To think not stopping your child screaming out the window is rude?

[Pippinintherain]

The house we back on to has a child who stands at an open window and screams, top of her voice for hours.

We've been woken up at between 5 and 6 am at least 3 times a week by it and yesterday afternoon she stood there for 2 hours doing it.

No-one tells her to stop, she is about 7ish but has some LD. I know it isn't her fault but surely you would move her away or encourage her to do something else.

We sleep with the window closed and earplugs in yet it still wakes us up.

I feel a right bitch for being irritated but grrrr.

Flame away.

I think some of the 'suck it up' type posts are a bit unreasonable.

The OP has a right to a little peace.

Yes, it must be very hard for the parents of the screaming child but, equally, there's no reason why everyone should have to suffer.

Nothing wrong with asking the parents to shut the window.

Think we said that a while back.

Difficulty in this very hot weather is shutting the window can make a room unbearably hot, and a fan in a saferoom doesn't work well.

...then they need to take the child downstairs

Downstairs isn't always the best or safest place

I sympathise OP. But I do think it will be difficult to deal with if she had LDs - even in the parents want to oblige you there may be nothing that can be done.

I can't imagine standing alone by an upstairs open window is the best or safest place either

One of the parents may well be in the room or outside the door.

Taking a child with SN downstairs during a meltdown will probably result in you both falling down the stairs. But the window should be locked, or at least have something on it to stop it opening fully.

Safety first.

But if it's safe, with a lock that doesn't allow it to open fully, they're strong windows, may even have the invisible bar things... Then trying to bring her in will make the screaming last longer.

No in a perfect world no one would be disturbed by screaming children with learning difficulties you are right. But I'd rather be disturbed by a child with learning difficulties than for my own child to have them tbh.

As things go it isn't as bad for you.

No Dozy, things aren't that bad for me. I knew I'd get flamed for this.

She isn't screaming as in having a melt down, it's screaming in excitement type screaming. She hangs out the window so no invisible bars.

I've said time and time again I sympathise with the parents but surely I have the right to be slightly irritated by it. My own kids sleep till 8 am yet I can't have a lie in as I'm woken at 5 by this. We have our window shut which makes our room unbearably hot, to try minimise the noise.

I get life is Shit for some of you. I'd be a cow he I actually had a go at the parents about it, instead I'm ranting here. I'll put up with it until we can afford to move, hopefully somewhere with no neighbours.

How would you stop her? If you were the parent I mean?

If SS didn't make funding safespaces (have a google) so difficult this sort of thing wouldn't happen. You could befriend her and tell the parents you would happily provide evidence for the need for a disabled facilities grant (not means tested for children) for a safespace. I'm only half joking.

Ds1 often wakes very early in the summer - roll on winter.

I wasn't flaming you at all! I wouldn't do that I said earlier I feel like shit whenever I think we are disturbing our neighbours

It's just something I find helps when I'm trying to deal with stuff myself...thinking it could be so much worse. When DS has had a horrible day and I feel like having a meltdown myself, I think about how I was told we could lose DS and how lucky I am that we still have him.

When the little girl is disturbing your sleep maybe think 'It could be so much worse'

You have every right to feel silently annoyed by it all. Of course you do. I wasn't really referring to you when I said about how much harder it must be for them.

That said, hanging out of the window does sound incredibly dangerous! DS was just climbing up onto our window sill and throwing toys out of the high, small window and I completely freaked out.

My friend was washing the dishes when her neighbour opposite her knocked on the door to tell her that her son was climbing out of the upstairs window, scaling along the sill then climbing back into the next window along! She had no idea! She felt sick and immediately bought safety latches etc off eBay.

Is there any chance the parents might think she is just squealing and when she hears them coming to check on her she sits back on the floor quickly so they don't actually know she's hanging out?

If she's hanging out of the window I would go around while she was hanging out and knock on and say 'your DD is hanging out of the window, I'm sorry to disturb you but I didn't know if you knew and was worried she might fall'

Learning disability is the 'correct' term in the UK and I wouldn't use ASC as that fails to describe the severity of ds1' disability. I can understand why someone high functioning would choose to use ASC though.

Someone mentioned babies. It's the same in terms of what you can do to stop it. Imagine the shouting girl was a crying baby - how would you expect the parents to stop it?

For goodness sake, just speak to the parents! Nothing at all wrong with speaking to them, it doesn't make you a cow. Like I said, they may appreciate it and not be aware it's disturbing others. They may just apologise and explain they cannot prevent it, but they may equally appreciate knowing their DD is leaning out of an open window!

What does ASC mean as opposed to ASD?

ASC - autistic spectrum condition

ASD - autistic spectrum disorder

Both the same thing, doesn't make anything any different, just more changes to words

I think autistic adults (those I have spoken to) do not see themselves as having a disorder or being disabled in any way, they see it as just the way they are, so condition would be more accurate for them.

Just say on the autistic spectrum. Or choose one.

Or say Autistic even.

Yup dotty. I just say autistic. I only use ASD on here for some reason.

Thanks, I think I'd seen the C version somewhere but generally just think of it as ASD. I am having my own assessment for Aspergers next month! Incidentally I certainly do see it as a disability (as well as 'the way I am' if that makes any sense!) but that is perhaps because I have only learned about it recently and am trying to come to terms with how it, as opposed to just my own uselessness, has affected my whole life - maybe if I'd had parents who gave a shit been diagnosed as a child I would be more comfortable with it by now IYSWIM.

I see it as a disability for my son as it stands at the moment because it stops him from accessing so much and effects everything about our lives, but with enough support for him maybe it won't effect our lives as much. If you need any support with diagnosis there is a fantastic fb group. Inbox me if needed x

My DS wasn't dx until February 16 years of fighting he was 18 last month but yes he is disabled has dx LD's and severe behavoural problems difference between learning difficulty and disabilities is help is available if dx with the disability

Still has severe behaviour problems at 18 dotty? I was hoping it was something that DS would grow out of (not the autism, but the violence)

Mostly under control with meds but when he flips he flips attacked DD2 [16] this morning and me when I intervened its down as assaultative behavior now I personally think it was because of delay in DX that we didn't get correct help put in place years ago. I ended up balling my eyes out this morning.

Oh no :( I don't want the meds. DS is in a behaviour school and we are trying our best but he doesn't tolerate other children near him without lashing out. I wanted him to be able to have some sort of independent life.