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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm not sure if I am Re a charity shop

169 replies

iknowwho · 13/08/2012 18:13

Over the weekend we had a massive clearout and today I have taken 5 large bin sacks to the local charity shop.
All the stuff in them was washed and ironed except for the shirts that still had labels and price tags on - They were just ironed.

Lots of nice stuff. Dropped it off and the two ladies said thank you. Just on my way out a jacket caught my eye for £3.
I had no cash on me and just said 'is there any chance I could have that jacket please?' The ladies got flustered and said kept asking each other in a Chuckle brother style ' What do you think' 'don't know, what do you think' then eventually one said ' I suppose so'

There were 9 shirts that are this season that had labels on that cost more than £20. (DH buys stuff, doesn't quite fit, loses receipt and then forgets sometimes) , nice gift box sets of toiletries etc.

I felt like I was asking for something hugely precious!!

OP posts:
LurkingAndLearningLovesCats · 13/08/2012 19:54

I'm not perfect (who is?) but yes, this is the sort of thing I find quite upsetting.

usualsuspect · 13/08/2012 20:06

I don't see any outrage, just posters saying they think the OP was wrong.

usualsuspect · 13/08/2012 20:07

If you think that's outrage, then you must have led a pretty sheltered life.

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 13/08/2012 20:08

If you can afford to donate over £180 of new shirts cos your husband can't be bothered, and toiletry sets etc then YABVVVU cos I am so jealous cos I'm utterly skint, had no new clothes in years and use all bottles to last drop then cut them open to scrape out the dregs

Glad you will pop the 3 quid in next time, I think that evens it out OP and this thread has been interesting!!

CuriousMama · 13/08/2012 20:11

There are a few of these Shock faces but nothing too bad especially for aibu.

NPPF · 13/08/2012 20:12

usualsuspect Yes, I have. I'm a nun.

usualsuspect · 13/08/2012 20:14

I thought this was quite a tame thread TBH. Maybe I've been on MN far too long.

Original poster
iknowwho · 13/08/2012 20:16

Wow you have so much spare cash! We would have if DH would stop buying shirts!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
iknowwho · 13/08/2012 21:09

My final thoughts on this ( although I suspect I may get drawn in again!)

I only asked because I didn't know if I has committed some sort of charity shop faux pas. As it turns out it was much more serious than a naive mistake. It was dreadful. How dare I ask for a second hand Primark jacket!!!
I should have gone into the town and gone into Primani and bought one for two quid more, on my way to the land fill or to the post office to post off all our ex clothes for a profit!

I would feel rather bad if raising money for charity was my main motivation for using that paticular shop. However it isn't. I said before that I have needed charity shops myself when the boys were small and I serioiusly didn't have any money ( a low point was the baliffs calling round) I am not skint at the moment( I have stated our income on another thread) but was grateful to getting decent stuff from Charity shops. I may need Charity shops in the future. Who know what is in store for us? The one I donate to is in an area with high unemployment and has been highlighted as a deprived area. I wouldn't like to see tat in a charity shop when I need one and would have felt insulted if there was shit there. Therefore I won't donate anything that I wouldn't be happy to see any members of my family dressed in.

The charity shop in question isn't C A but has A in the title. Again I would feel bad at 'ripping' of a charity shop if the founder of this one isn't in prison for crimes committed in the country he is supposed to be surporting. We are talking about crimes a lot more serious than blagging a 2nd hand jacket.

Going to the points about DH and his shirt buying, yes bloody annoying. If I had known about them I would have said, 'Oi, that shirt you got from Harvey Nicks when you were at the Trafford Centre....How was it?' The truth is both of us probably over buy. We don't do a show and tell so I'm not always aware of what has been purchased.

Those that have said send a cheque, well tbh I didn't think anyone had them anymore ...., not taking the piss or anything. And P.O. I haven't had one of them in over 38 years!! I thought they had been phased out under Thatcher's Britain or something!

I'm not a bad person or even a cocky soul. I do my bit but todau I was a bit impulsive.
Maybe next time I go in I should teach the ladies who work there the MN mantra to any questons like mine in the future........ 'No is a complete sentence!'

