Vacuous women - the case against

[Birdspa]

I'm talking about the wives of my husband's friends. All they talk about is shopping, where they bought what from, the case for wedges over flats and fake tan bookings. Can someone please save me?! I am drowning in a vacuum of nothingness. I am trembling at the thought of another dinner party.

Can you just not go, if they are not people you have anything in common with?

I'm not sure what else you can do apart from be polite and take a book to read under the table.

Sounds pretty dull but do you never ever talk trite pap yourself or is it always Proust? I'm sure you can cope with it for one evening.

Just don't interact with them may seem vacuous to you. But perhaps they think the same as you.
I don't like when people thing they are better than other as they feel their interests are shallow.

I don't know any women like this

Really?

What happens if you try and talk about something more interesting? The Olympics? News things are usual good aren't they...everyone had an opinion

Ate you sat at a different table to the men?

What do you like to talk about? What happens if you try to talk about your favourite subjects? Can't you talk to your husband's friends, instead? These aren't people you have to spend a lot of time with, so perhaps you could tolerate them for the odd evening.

It's a bit early in the morning for me to think how to be tactful, but you do sound a bit, er, sniffy about these women.

BTW, whenever my DH and his friends go out, their main topic of conversations are golf and football. Does that make them vacuous ?

Introduce different topics of conversation?

There are many men who are dull as crap too. I don't think their gender is the reason. It's just that they, as individuals, talk about stuff you find dull.

It's not even dull, objectively. It's just dull to you. I bet they find it fascinating.

What sort of things would you prefer to talk about? Why can't you start a topic?

How tedious.

I'd probably end up drinking far too much wine and then say something inappropriate. Why don't you talk to the men? Or are they having cigars and brandy while the women withdraw to another room?

YABU.

You can direct the conversation yourself you know.

Also, most of my friends are graduates and very well read and follow current affairs closely but love nothing better than talking about the sales or something new we've bought. It's great to talk about this stuff when your husband won't be interested and you're up to "here" with playing footy with the kids during the Olympics!

Sometimes there is too much testosterone in my house and I love the chance to talk waffle with other women. It doesn't make me vacuous.

You sound like my Mum OP! She always thinks everyone is of inferior intellect to her if they so much as watch telly!

I don't know anyone like this either tbh. And chances are they have feelings and thoughts too, under the surface, but are tryingto act within some social construct and not tip the boat. I don't really understand as I have never experienced it.

I would be uncomfortable with a conversation solely about tanning and shoes though, but then again I doubt I would be in your position, as I dislike dinner parties anyway and wouldn't want to go to them in the first place.

Yeah Yeah we get it OP you are far too clever to fraternise with these dreadfully silly women. Any reason you can't introduce another subject into the conversation or talk to one of the men if the women are just too silly for you?

Talk to the men or change the conversation with the women. I know what you mean about feeling stuck in a group who are conversing about stuff you find dull as ditchwater, but it really is up to you to change the dynamic.

consider it an intellectual challenge to talk to them, at their level, about things they are interested in. they might be putting on a socially-acceptable front, too.

i know what you mean, though. i don't seek out the companionship of women because in rl they do want to talk about soap powder, hairstyles, tanning, celebrities. even people i work with.

They may be scrambling around for something inoffensive and innocuous to talk about because they also do not know each other that well. They may be feeling the same as you.... so why not add something else to the conversation.

I also think that you sound a bit sniffy, though. However, YANBU.

I'm just imagining the other AIBU..,

"I'm going to a dinner party with my husband and his friends and their partners. We all have busy, challenging lives so when we get together we like to switch off and talk about lighthearted stuff - shoes, clothes, that kind of thing. There's one woman who insists on talking about politics, Guatemalan fiction and other esoterica. She sounds as though she's regurgitating Guardian editorials, tbh. She clearly looks down on us when we enjoy a bit of girly chat. AIBU to think she's an intellectual snob who is too insecure about being thought vacuous to relax?"

I think the OP and her lovebunny has serious issues with women.

Not the ops lovebunny, just lovebunny :)

lovebunny- as a woman I find your remarks misogynistic and offensive. If a man said what you just wrote I would think he was a woman hating chauvinist.

@ lovebunny

What ya doing on MN then?

Petrolheadz is thata way >>>>

Do you start conversations or just eye roll at theirs.

I am wearing primark pjs by the way
Oh and I'm on a diet

Just deepen the conversation yourself. I know an incredibly pretty former WAG who I assumed would be all about her appearance. First time I talked in depth with her turned out she'd just got back from Auschwitz and once we started I found her fascinating. Dig a little deeper and you might be surprised.

Perhaps they find you dull.

how lovely that you're all around to be so unpleasant!

Weren't you moaning the other day that everyone else was having a good time with lots of happy friendly company? You however had only your little insular family.Wonder why? Perhaps lighten up a bit. :)