not AIBU but what do I do re child next door (5) left. alone.

[AnaIsAlwaysShocked]

Ok first off sorry for typos I'm on my phone.

DD2 just came in from the garden saying girl next door wants her to go round and play because she's on her own. so I popped out and according to child ( lets call her daisy) her mum dad and brother have gone for a walk without her and told her to stay in the house.

She won't come round here as she's been told not to leave the house, at 5 has no real knowledge of how long they have been etc and I can't leave my house too much as I have 3DCs with me.

My plan is to knock every 5 minutes for the next half hour and then panic or sit with DC in the street until and her at the door until parents arrive. any better ideas? I don't know if I'm panicing and should ignore but surely at 5 Daisys too young to be left.

Do they have a dog? I can't understand why they would go for a walk without one child unless they needed to walk for some reason.

Although they should not have left Daisy alone, I could understand the reasoning of walking with only one child if one was having a paddy and wouldn't come.

Actually, no, I couldn't. There are two parents and they've both gone, one should have stayed home. I can't understand their reasoning at all.

Poor Daisy.

Well done OP, thank goodness for you and grandma.

Sorry, I must have missed a bit, or misunderstood.

How did the grandmother know to ring you? Or had you been leaving messages with her?

Do let us know what the police say. And agree watch out for the parents if they can leave a 5yo on their own then god knows what else they can do!

It could be possible that they went for a walk knowing they would be ages and when they got back it would be past her bedtime so they thought it easier to leave her and let her take herself off to bed?

he was really puzzled as why they would take one child and not the other.

One of my cases started off as a simple 'home alone' case, then the child had a non accidental injury, when we went in to do a home inspection, one child's room was done out beautifully and the other (home alone) was plain and mearly functional.

They idolised one child and scapegoated the other, we came to find out, because of gender, sometimes it's the eldest, or the youngest 'the mistake'.

In a lot of families, that become known to services, there is a often a big difference in the way one child is treated in the family.

Oh my goodness, just read through this thread and told DH about it too - both absolutely shocked that ANYONE could leave their child home alone like that. Disgraceful and do not deserve to be parents.

Well done Ana for being such a vigilant and caring neighbour.

No, no dog.
The Grandma rang their house phone while I was there with DC and had a shock when some stranger answered it.

Haven't read all thread so apologise if something similar has been said.

I have a just turned 6 year old, if I was to leave her alone and just go out with her older siblings she would be inconsolable, she certainly wouldn't think herself a 'big girl'.

To me that sounds like this isn't the first time Daisy's been left by herself.

Reading this with interest.

My next door neighbour has 2 boys ages 8 and 4. The dad works long hours and mum doesnt have a job. Back in the easter holidays I could hear the 4 year old screaming and crying back his back door (inside). I ignored it at first thinking he was in trouble but I could hear him screaming "Mummy where are you" so I went to investigate. The back door was locked and no windows were open. To cut a long story short, I called the police who came and broke in, got the boy out and I said I'd look after him, the police phoned every half hour to check up on him. It was 2 hours before we heard anything from the parents - turns out the 8 year old had been out playing with his friends and had fallen out of a tree. Dad was called to come home to look after 4 year old, he said he would be 30 minutes so mum chose to leave him in the house and get the 8 year old off to hospital. However dads car wouldn't start, he phoned mum to tell her she would have to take the 4 year old with her, but couldnt get hold of her. Dad was in the middle of the countryside and had to walk home.

Bloody hell that's awful!

The whole thing i mean.

got the boy out and I said I'd look after him, the police phoned every half hour to check up on him.

I am reeling at this, tbh, unless you workin CP or similar?

But they still shouldn't have left him, lazy on the police's part, they are lucky that you were safe to leave him with and you are lucky that it turned out well.

Just as a warning, i have handled cases were after sexually abusing their son, parents left him with a neighbour in case the boy said anything, so they could blame the neighbour.

I have had doubt cast over who caused non accidental injuries,because babies have been left with neighbours, to 'nip the shop', but really to try tocover up.

But why didn't the dad phone the police to tell them his child was alone? There's no excuse, is there?

you did the right thing OP.

Poor wee Daisy.

Have you had any worries about this family before? Or noticed them leaving the house without her?

I almost left my 10.6 yr old home alone today because she was being a bitch pain!! But never actually would!!

Oh god so glad Daisy is OK :)

Glad she's ok, well done op

Glad Daisy is ok, Any sign of the police?

It's great that the grandmother felt so strongly too.

I am so glad the little girl is safe and with someone who loves her tonight.

Oh and I've just given my own dear sleeping children an extra kiss.

kejoweddec it is still no excuse, take the 4 year old with you, ask a neighbour, ask family or friends.

leaving a child in a house with no supervision is never OK

Well done Ana. Of course you did the right thing.

My only concern is that these are obviously awful parents, and will she now get in trouble (punished) for making it known she was alone. She didn't stay in the house as she was told etc. just makes me worry for these poor kids.

I would never leave my 8yr old by herself so can not think why anyone would think leaving a 5yr old is acceptable.

Hope the little girl doesnt get into trouble for this.

you did right op, they sound like they do this very often, and are quite dysfunctional

I have a friend who often 'pops out' and leaves her 5yr old DS alone.
It makes me angry and honestly quite sick.
After many warnings I have finally reported her to SS and told her family and mutual friends about it (most of whom already knew).
She doesn't think it is a problem because "he is a good boy who does as he is told" she claims that if she tells him to sit on the sofa and not move he will do it for the entire time she is gone.

I have bumped into her in shops before when she has left him alone, not in an emergency, or needing something urgently, she just cant be bothered to take him with her.
She has also told me that she often goes for a run or a cycle on a morning and leaves him watching tv for up to an hour.

It wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if eventually she ended up leaving him alone to go out on an evening drinking (I hope she doesn't already).

I have tried to talk to her, I have offered to watch her DS any time she needs me to, but she genuinely doesn't see a problem with leaving him alone while she pops out.
She even compares it to being in the bathroom.
A direct quote from her argument is "everyone leaves their kids to go to the toilet for 5 minutes, so what is the difference to poping to the shop for those 5 minutes instead. Or what about when to have a bath, do you have your kids sit on a stool so that you can keep an eye on them, no you leave them alone, it's exactly the same."

Erm, no it really isn't. And I wish she would understand that.

Good for you Ana, I hope Daisy is okay and that her parents are taught a lesson.
The next time I find out my friend had left her DS alone I think I will be calling the police myself.