minds at rest. I had my period on the 12th July, i had sex on the 14th and 15th july. No other time the whole month. I am most definately pregnant. I am assuming it is because i ovulated early.

Really loopy? i honestly didnt know that. No twins for me or my sis then

What date did you test on? I'm not being nasty. I'm telling you this for your own good. I don't believe you are 4 weeks pregnant. I think, if you are pregnant, your last period was a false one or an implantation bleed, which would make you 8 weeks and you should be checked to confirm dates.

that is hilarious, OP, I could NOT take her seriously. What your sister said is the sort of stuff I would trot out at coffee mornings to amuse my other mummy friends. Honestly, you couldn't make it up.

I had 3 week cycles for a spell.

ps: sperm can stay alive in the female body for up to a week, so you could have ovulated as late as 22 July & still got pg from that single act on the 15th. I haven't noticed on thread whether you were taking basal temps, too.

Lljkk - yes that is possible, but that happening would make it impossible for her to find out 2 and a half weeks after her period, as the egg would only just be implanting at the time op says she tested positive.

No, i wasnt taking basal temps.
I did a test the day my 12th july period was due, it was negative.

I tested on the 23rd july and it was a faint positive. The doctor sent a urine sample to hospital to confirm i was pregant too.

Oh my gosh, does it really matter how far along i am? How soon i tested? Wheni could have conceived? I'm pregnant, and i'm over the moon about it.

Your sister has issues. Just ignore her.
I am jealous that you can have sex 2 days after the beginning of your period.

Yes OP it does matter because the difference of 4 weeks could be the difference between being eligible for NT scan etc.

If you don't give a fig about that though then carry on.

I'm not arguing with you though, and I'm not saying you're not pregnant, I'm telling you that you are wrong.

A pregnancy test would not be showing positive 11 days into your cycle, unless you ovulated DURING your period and then only certain brands would detect such an early, low level of hcg. An ovulation test would certainly not be getting a positive from hCG levels earlier than a HPT because they are less sensitive (they will detect hCG at a level of 20mlu)

You may well have got a negative previously. But I am telling you it was fucking wrong.

Please please please don't argue with me when what I am saying is fact. If you are pregnant, you did not concieve in this cycle.

You both sound pretty horrid. She obviously has some massive issues. That's her problem to deal with. You are expecting everyone to be as excited as you are despite their own personal circumstances (of which you know much less than you think you do). That's your issue to deal with.

Even if you were my best friend I'd struggle to offer congratulations so early on, for purely practical reasons. I've seen that heartbreak before and it isn't pleasant.

Really? Its possible i got pregnant last month even though i had a negative test?
Well that would make a difference. Perhaps i should talk to my doctor again.
Sorry to be so arsey.

Yes, its perfectly possible, especially if you were using less sensitive tests.

Getting a positive on a pregnancy test relies on your body producing a sufficient amount of hCG. The amount needed to show a positive depends on the test. Clear blue digital for example aren't sensitive as they only detect 35mlu (the bigger the number the less sensitive the test). Superdrug own brand are the most sensitive at 10mlu (this is the most sensitive urine test you can get).

So a superdrug own brand would give you a positive, where a cb digi would say not pregnant.

Now, you producing this amount depends on when you ovulated, when the egg implanted, and your hormone levels in general.

So, if you ovulate on day 14, but the egg doesn't implant until 10days post ovulation (day 24), if your period is due on day 28, its very likely that you would get a negative pregnancy test the day your period is due.

What could also happen, and does happen, is you could have a false period, because of the late implantation, or you could have what is called a break through bleed (basically the egg settling in) which would coincide with when your period is due.