OP posts:
FallenCaryatid · 13/08/2012 21:14

DS works in a charity shop, it could be that the ladies were indecisive because they weren't sure how to deal with your request.
Stock out of shop, no money in till? What?
Panic!

WildWorld2004 · 13/08/2012 21:17

I have actually found a sanitary towel in a handbag when i was taking it off the shelf as part of our rotation. We get some tat 'donated' to our shop.

Original poster
iknowwho · 13/08/2012 21:20

Yuck wildworld just Yuk.

Everything I put in is washed and ironed before I send it in, and like I said before, pages in a book checked, batteries in the kids toys etc. It's not fair to use a charity shop as a dumping ground for shit.

OP posts:
FallenCaryatid · 13/08/2012 21:22

Yes, dealing with the shit is one of the areas that the little old ladies in the shop happily delegate to DS. He is learning much about the Human Condition and the many variables there are!
And the importance of wearing gloves.

mellowcat · 13/08/2012 21:23

I don't think you have done anything dreadful by any stretch of the imagination and can honestly not see where anyone has said you had. Good on you for giving to the charity.

Where the heck is Primani? Is it a sorta cross between Armani and Primark...sounds fab and hideous all at the same time.

As for cheque books, I have one of those and I've got ever such a posh bank account...no money you understand...just a posh bank account! I just keepa requestin cheque books and they keepa sendin them. Makes me feel all nostalgic for the good ole days (plus you can only pay cash or cheque at nursery)

LurkingAndLearningLovesCats · 13/08/2012 21:27

I'll never forget the post about the worker who opened up a suitcase full of urine and poo stained sheets to be donated...And the person came back for the suitcase!!

Original poster
iknowwho · 13/08/2012 21:29

Flippin Heck lurking these charity shop stories are hideous.
Disgusting people!!

OP posts:
IMissPlutoBeingaPlanet · 13/08/2012 21:30

Well said iknowwho I think the negative responses you recieved are laughable and completely unreasonable. Anyone would think you committed some horrible crime the way based on some of the previous comments(!) I don't think you need to lose any sleep over this.

LurkingAndLearningLovesCats · 13/08/2012 21:31

I know right!!! That thread alone made me lose about 5kg because I didn't eat for a week! Syringes, the amount of vomit, poo, urine (not all human..)

Relives and rocks in corner

songbird33 · 13/08/2012 21:33

People do haggle, 'tis true. I work for our local Samaritans charity shop and people bargain with you over 20p as if their lives depended on it.

Redglow · 13/08/2012 21:33

It's hardly a massive crime. It was a bit cheeky but they let her do it so it's over .

FallenCaryatid · 13/08/2012 21:34

DS hasn't had any truly disgusting experiences, but he's surprised how many donations have holes and rips in them.
The worst bags are those dumped outside the door when the shop is closed. Less donation and more flytipping.

usualsuspect · 13/08/2012 21:36

No one said it was a massive crime.Just that they think the OP was wrong. Are there invisible posts on this thread I can't read?

Original poster
iknowwho · 13/08/2012 21:39

*usual suspect I was being a bit tounge in cheek in response to the sacastic 'what a wonderful person I must be' type comments for ripping of a charity shop.

OP posts:
LurkingAndLearningLovesCats · 13/08/2012 21:40

I said I think it's a horrible thing to do. I do think that. I don't think the OP is a horrible person though. Plus she's said she's going to pay the money so it's really a moot point.

I really don't see this as a 'nest of vipers' (sorry, had too! Wink) type AIBU. People seem to be very defensive on it though, OP is pretty chill though. Confused

Ugh. My insomnia is messing with my mind now!

LurkingAndLearningLovesCats · 13/08/2012 21:43

Yeah, sorry about that iknowwho. I freely admit anything to do with charity, and my teeth bare. I got the wrong impression of you and I was snitchy. Sorry!

Too be fair, it is almost 7AM here, I haven't slept and now I'm thinking of closing my eyes and dipping my hand inside a scary 'charity bag...' Shock