Vacuous women - the case against

[Birdspa]

I'm talking about the wives of my husband's friends. All they talk about is shopping, where they bought what from, the case for wedges over flats and fake tan bookings. Can someone please save me?! I am drowning in a vacuum of nothingness. I am trembling at the thought of another dinner party.

Wasn't Germaine Greer on Big Brother?

Given that, Hoely, I think you'd be fine...................

I know a few women like this. Op, dig a little deeper. Of the ones I know...

One had breast cancer and got herself a new pair of boobs after along with lovely clothes, fake tan, shoes to make herself feel better. She loves the fact she is alive and she buys anything she wants because life is too short.

Another had a very strange childhood where money was the priority and she grasps love where she can to make herself feel better. She sounds vacuous on the surface but dig a little deeper.

Of course I also know some that are just vacuous full stop. Like the one who said she didn't understand where I found the time to have a job. She said she could never do it because she wouldn't have the time in between running the children to school, coffee mornings, lunches and Pilates. I tend to avoid that one!

See what's going on under the surface. Everyone has a story to tell.

I talk to my SIL about crap because she holds DM views and after 15 mins of bigotry, i want to attack.

IME, vacuous women are invariably found in the company of men who are addicted to computer games and the long running soap opera that is football.

Men talk about sport in the same way that some women talk about Eastenders and TOWIE.

But that's ok, sport is a manly topic so not vacuous at all

"Yes our talk does tend to schools, exam choices and the like, but from a reasonably informed starting point."

Oh well, at least it's from a 'reasonably informed starting point'. Dinner parties at yours sound like a right raucous affair...

God, threads like this depress me. Why do some of you of even come on here? The conversation on MN is in turns hilarious, challenging, insightful, robust, intelligent, amusing, alternative, interesting and enlightening. And it's 99% women. Do those of you who say you actively avoid women, not see the irony??!

I don't know any women who talk about EE or TOWIE

But I wouldn't stuggle to make conversation with someone at a dinner party if they did

My friends and I can spend hours talking about lipstick hair and trouser lengths but equally we are all able to discuss the economy/politics/books etc and have all been through the mill in one way or another in our personal lives but don't feel the need to be serious 24/7. This thread is sad. You need a certain trust and friendship to go deeper I certainly don't have the same conversations with casual acquaintances

I don't like it when people insist on droning on about politics at dinner parties, whether they be male or female. That saying attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt about the best people talking about ideas is a load of wank. People are much more interesting.

" need a certain trust and friendship to go deeper"

I think that is the point - it is hard to establish that when you don't have shared values. The WAGs might think that the OP is not making any effort with her appearance, and just showing off when she changes the subject

The last dinner party I had we talked about

My friends upcoming wedding
The eurozone crisis
Gossip about a few people at work (is she shagging him? and if so why?)
Shale gas and fracking - pros and cons. one person an anti-activist, others worried about the current lack of security of supply
Anal sex (and we made up a song called "Flying with brown wings" on the subject)
Team GBs excellent performance
Effect of MDMA on the myelin sheath and possible implications
Upcoming holidays and passport issues
Good films

I conclude that there is not enough alchohol at the dinner parties the OP attends.

I suggest you take plenty with you and get things flowing

Well as it turned out, the OP wasn't such a great conversationalist herself was she?

3 1/2 hours later and she still hasn't come up with a reply....

Catgirl, if you live in Edinburgh, please invite me to your next shinding. Sounds great :)

I'm not in Edinburgh, but you can still come

There will be much booze :)

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Booze.

p.s. googles MDMA & myelin sheath. Interesting and worrying.

I know wonders if she has a single sheath left

As an aside, how do you pronounce vacuous? And what are your preferred subjects for small talk with someone you don't know well?

I bet they grow back

Probably.........

It sounds to me op as if you're not being stretched/challenged in your own life?

Are you perhaps a bit bored and looking at other people to fill that void?

OP I think this will give you some excellent advice:

Love that sallying

DH quotes it often.............

iactually is spot on.
You can't judge a person by the quality of their dinner party chat. People have all kinds of stuff going on.
Being able to hold forth in the ins and outs of the political situation in South Korea when no one else is particularly interested makes for a very boring evening.

Being able to discuss all kinds of things with all kinds of people is a nice skill to have.

As pp have said, some of us enjoy the opportunity to talk about trivialities.

Oh yes the 'man's woman'
Anthea Turner
Nigellas Lawson
Samantha Brick

Etc, etc

My sister and i are both graduates in professional jobs. We know a lot about current affairs, politics , Law etc. I have just spoken to her on the phone and we spent the entire time discussing MAC makeup, hair and perfume......