To want to tell my sister exactly how annoyed i am with her? Long, sorry.

[neverontime]

I am 4.5 weeks pregnant. It has been very traumatic as i found out really early, 2 weeks ago, and had spotting for over a week, my GP thought i could be losing my baby. Anyway, so far so good, baby is hanging in there.

I went away with my Sister, Mum and my 2 children last week. My sis refused to acknowledge the fact i was pregnant and wouldnt talk about it at all, her excuse was, she didnt want the holiday to be about me. But, in my defense, i only mentioned it once, when i said my DD wanted to name the baby Lucy.

We came back from holiday friday, and i met my sister saturday for an afternoon shopping. While we were out in town, my sister brought up the baby and said she was uncomfortable talking about it for a few reasons, her reasons are:

1. My sister thinks its unfair i dont have to work for another 5 years when she is stuck in a job she hates.
2. She thinks i've had my chance to have babies and its her turn now. (my youngest is 4, and my sister isnt even trying for a baby yet).
3. She think its unfair on my other 2 DCs that they have to share me with another baby
4. SHe thinks my DC will miss out on a lot because all my time and money will be spent on the new baby.
5. My sister said if i have twins, (they run in my DPs family) she will never even try for a baby as twins are something she had always wanted, not me.
6. She thinks its unfair i may get funding to re-train as a teaching assistant after my baby is born (i'm currently volunteering at my DCs school as an unqualified teaching assistant)
7. She thinks i will take away the specialness of her having a baby if i have one close to her having one. (Again, she isnt even trying, shes still on the pill)
8. She doesnt want me to mention my pregnancy as it makes her angry.

Sorry for rambling, but i feel so upset that my sister has taken my pregnancy and made it all about how she feels. Having a baby should be something to be celebrated, not hidden away like a dirty little secret.

So, do you think i need to say something to her, or just leave her to her thoughts and see how she feels later on.
And how do i tell her how i feel? I'm too scared to tell her face to face because she was so angry the other day.

I agree, it was very early to tell anyone, but little people have big ears! My DD overheard me talking to my DP about it all. And i thought people would rather hear it from me than my DD.
numbum i was trying to big myself up a bit there. Parent helper is a much more accurate description

She is my younger sister, by 2 years.

She most definatelt does have 'form' for this kind of self centered behaviour. Her wedding last year. She wanted me to have a fringe cut to match the other bridesmaid and my hair dyed, had the photographer airbrush my tattoos out of the picture. Would let me choose my DCs wedding outfits.

I do think you should have waited to tell your kids anyway.. yes it is very early, I'ld struggle to celebrate anyone's pregnancy at 4.5 weeks, including my own

no you can't help your sister with her issues when she doesn't think SHE has the issues (if she did she'ld have a barrier between feeling the resentment, and lashing out about it!)

x post, see you didn't tell the kids

She airbrushed your tattoos!!?? I'm utterly shocked!

What would you hope to gain from talking to her about this any more?

I'm struggling to imagine how this could go well to be honest.

She clearly has been totally out of line by choosing to vent her spleen at you in such a blaming way. She's made her feelings and problems your responsibility, and they simply are NOT. Please, please don't imagine that any of this is your fault. You could have shared your news with a million other women and not been given the response she chose to give.

Her feelings and problems are her own. Of course, you care and want to help, yes she's your sister, but she is (despite indications to the contrary) an adult. I'm afraid I don't see any good coming from bringing this up again so soon.

Bottom line: she feels shit about your pregnancy for whatever reason, and is blaming YOU for the way SHE feels. It's completely unacceptable, toxic and without the boundaries that define respectful relationships.

"5 you never find out you are 4 weeks pregnant and have a bleed 2 weeks ago resulting in your GP being concerned you are having a miscarriage...that would be your period!"

I bled in the 2 weeks leading up to when my period was due, my GP was concerned and sent me to the EPU at 4 and a bit weeks, I am now 20 weeks, it definitely wasn't my period I've had 2 scans and about a zillion lines and a huge belly!

PatFenis you're entitled to your opinion.
I found out i was pregnant at 2 and a half weeks after my last period. I'm now 4 and a half weeks pregnant. What doesnt make sense to you?

sometimes GPs dont trust you to know your dates which is why they sometimes send people to EPU before the EPU can even do anything, I was sent before my pregnancy hormone was even high enough to confirm pregnancy.. but I was pregnant

OP that makes you 6 weeks pregnant, you count it from your last period not from when you concieved

the digital tests count from conception but that is not how many weeks you are, you need to add 2

Thank you lacking

if you are 4.5 weeks and found out 2 weeks ago, that means you found out within 3 days of conception? first response must have improved recently....

My last period was 12th July, that means i'm nearly 4 weeks pregnant. Arent i?

I ovulated just after my period.

In a nutshell - she's jealous.
No, hold on, she's also selfcentered, immature and insecure too.

I wouldn't discuss your pregnancy with her right now, it's obvious she isn't supportive.
How old is she btw? She sounds like my 6 yo (it's not fair!!)
Life happens and although you say she's not yet trying, she doesn't seem to realise that it's quite normal AND fair for sisters to be pregnant at the same time. The world won't end. Not even hers.

Don't let your sister bring you down - you have more important things, and people, to think about.
I hope you have a stress-free 9 months

yes, that's 4

you must have ovulated early then?, how did you find out you were pregnant?

(I got faint positives not long after ovulating this time but I ovulate quite late, however can see how you could get a faint +ive on certain tests much earlier if you ovulate earlier)

Ample shes 32. You're right, i do need to keep clear of mentioning the baby for now. If only to save an argument.

x post

what day do you ovulate? after last period doesn't give a clue cause that could be 3 days or 2 weeks?

(tip: if you ovulate at a bonkersly off time that's nowhere near 14, LIE ABOUT YOUR LAST PERIOD to HCPs, even my MW agrees with me on this one and adjusted my last period so it was 2 weeks prior to conception)

I was doing ovulation tests and they kept coming up strong, so my DP nagged me into taking a pregnancy test, he said i looked different. I was totally shocked to get a faint positive!
I ovulated just after my period.

It was probably about 3 days after my period. I dont know for sure, this was my first month doing my ovulation tests.

"It was probably about 3 days after my period. I dont know for sure, this was my first month doing my ovulation tests"

no I mean how many days was it since day 1 of your period when you ovulated

3 days after period could be anything from day 6 to day 17

I dont know. I always have really short periods, this month i started bleeding on the 12th, finished on the 14th, had sex 14th and 15th, very light spotting again on the 17th, (implantation bleeding maybe?)

So you are 6 weeks pregnant then OP? I always discovered that I was pregnant after my first missed period that I was pg - making me 6 weeks pregnant (4weeks) after my last period but never did any of my health care providers say that I might be mc when I had a bleed at 2 weeks pregnant because you wouldn't even test positive at that point ... and yes I am going to be the MN pariah tmw - oh well!

seriously though - if you are really pregnant I wish you luck and hope it all goes well - I'm not horrid, just really fucking paranoid lmao xx

Its only been 4 and a half weeks since my last period, so that means i'm 4 and a half weeks pregnant.

I am honest to god pregnant, i have about 10 tests to prove it!

you will be told that you are 6 and a half weeks pregnant then ...when you see your gp - they will ask for the date of your last period and add 2 weeks