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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think not stopping your child screaming out the window is rude?

109 replies

Pippinintherain · 13/08/2012 09:18

The house we back on to has a child who stands at an open window and screams, top of her voice for hours.

We've been woken up at between 5 and 6 am at least 3 times a week by it and yesterday afternoon she stood there for 2 hours doing it.

No-one tells her to stop, she is about 7ish but has some LD. I know it isn't her fault but surely you would move her away or encourage her to do something else.

We sleep with the window closed and earplugs in yet it still wakes us up.

I feel a right bitch for being irritated but grrrr.

Flame away.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 13/08/2012 09:22

I would say it is inconsiderate that the parents allow it to go on for hours on end.

JumpingThroughHoops · 13/08/2012 09:23

Easier said than done if she does have LDs. I don't suppose the parent/s enjoy living with the noise 24/7.

I'd call the police and report screaming. Then I'd call SS. Because the parent/s obviously need some support that don't appear to be getting at the moment.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 13/08/2012 09:25

it may not be that easy to stop her, and for all you know they have tried very hard, my DD screams loudly in the night and we cannot stop her, short of gagging her, which we cannot do. I would not assume they are not trying to stop her. Or maybe they don't realise it's disturbing you, or they sleep through it and she just opens her window and does it without them realising, in which case go and talk to them.

Sympathies though, it must be annoying.

Pagwatch · 13/08/2012 09:26

It sou ds awful but I am guessing the people in er house enjoy it as little as you do.
I would strongly suspect that if they could stop it they would.

Ds2 repeats phrases and hums sometimes. If I try to stop it he gets louder or self harms. A bloke said to me in a queue the other day 'can you stop him doing that' to which I replied
"'i have been listening to this since breakfast. Do you really really not think that if I could stop it I would?"

lechatnoir · 13/08/2012 09:27

Or drop a note round politely asking them to close their child's window as the noise is reverberating round the neighbourhood! It might at least make them aware of the problem without having a big argument or embarrassment.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 13/08/2012 09:30

call SS? I would no way do that.

What are SS going to do? Send someone round in the night to gag the child?

Original poster
Pippinintherain · 13/08/2012 09:31

I know it must be very difficult to live with but why not just shut the window or move her away?

No-one goes up to her, she literally stands, hanging out the window, screeching. She plays outside and doesn't scream then, she seems to do it because no-one is with her.

It can start at 5am and go on for over an hour. If we can hear her surely her parents can?

Yesterday there was music on so I imagine parents were downstairs while she was hanging out the window.

I do feel bad for being irritated by it and I'm not blaming the child, I also feel sorry for the parents Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
Pippinintherain · 13/08/2012 09:32

God, I feel a bitch, I really do.

Just ranting on here because there's not alot else I can do.

OP posts:
McHappyPants2012 · 13/08/2012 09:34

get a window lock on the window, a 7 year old hanging out of the window is dangerous even without LD or SN

honeytea · 13/08/2012 09:35

I would feel a little worried about a child hanging out of a window, it doesn't sound very safe. Maybe they could get window locks.

Could you talk to the parents and say you were worried about the safety of the child? I am sure they are as anoyed by the noise as you are.

DozyDuck · 13/08/2012 09:35

Rant away, the parents are probably just as frustrated as you. I close my windows but I'm sure my neighbours can still hear 'a fabby fabby fooooowwwww, foooowww, foooowwww, fabby foooowwwww' screeched at the top of his voice. Constantly. Urgh.

Do they ever apologise for the noise? I'm constantly apologising.

Pagwatch · 13/08/2012 09:35

Don't feel bad about venting! It must be awful.

But honestly, I doubt they don't care that she does it .
Could you approach them?

DozyDuck · 13/08/2012 09:38

Or maybe they can't afford window locks? If you can you could offer to help them out with it if it'll give you peace of mind. Is it a big window or just a top one she clubs to and sticks her face near? (DS does this as soon as I am busy with another task such as washing the dishes but we managed to save up for window locks)

FranSanDisco · 13/08/2012 09:38

I'm an LSA to a child who sounds quite similar. Her parents say she wakes very early and until it's time for her meds is quite a handful. The have brought her into school reporting 2 hrs of screaming that morning or trashing of her bedroom. Once her meds kick in she may or may not be calm. Some mornings as she enters class she is simply in her own world and other mornings she will hit, kick, scream and bite me for innocuous reasons. It appears that some days her meds don't work at all am dreading her coming back to school in september as the transition to a new class etc will be difficult for her Sad.

DozyDuck · 13/08/2012 09:38

Climbs to.

Lucyellensmum99 · 13/08/2012 09:44

I sympathise, i have a dog over the back of me that barks at stupid o clock and we are in two minds as to what to do. The owners are very nice and i think they may have lost their son recently so of course loathe to do anything, but its drivin me nuts. Of course this is less awkward than the situation you have there OP. I don't know what to suggest - could her parents sleep through it? Some people can sleep through anything, you could drop a nuclear bomb by my DD and she wouldnt wake up. Maybe a note to "make them aware" might help? No, rubbish idea that.

JumpingThroughHoops · 13/08/2012 09:45

What are SS going to do? Send someone round in the night to gag the child?

Well that's one way of looking at it I suppose Hmm there was me thinking that Social Services had come a long way from being perceived as Nazi Child Snatchers and are actually there to support a family?

IF the child has LDs it very well maybe that family isn't getting the support they need.

DozyDuck · 13/08/2012 09:46

Maybe they are so stuck in their own LD world (it can be all consuming) that they don't realise she will be heard by others.

Maybe saying something like 'was DD ok this morning? I heard her screaming I wasn't sure if I could do anything'

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 13/08/2012 09:48

Jumping, you entirely misunderstood me, indeed we have had good help from SS, my point is what can SS do about this particular matter?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 13/08/2012 09:49

don't let that stop you with the Hmm faces and dripping sarcasm though eh?

DozyDuck · 13/08/2012 09:49

SS could apply for funding for window locks, they could also refer to learning disability team who could help with the behaviour.

But I'd leave it to the parents to contact SS it's a very very personal decision.

JumpingThroughHoops · 13/08/2012 09:50

Thanks for your unmitigated permission to post.

If you weren't so aggressive all the time perhaps people wouldn't respond in kind.

Bunbaker · 13/08/2012 09:50

What is LD?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 13/08/2012 09:51

well I'd say good luck with the funding for the window locks, we were told repeatedly that "modifications to the house are parental responsibility"..but maybe they are mean here.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 13/08/2012 09:51

Jumping..yes, and you are always so lovely and sweet Wink

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